Baby Shark, the TV series arrives – the parents have not suffered enough? | Television and radio

Tthere is going to be a shark baby drawing. A real shark baby cartoon. Not just another cartoon from YouTube Shark Baby, where the baby shark is swimming and singing about how he is a baby shark. It will be a legitimate, broadcast and legitimate Baby Shark cartoon, which will air on Nickelodeon. Pinkfong, the Korean company that created Baby Shark, joins the cartoon network, which has no release date yet.

A spokesman for Nickelodeon announced the news stating, "At the heart of all popular content, there is a great character, and we have a great opportunity to further explore Baby Shark's world and follow this family." through great animated adventures on Nickelodeon ". Meanwhile, a representative of all the parents in the world reacted to the news by shouting, pushing his nails into his own eyes, falling to the floor, vomiting, crying, vibrating until their brain literally explodes in their skull, muttering "Thank you my God for the gift of a merciful death" and then dying.

If you have young children, you will understand. I have two young children and the prospect of a greater number of baby sharks in the world fills me with an abject fear. I do not even know how there can be more baby shark in the world than it already is, because it's already everywhere I look. Baby Shark's original video on YouTube has been viewed nearly three billion times, and honestly, I think my family could be responsible for a third party.

My children watch Baby Shark on waking. They ask Alexa to play the audio version when we dine. Whenever my family goes on a road trip, the moment inevitably comes when the youngest starts crying on the backside, and the only thing that will calm him down, is when my wife has to go back. physically hang on the pbadenger seat. make a video of Baby Shark and show it to him in a loop until we arrive wherever we are.

I wrote about Baby Shark last year and, to thank me, Pinkfong sent me a Baby Shark toy that plays Baby Shark in its entirety every time someone touch, which is all the time lost. Hand in hand, my youngest child could sing Baby Shark before they can say "dad". In short, I need a cartoon shark baby like I need someone to perform a colonoscopy on me with a bus on fire.

Maybe you do not know what Baby Shark is. If so, go show yourself. Go elsewhere. I will not tell you what is Baby Shark because I am legitimately envious of your beautiful ignorance. All my life is baby shark and I hate what that has done to me. You could kill me and leave my body in the desert, and after a thousand years, my dry bones would still ring with the sound of Baby Shark. This is the depth of the song. It's the hell of my existence.

But let's go back to the series. A traditional broadcaster, such as Nickelodeon, licenses a YouTube character with something desperate because it is reminiscent of old-fashioned media. Certainly the Ryan's World Toys series – a YouTube channel about a seven-year-old boy playing toys with his own likeness – is on the verge of fright.

But Baby Shark could be different because it already exists in such a well-established universe that Nickelodeon has a lot of options. There is of course the original video of Baby Shark, where the Baby Shark family tries unsuccessfully to hunt a school of fish. But there is also the video Baby Shark where the fish forms a union and starts to hunt sharks. And the video of Baby Shark where Baby Shark plays with a ball, gets lost and has to recruit a fish fisherman to find his way home. And the Baby Shark video where Baby Shark punishes a nasty octopus with the fish. And the Baby Shark video where Baby Shark goes on a picnic. There is the Baby Shark video where Baby Shark's grandparents renew their wedding vows. And the Baby Shark video where Baby Shark reveals her aspirations to become an architect.

Realistically, Nickelodeon has a large open canvas to play with here. In fact, in the world of Monkey Banana (literally "Baby Shark", but with all the words changed to "Monkey Banana"), you have potential for a shared universe whose magnitude would make Marvel blush. Damn, why stop at a Baby Shark TV show? Why not make a Baby Shark movie? Why not publish shark baby novels? Why not send astronauts into space to carve baby shark's face in the moon? Why not just inject baby shark DNA into our nervous system so that we all become members of the baby shark and go aimlessly to look for schools of fish with our families all day long? Baby Shark has already eaten my life, so I could as well mend it properly.