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reaniel howell spent the pandemic in “a slight apocalyptic nuclear bunker”, with a terrible internet. It’s a real eye-opener for someone who rose to fame documenting his life on YouTube, with his channel reaching over 6 million subscribers.
Speaking on a Zoom call, the former BBC Radio 1 presenter jokes that his routine of ‘watering houseplants’ and ‘looking out the windows’ has been cut short. But despite the dystopian glaze eclipsing 2020, he hasn’t found this year as harsh as some.
“I mean, I’ll be honest. I’m one of those slightly agoraphobic chronic introverts, ”he says. “We were probably more predisposed to survive a pandemic. So this lack of human interaction, I don’t hate it. But maybe at some level, after a whole year, I’m like, okay, maybe I could have seen a person?
Howell’s frank discussion of his mental health, often using humor to talk about difficult situations, is what marked his YouTube channel so successful. He uploaded his first video, entitled “hello internet”, on October 16, 2009.
After a hiatus, in June 2019, he turned gay in a video. He spoke of the homophobia he suffered, especially at school, until a suicide attempt when he was a teenager. He is now an Ambassador for Young Minds, a charity that helps youth struggling with their mental health.
The reaction to his videos inspired him to work with Young Minds, one of the Guardian and Observer’s 2020 Appeal charities for disadvantaged youth. “I felt like, OK, well I have this audience now, that they care, they’re fed up, and they want to do something about it. I want to do something about it.
The pandemic “really makes you appreciate the little things that are there,” he says. This has caused people to consider what is good for their mental health, something “that we should all do more often”.
On the other hand, Howell believes he has highlighted the dire state of mental health services in the UK. “We’re talking for the good of the NHS. And even in recent years, when the conversation about mental health has been much more of a priority on the table, it’s still not enough. I mean, you look at some of the stats, and they all go in the wrong direction.
He says that rather than “token investments by government,” there needs to be a culture shift to “actually understand and prioritize mental health,” with an emphasis on prevention rather than cure. “Especially for young people, it’s about intervening for the few people who are at the point of crisis,” he says.
Howell says he didn’t get a lot of help with his mental health as a child, and as a result, he led to a lot of harmful behaviors with him in adulthood. Since his YouTube release he has taken a little hiatus and is now writing a book on mental health. Talking to his YouTube subscribers about his sexuality has been a big time, he says, and they’ve seen it all through his videos, from his collapse in college to battling depression.
“I’m here now as someone who really feels like they’ve taken the first breath of my life, because anyone with mental health issues, you feel like you have to keep your head down and keep going. struggle through it to maybe get to that place where you feel you have the security you need, ”he says.
His online journey made him realize that some of the issues he had with his sexuality were fundamental to why he had always struggled with depression. The 28-year-old is “starting with a blank slate” for the first time, he says.
But he worries about the future of the generation that is now reaching adulthood. “I mean, it’s a shame, isn’t it?” The state of the university in this country is a complete scam. The fact that we tell them everything is good. They take out these horrible student loans, get trapped in their homes with online courses and everything is canceled.
He says it is easy, if the government thinks a group is not voting, to not be represented. “But you know, if you expect them to be your caregivers in 30 years, you have to make sure that they will be successful in life in all areas.
“If these people don’t get support to become functional members of society, it’s going to screw everyone up. So I really think it’s one of the bullets that got completely dropped. And you know, fortunately young people are energetic and resilient enough, to be able to survive it, but they absolutely shouldn’t have to put up with it. And it will come back with some consequences.
Howell hopes his new book will help those who may be going through what he went through growing up. He now knows on a fundamental level how to feel better. “I understand how to be aware, how to get myself out of my head,” he says.
One of the most interesting things he learned while researching the book, he says, is the power of knowing that you are not your thoughts. He says that in our modern lives we are trapped in “these sterile environments, mainly trying to solve mental problems in our mind.”
“We just become prisoners of these intense thoughts and emotions,” he says. “Learning to step back and take a step back from there is important… If you catch yourself, while you are boiling the kettle, entering that negative thought space, just to learn how to go, know how you get out of it… Really makes a difference, and not just on thoughts and feelings. It makes you a better, more successful and more complete human being.
“So it’s not just about yoga, and taking expensive trips to a retreat. This means that if you want to be a functional human capable of meeting the challenges of your life, you must understand how to be the master of your mind.
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If you are a young person struggling with your mental health, advice and support is available on the YoungMinds website, including information on how to get help. If you are a young person in need of urgent support, contact the YoungMinds Crisis Messenger by texting YM at 85258. The Young Minds Parents Helpline can be called free of charge on 0808 802 5544 from 9:30 a.m. to 4 p.m., Monday to Friday.
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