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Name: Elon Musk vs. Jeff Bezos.
Age: About two.
Appearance: Gold-plated vulgarity that pisses your stomach.
Oh great, the Godzilla v Kong of turbo-gits. Now, just because they’re both rich doesn’t mean Musk and Bezos are monsters.
OK, you’re right, I was too quick to judge. Why are we talking about them? Musk wants to send Bezos a giant statue of number two, along with a silver medal, after beating him to become the richest person in the world.
Can I judge them now? Of course go there.
It is the most heinous thing I have ever heard. OK, fine, yeah, that’s pretty disgusting. But if one obscenely wealthy billionaire can’t laugh at another obscenely wealthy billionaire in public, then what’s the good of having all that money?
You could do something useful with it, like cancer eradication. Bezos and Musk continue to push themselves for the title of the richest person in the world. Bezos has, for the most part, had more money than anyone since 2018, but a Tesla stock rally in January meant Musk passed him for the first time. Bezos regained the crown a month later. Then in March, Musk had more money, then Bezos had it again.
So what happened this time around? Bezos lost a billion dollars on Monday.
Oh no, that’s an incredibly large amount of money. What happened? Was there a devastating fire? A trial ? Will he have to sell his house? No. Amazon’s stock fell by half of 1%. That’s all.
Seriously, fuck these guys. They are each worth $ 200 billion.
Sorry, that’s an unfathomable number. In other words, they are each worth the equivalent of New Zealand’s GDP. If Musk’s or Bezos’ wealth were evenly divided among the people of the UK, we would each be £ 3,000 more. If you stacked 200 billion house bricks on top of each other, you would come halfway to Mars.
So this rivalry is about the money? Well, money and space.
Space? Yes. Bezos and Musk are also engaged in a battle to see who can become the first uncomfortably rich man to colonize space. Musk’s SpaceX recently won a $ 2.9 billion NASA deal, and Bezos’ Blue Origin filed a lawsuit challenging it.
Ugh. Musk wants to colonize Mars, but Bezos ridiculed him for it. Bezos wants Amazon to launch Internet satellites into space, which has led Musk to call it a “copier.” And it goes on and on.
It seems that there may be overcompensation here. What, of a man who just made a giant phallus fly in space? Never.
Say: “Musk and Bezos both want to be the richest person in the world.”
Do not say : “Maybe they should be taxed properly?” “
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