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How many times have you wanted to be able to give advice to your young child?
According to a researcher at Clemson University, many people have this desire several times a week.
For many, it's anything but futile. In fact, it can help people become their "ideal selves," according to Dr. Robin Kowalski, a professor in the Department of Psychology at Clemson University.
Kowalski's paper in the Journal of Social Psychology, "If I knew then what I know now: advice for my youngest," badyzes the results of two studies involving more than 400 people over 30 years.
The results reveal the nature of regret, how people can use it to achieve themselves and what areas they tend to be interested in later, she said.
Although some people think you should not dwell on the past, Kowalksi says the opposite.
"My findings would suggest the opposite as long as you're not obsessed with that," she said.
One-third of the study participants spontaneously think of the advice they would give to their youngest at least once a week, which is a significant number, she noted.
These people – and those who may be thinking a little less about the past – can benefit from this because it helps them to conceptualize and even realize their "ideal self," which reflects what the person thinks she would like to be she explained.
"Following the advice helped the participants overcome their regrets," she said. "When participants followed their advice in the present, they were much more likely to say that their youth themselves would be proud of the person they are now."
Kowalski also found that almost half of the participants said that the advice they would give their youth themselves would influence their description of their future, be it "successful and financially stable" or "old and decrepit." ".
According to Kowalski, education, self-confidence and relationships are the top three areas that people focus on.
Education-related counseling often consisted of encouraging individuals to return to school or to finish school, and many participants proposed a timeline, such as "master your mastery at age 20" or "finish the university in four years ".
Self-esteem counseling, such as "be yourself" or "think about all options before making a decision," tended to be more inspiring and corrective, she said.
Kowalski said that all of this advice, especially with regards to relationships, can lead to corrective behavior.
"My favorite advice in the whole paper came from a guy who said," Do it. Do not. Marry. She. & # 39; & # 39; Kowalski said. "It's valuable to the person he is now because he can think and get a better idea of what he's looking for in an ideal partner, not to mention he can advise others."
Kowalski says his findings are consistent with those of "reminiscence shock" research, which is the tendency of older people to remember more about the events that occurred in their teens and adulthood. Most of the advice given by the study participants was related to a major event that occurred between the ages of 10 and 30 years.
"These are critical years. People go to high school and college, get married, have children and start their careers, "she said. "On the one hand, you can say," Duh, of course, these are important years, "but when we separated the positive and negative determinative events, almost all fell into that period. It is interesting to find clear evidence to support the crisis of reminiscence. "
"This subject has an emotional appeal and that's what attracted me the most," she continued. "These are two of my favorite studies I've ever done because everyone can be interested and everyone has asked the question."
Source: Clemson University
Photo: Robin Kowalski, a professor in the psychology department at Clemson University, is willing to bet that no one has thought about it at least once in the past year. Her research indicates that the chances of her being right are pretty good. Credit: Clemson University.
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