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- According to Pollack Peacebuilding Systems, a conflict resolution consultancy, the average US employee spends almost three hours a week on conflict. That's $ 359 billion in lost paid hours.
- To quickly defuse a sudden conflict, founder Jeremy Pollack recommends the LEAF strategy. It means listening, empathizing, excusing and fixing.
- Here's how you can resolve a sudden conflict in 60 seconds or less using the LEAF strategy, although it does not work for deeper and long-standing conflicts.
- Visit BusinessInsider.com for more stories.
For many people in today's work world, the most difficult part of their job may not be a professional one, but to get along with their colleagues and bosses. Office politics, high levels of stress and conflicting personalities create a perfect storm for interpersonal conflict in the workplace.
Such conflict can hurt employee morale and affect productivity. In fact, employees of US companies spend about 2.8 hours a week on the conflict, according to Pollack Peacebuilding Systems, a San Francisco-based conflict resolution firm. That's $ 359 billion in paid hours that are not spent on real work.
But that does not have to be like that. Jeremy Pollack, founder of Pollack Peacebuilding Systems, recommends applying the "LEAF" process for conflict resolution. The acronym means listening, showing empathy, excusing and fixing.
"If you follow these simple and quick steps, you should be able to defuse the situation and solve the problem fairly quickly," he told Business Insider. "Remember LEAF and practice it, and you'll be able to implement the process in less than 60 seconds."
Related:How to make your colleagues like you, in 60 seconds or less
He notes that this approach concerns sudden and acute conflicts, which generally result from misinterpretation, misperception or misunderstanding.
"If there are deeper and longer-lasting conflicts, such as personality conflicts or communication style, it may take more than a few minutes to resolve them," he said. It's how to use the approach.
Listen deeply to the other person
This can be difficult for some, but the first step in resolving a conflict is simply to stop talking and listen to the other person.
"Let the person say what she needs to tell you, and do your best not to defend, avoid, ignore or neglect their point of view," Pollack said.
And do not just listen to make a quick return. Try to really hear what the other person is saying and let her talk until she's finished.
Understanding of what the person feels and why they are upset
The next step is to put yourself in the place of the other person. Empathize and try to understand where they come from and why they feel in a certain way.
"If your goal is conflict resolution or de-escalation, as opposed to defending your position or the insistence of your reason, you will have to learn to empathize," Pollack said. "It requires some ability to rise above your own position, your own ego, for a moment and be there for that person."
Aims to create a safe space for people where they feel free to express themselves and express their concerns. Strive to tap into what they feel.
"It does not mean that you agree with them, but rather that you hear and understand them as best as you can," he said.
S & # 39; excuse for what you did it could have caused a problem
Then, excuse yourself for what you were able to do that was apparently perceived in a hurtful way. It's up to you to play your part, Pollack said.
"Again, you do not have to agree with them, you do not have to accept that you were wrong and that they were right. They are suffering and you have done something, perhaps inadvertently, that they perceived as harmful. "
Do not apologize for what the other person is feeling. Saying, "I'm sorry for how you feel about it" can be condescending and not accountable for your actions.
Solve the problem by taking action
Finally, explain to the other person how you are going to remedy what you have done and make sure that it will not happen again – if you wish and if you can.
If you do not know how to solve the problem or what to solve, ask, then, says Pollack.
"If, on the other hand, you clearly know what needs to be settled, let it know [what you intend to do] right now, and ask if that's enough. "
Now, put the whole LEAF approach into action
To understand the LEAF approach in action, consider this scenario. Bob and Mary are colleagues and Mary is upset because Bob has told a joke that she found it shocking.
If Bob wanted to remedy this situation, he would go to Mary, ask him what was wrong, and listening to his answer. Then, instead of defending himself, he would strive to show empathy and understand how she felt about the joke. Then he would have s & # 39; excuse for telling the joke and making him feel the same. Finally, Bob would propose to repair the problem, which might look something like this, Pollack said.
"Wow, Mary, I'm sorry to have come this way, I certainly did not intend to do that, but yes, I can fully understand why you would feel like that." After what I said, I will not make this comment, again, and I will create a new policy in our employee handbook so that it does not happen again. Is there anything else you think I should do? "
Hopefully, if both parties really want to solve the problem, this approach will eliminate the conflict and help prevent future conflicts.
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