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Welcome to You Do not Look Sick – a weekly series about people living with an invisible disease and a hidden disability.
Every week, we discuss a different illness with someone who lives with it, talking about symptoms, treatments, and how people react to their reaction because they do not look sick.
Andrew Stevens, a native of Scotland, has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), a mental health disorder in which a person has obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors.
He spent 10 years living with this disease, having started to show symptoms after leaving the army, but said that he did not know that there was a name for it. He lived.
Andrew made a career in the armed forces as a painter and finisher, but was fired in 2007.
After getting out of the RAF, he found a job as a bus driver but he had trouble adjusting to civilian life.
Shortly after starting work, he caught a cold but went to work. After finding out how sick he was, he was sent home.
But when he returned to work a few days later, he was informed of the procedure for taking days off, which he was not used to in the army.
He explains, "I became obsessed with the need to stay healthy all the time after. I was obsessed with everything that is clean.
"I became anxious and depressed and quite quickly, things slipped. I started to worry about everything, my finances, my family, my new job, my home. & # 39;
Andrew began to have trouble washing his hands, which has been progressively aggravated.
He explains: "Every day was very long, because every action had a routine. The worst was washing my hands or leaving the house.
"I would not eat food if I thought something was wrong, I only ate food from a branch of Tesco.
"I was checking the packages and scrapping them if there were packaging problems. The reasons were weird but very real and justified for me at the time.
"People think you're weird but it does not matter because your anxiety does not allow you to try something different."
His compulsions had a real impact on every aspect of his life, especially as the father of his three children.
He says, "When I got home, I was not going to get close to my children. I know it sounds crazy, but I could not risk touching them.
"I washed my hands four or five times and were still not happy.
"I would make the bed and if it did not look like I wanted, I would do it again.
"I started to avoid parts of the house and finally stopped going out. I spent hours in the shower trying to clean myself.
"I would not touch my food and I would go around the house checking that everything was locked."
These symptoms persisted for 10 years before Andrew finally got help after his wife suggested going to the general practitioner.
He explains, "My wife, Claire, booked me an appointment and insisted I leave. The doctor quickly decided that I had severe OCD. "
Andrew was fired and referred for consultations with the NHS, but was told that the waiting list was at least three to six months long.
He called RAF Benevolent Fund, a charity created to help former soldiers. They enrolled her in a listening and counseling service in a few weeks, allowing her to return to work within three months.
This helped Andrew begin to learn how to handle his compulsions.
He explains, "I was not one to share my problems in a group. It meant that talking on the phone with a specialist doing CBT therapy was my best option.
"If I'm talking about this now, it's for others to know that you can overcome that. I do not want others to suffer as long as me.
"What really keeps me in mind is how quickly the Fund stepped in and offered support. I would not be here without them. I was about to finish things.
"I started to realize that I could get better and that there was a future."
After starting to take care of his mental health, Andrew was more open with his friends and family about what he had been going through, after hiding his symptoms for years, and most said that they had no idea that something was wrong.
What are the symptoms of OCD?
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) affects people differently, but usually causes a particular pattern of thoughts and behaviors.
This model has 4 main steps:
- Obsession – when an unwanted, intrusive and often painful mind, thought, or envy repeatedly enters your mind.
- Anxiety – the obsession causes a feeling of intense anxiety or distress.
- Compulsion – repetitive behaviors or mental acts that you feel driven to perform because of the anxiety and distress caused by the obsession.
- Temporary Relief – Compulsive behavior temporarily relieves anxiety, but the obsession and anxiety reappear quickly, causing the beginning of the cycle.
NHS
He adds, "Once the diagnosis was made, everyone said, 'I never knew it. You worked hard and laughed in the group "
When you feel at home, you apologize for not going to a family party or with your friends. It's very easy when you work a lot.
"My life has become eating, sleeping, working, starting over as I thought then.
"After months of therapy, I started seeing people again and they asked me where I was. When I told them, they said, "You would not have guessed that something was wrong, you always seemed to be fine."
I could very well hide it so nobody knows it. People would not understand, I seemed to be okay.
"Only people who are very close to you can see that you are not doing well, but you do not want them to worry, so you continue your life."
Andrew also believes that there is a lack of understanding because people have started to use the term OCD improperly to mean that they are very particular or like to be pure.
He says, "I am an OCD," they say all the time, simply because they like to keep things in order.
"I want people to understand how serious an OCD can be. It's a type of anxiety and if you really need to do this routine, you may need some help. "
Andrew's mental health has improved and he says he can now enjoy life again.
"I am after a year and a half, my children have found their father, my wife is adorable, I live in a large part of Scotland. We do things we have never done in years. "
He recently started his own business Courage2Explore, combining entrepreneurship building and military-style training. He also works with young adults in schools.
More: Health
"I really try not to let myself be held back or to prevent that I realize what I want in life. It is important for me to strive to lead as normal a life as possible; I live independently, have a full time job and now have my own family. "
How to get involved with you Do not look sick
You do not look sick is the weekly Metro.co.uk series that deals with invisible diseases and disabilities.
If you have an invisible illness or disability and want to participate, please send an e-mail to [email protected].
You will need to share photos that show the impact of your condition on your health and you have time to have your picture taken.
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