"I saw three amputees who, I knew, were going to die," says a veteran

For all those who did not face the war, this is not an easy concept to understand, but as she managed to manage her own post-traumatic stress disorder, Rebecca says she learned how to "turn off" this adrenaline in everyday life and find peace.

"I just could not talk about it," the London veteran told Metro.co.uk.

"I had just lived in a war zone where people are dying and I'm thinking of what I'm going to eat for tea.

"You have to adapt a lot. It's surreal.

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Rebecca knows exactly what it means to work in Afghanistan, but said that she had suicidal thoughts and paralyzing guilt after the diagnosis because her scars were not physical.

The mother of three, now living in Elgin, Scotland, said, "I thought everything was fine.

"But I was not doing well, I felt guilty of not being beaten by the Taliban or having lost my legs …

"I felt that I had no justification to feel what I felt."

Rebecca, who worked as a reservist for the Army Health Services for 18 years, always wanted to be part of the forces and enlisted at age 30 to follow in her father's and brother's footsteps .

When the time came for her to work as a maid at the Bastion Basin Hospital in Afghanistan, she was ready to do her job, even though it was a very difficult time for the family.

But she said that no training could prepare her emotionally for her first tour of Afghanistan in 2010, which she describes as "manic" after witnessing many "heartbreaking incidents".

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Every day she saw people caught in gunfire or explosions with serious injuries and her job was to rush to the computer to tell the chain of command what to do.

Rebecca, now a lecturer in social sciences, said the pressure was "huge", knowing that it was his responsibility to inform all relevant departments of the urgent need for treatment to save lives.

"I could not help some of the victims and that worried me a lot. One particular incident that remained to me is a bombing of the market where we had 16 to 20 victims at a time, "she said.

"People came with children who did not need stretchers because of their small size.

"There were triple amputees that you knew could not be saved. Just take care of them until the end. '

Three years ago, Rebecca began struggling to cope with everything that she had seen, but despite the fact that every role in the military was crucial to the operation, Rebecca felt that it was important for her. she was "not allowed" to be traumatized by her memories because she was "hidden" behind a computer.

Instead, Rebecca first rejected the fact that there was something wrong and attributed it to menopause.

She said: "I constantly dreamed of intrusive thoughts and the victims I had seen. I could not solve everything in my mind or treat it.

"People would talk to me and I will not remember the conversation.

"I had suicidal thoughts and I did not want to tell anyone."

Her husband finally advised her doctor to go to the doctor and she suggested that she seek the help of Combat Stress, a British charity known for the mental health of her veterans.

At his "shock", he was diagnosed with complex post-traumatic stress disorder (PCTCT).

CPTSD is a condition in which a person exhibits symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, as well as additional emotional symptoms such as depressive and suicidal thoughts.

In October 2018, research by the British Journal of Psychiatry suggested that the rate of PTSD had increased among current and former military personnel.

Between 2014 and 2016, the rate of PTSD was 6%, compared to 4% between 2004 and 2006, but the researchers said that more people were getting help, the abuse of psoriasis was higher. alcohol dropping 5%.

But Rebecca said she was initially "pretty annoyed" by the doctor's suggestions and saw it as a "sign of weakness."

After contacting Combat Stress, the veteran realized that she had never been touched by the losses she suffered because she did not know what had happened to them.

"They came and you would not know their names – everyone has an ID number – until you saw it on the news that they were dead," Rebecca said.

But things started to turn around when she enrolled in the six week Combat Stress treatment program.

With other veterans, she participated in group and individual clbades, yoga, Thai and gardening – but she made the most of art therapy, which she still practices today. hui.

Now Rebecca says that she feels "stronger" than ever and that she does not regret an instant joining the army, despite her difficult experiences, which inspired her to become head of support for other war veterans, along with his work at the university. Highlands and islands.

She said, "It was amazing. Combat Stress has taught me to understand these trained reactions of fight or flight and to accept what I've seen.

"It changed my life."

Robert Marsh, fundraising director at Combat Stress, says that veterans are waiting on average thirteen years after leaving the military before asking for help.

He said: "Over the past decade, the number of new referrals to Combat Stress has increased by 97%, but we know that more and more veterans are struggling silently.

"We strongly encourage them and their families to contact our 24-hour hotline for confidential advice and support at 0800 138 1619."