I want to end the taboo around the bowel cancer before I lose my life

I was diagnosed with four bowel cancer in June 2017.

It all happened very quickly; several weeks after first visiting my GP with mild stomach pain, I had an emergency surgery to remove a large tumor from my bowel.

The four forms of the disease have spread beyond the bowel – and in my case, into my liver and lungs.

It's incurable with fewer than 10 per cent of four-year-old bowel cancer patients living for more than five years.

I'm nearly two years in already.

After the operation I had the pleasure of being given a stoma, an opening in my abdomen through which my poo pbades into a bag. This almost came as a bigger shock than the cancer itself.

But with help from the amazing specialist stoma nurses, it has become surprisingly easy to live with and, frankly, is now the least of my concerns.

I've been here for a long time as long as possible.

The treatment is grueling, and the side effects can leave me terribly fatigued for several days.

Until recently, it seems to be working, but my most recent scan has been to increase the size of the tumor in my lungs. And so, my continuous treatment.

How do I cope? The biggest challenge is acceptance.

Before being diagnosed at 52, I had a reasonable life expectancy of perhaps 30 or more years. I have had to recalibrate and think of terms of possibly only a matter of months.

I continue to occupy this awkward space, sandwiched between my pre-cancer life and probable early death.

Such a change is a lot of getting used to, but it's focused on my mind, and it's more important in life.

Bizarrely that's a positive change for me – enjoying and enjoying the moment.

I have built a new life for myself and it is, in its own way, satisfying.

I write a blog, read, walk, spend too much time on social media and drink coffee in local cafes.

In my pre-cancer life, I thought it would be a good idea to learn how to do it.

I am involved with Bowel Cancer UK and Velindre Cancer Center in Cardiff, where I receive my treatment, fundraising and increasing awareness of disease.

With more time on my hands than ever, it helps me to have some purpose.

More importantly, these are two fantastic organizations in different ways that have helped me hugely and quite literally kept me alive. It's a real pleasure to be able to give something back to them.

Yet I continue to occupy this awkward space, sandwiched between my pre-cancer life and probable early death.

There's a lot of cat in the world about the importance of maintaining a 'positive attitude'.

I often think this can not be said to have a negative impact on a person's life.

I'm looking forward to helping you keep me up. Since cancer is more important than it is.

That said, there really is no substitute for sharing with others who have been through the same or similar experiences.

Through my blog, social media and my involvement with Bowel Cancer UK, I have encountered many others living with cancer and have been fortunate to meet and form friendships with some of them.

It is such a benefit to be able to share practical information about coping with bowel cancer, giving and receiving moral support or simply sharing a joke.

I have made a point of being as frank as possible about my illness and I am hopefully making some positive contribution.

I do have my moments though.

Cancer can be psychologically draining and it's so tough on family and loved ones – something that's frequently forgotten.

While we do support one another, we inevitably have a low time when acceptance is a huge challenge.

I sometimes wonder if I'm in the middle of the seriousness of my illness.

I feel well when I'm not so hot, so it's often difficult to imagine that I'm extremely ill. I try to enjoy life to the full and it is not easy to think of a premature end.

People are frequently surprised to learn that bowel cancer is the most common cancer in the UK and the second biggest cancer killer.

It often goes under the radar when compared to other cancers.

This may be due to the problem of bowels and poo and embarrbadment – particularly among men – and with symptoms.

The positive news is that if diagnosed in the early stages, bowel cancer is very treatable and the survival rates are good.

However, these deteriorates significantly if the disease is not detected until its advanced stages.

You really do not want to end up in my situation.

For obvious reasons I can not look too far into the future. I just want to keep going for a long time.

I'm thinking about my wife and family and I'm gone.

But I take comfort in the fact that they're strong and I know they will get through these difficult times.

MORE: I do not tell people I had childhood cancer

MORE: My Label and Me: I let the cancer shape my life, but now I live to the full

MORE: People affected by bowel cancer tell their stories to the disease does not discriminate