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"It's my secret, Cape, I'm still angry."
Ian Wright can identify with this clbadic line of Bruce Banner, the one set out by the Marvel character while he is about to turn into a Hulk.
Not because the former English striker is a superhero in the eyes of many fans of Arsenal and Crystal Palace, but because, for him, "for a large part of my life, I'm not a fan of the game. was angry, I was always angry ".
Wright is aware that his story is traditionally told as one of those stories "Never give up on your dreams" – not becoming professional until the age of 21, working as a laborer and spending a month in prison.
In reality, the 55-year-old said his path to professional football was "11 years of failure", falling asleep, fighting in the Sunday League and trying to deal with the cruelty of her stepfather.
In an open and honest room for The Players & # 39; Tribune, Wright explains how he was not born with that cheerful golden tooth smile that we see during the game of the day on a Saturday night. He deserved it the hard way.
Match of the day – torture at 'Graceland & # 39;
Wright was born in Woolwich, South London, before moving to a roommate with his family in Brockley and then to a house of their own.
But Wright would spend as much time as possible hitting a tennis ball against a wall on the outside, partly to avoid being intimidated by his half-brother and, in part, particular, of his father-in-law.
"It was a guy who smoked herbs, who gambled and who was coming home late," Wright said.
"I do not know why, but he did not particularly like me."
One of the things that most worried Wright, the pbadionate footballer, was forced to stand up and look away when Match of the Day started.
"My father-in-law took that away from us," he added. "Just because he could.
"According to the mood in which he was, he had entered the room just before it started and he said," Turn around. Turn against the wall. "
"We had to face the wall throughout the match of the day, and the cruelest thing was that we could always hear everything, it was horrible, I was crying to sleep every time. he did it. "
Wright says it stayed with him for years whenever the music of the Match of the Day theme came into play.
"I'll be honest with you, it still comes to me from time to time," he added.
"The first time I went into the series as a presenter, Des Lynam approached me and said," Ian Wright, welcome to Match of the Day. "
"I almost burst into tears." I said to Des: "This is my Graceland".
"I spent so much time angry and trying to catch up with myself"
In his article on the Players' Tribune, Wright talks about his rejection of Brighton after a six-week trial and his failure at Crystal Palace. He goes to jail for not paying his fine and adopts Shaun Wright-Phillips after meeting his mother Sharon. , 19 years old.
Two years later, the worker got his professional break at Palace, despite the rejection of the first Eagles bid, but when Wright scored twice after being a substitute in the FA Cup final against Manchester United in 1990 , was the opinion of former professor Sydney Pigden who stayed in his mind.
Wright said that the teacher was "the only man who helped me through this dark time," while he was a child who could barely read or write: "He changed my life."
Mr. Pigden taught him to read and write, but also to manage his anger, to be patient, to be confident, to communicate and to badume his responsibilities.
"He was the first man who showed me any type of love," Wright said.
"When I was playing for England, he called it the proudest moment of his life." "Imagine it." This teacher, who had already been a pilot in World War II, had flown over Buckingham Palace … watched a child going to school play football. "
Mr. Pigden died last year at the age of 95.
"He's always with me, he'll always be with me," said Wright.
Today, as a father and grandfather, Wright said he was "striving to give back" and wanted football to be easily accessible to those who benefit from it, on the ground as well. on the outside.
"The truth is that I spent so much time in my life angry and trying to catch up after a bad start," he added.
"Maybe now that you've read my story, you'll see me on TV with a bright smile, and you'll really understand that I was not born with it, I deserved it."
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