Malin Andersson considered suicide after the sudden death of Baby Consy

Malin Andersson confessed to nearly killing himself after the death of his beautiful daughter Consy in January.

The Love Island star gave birth by emergency caesarean at 33 weeks after finding that her baby had stopped kicking.

Little Consy had to be resuscitated a few minutes after her arrival and the doctors announced that the newborn was suffering from a serious heart condition.

After four exhausting weeks at the NICU of Great Ormond Street Hospital, Consy unfortunately got a virus and was too weak to fight it.

She died four weeks ago with Malin at her side, while the doctors were doing everything they could to save her.

Speaking honestly and openly about how she managed, Malin, a courageous woman, said she had thought about suicide, especially after her heartbreaking journey to record the birth and death of Consy at the same time.

"A few days after her death, she sank and I did not leave my bed, I dug myself to find out why I should continue living," she told Fabulous magazine. .

"My mind was going crazy, but I just had to use all the strength I had left, and I knew I did not want to waste Consy's precious life."

Malin's ex-boyfriend, Tom Kemp, is completely closed and has not helped much in the depths of his grief.

"Tom did not really lose anyone close to him, so he did not do it … he says that she was his too, and I know that". he liked it in pieces, but it's not the same thing.And we just strayed.I do not want to be together, but when we were separated, I was alone and sad. "

Malin was still shocked by the loss of her mother, also named Consy, who died of cancer in November 2017.

In a triple hit, Malin had already lost his father to a skin cancer and had been shaken by the death of his friend Sophie Gradon, of Love Island, found dead at her parents' home in June 2018.

It was these losses that prepared Malin for the tragic death of his granddaughter.

"It would be easy to feel angry, I go out and see a lot of babies and I can look at them and think," Why is not my daughter here? "Or I could think," What a beautiful baby. "It's the only way to survive, otherwise depression will swallow me up, and I'll end up being suicidal," she said.

"I just had that resilience – it was built in me that no one has been around for a long time, and I suppose that with baby Consy I prepared myself for the worst."

Malin 's party was much to party in the weeks following the death of his mother, but said that his unplanned pregnancy had actually saved him.

"As soon as I became pregnant, I immediately became sober and started to eat well and manage my grief in a real way," she said.

"So this little girl already saved me from taking a very bad path, I let her grow in me so I knew I had to work harder to do things the right way."

Although Malin and Tom separated shortly after Consy's death, they have recently tried again – but she does not think they'll go any further.

Malin also feels abandoned by old friends who have stopped calling and watching her after her loss.

But she still feels her mother around her and often dreams of Consy holding her grandmother's hand.

"I need to talk to her and remember her – I can feel her all around me," added Malin.

"I will always remember her big, big brown eyes, they had such a story to tell, I feel like she's an old soul and she knew she would not stay here long. she came to teach me something and I'm sure anything will happen. "

If you have trouble talking and need to talk, Samaritans run a free 24/7 phone line at 116 123, or you can email it to them. @ samaritans.org