Melody Thornton, of the Pussycat Dolls, reveals that she needed therapy while the group dominated by Nicole Scherzinger

As part of the Pussycat Dolls, Melody Thornton played in dazzling outfits in front of the stadium crowd screaming against her bady dance moves.

But Dancing On Ice's favorite revealed that she was secretly in treatment for low self-esteem during her time with the noughties girl group.

She said, "I lost so much self-confidence and I felt really useless. Because it was stressed over and over again that I was the weakest link in the group.

"And when you're told, over and over again," you're worthless in this group, "it's amazing how it affects you mentally.

"I never felt unsafe before joining the Pussycat Dolls."

Melody was only 19 years old and had just completed high school when she joined the band with Nicole Scherzinger, Ashley Roberts, Kimberly Wyatt and Jessica Sutta.

Melody, now 34, is overwhelmed by the endless criticism of record label directors and Nicole's frustration with her role as first vocalist.

She said, "It was terrible, uncomfortable. I was a singer, not a qualified dancer, but I was not allowed to sing and it was said that I could not dance.

"Imagine you're on the subway next to someone you do not trust. If you feel that way, bottle it and smell it every night for 90 minutes, that's how you feel for six or seven years. So it was overwhelming.

As we speak, the American is in tears as she remembers how she tried to hide the emotional tension behind the pains and posture of a Pussycat Doll.

"Once, Whitney Houston was in the audience and I sang like never before. So every night I told myself that she was in the crowd to give me the strength to pretend to be another person.

"I had to do something to keep going. So after each concert, I went back to my room and in the shower, I was still singing a song by Donny Hathaway called A Song For You. It's a pretty depressing song, but I was trying to find a place to relieve my pain.

"I've always asked for a room at a place separate from that of my group mates because they would know that it's me who sings."

Life in a demanding and harshly ruthless work environment quickly had such an impact that Melody exhibited physical symptoms.

"I started having panic attacks when I was in the group, in planes and in random places. It was obvious that my body was saying "let's stop doing this".

"So I was in therapy when I was in the dolls and maybe two years later. My last panic attack was in 2014.

"I have never taken any medicine. It was definitely suggested but I did not take anything. I did not stop thinking about myself: "It's real life and it's an unusual situation that few people understand." It took me years to put it back, it is really the case. "

Melody wishes to point out that she has no negative feelings towards Scherzinger or its founder, Robin Antin.

"People would think that I was so mad at Nicole because she sang and I did not do it – well no, that was her dream and it became a reality." I just wanted it for me too, I wanted the best for everyone, I'm a phenomenal singer, you've never heard it, but it's not Nicole's fault.

"There was an opportunity for her and she needed to capitalize on it. She had already been part of bands before Pussycat Dolls and the label asked her to sing leads. Every time I said, "If I could sing more, I would not be the weakest link." But that did not suit their agenda.

"Robin was in a really difficult position because she bore the name and was trying to make this law operational for 15 years.

"She will not compromise her chances for a little girl.

"Now, all the dolls are doing their own business and are doing very well, it's great, but it took me a long time to get up.

"It was very difficult to get back on my feet and to have the confidence to progress in my career."

Participating in Dancing on Ice is one of Melody's efforts to rebuild and make a new career in his own way.

She got high scores from the ITV show jury, impressing even notoriously public, scathing Jason Gardiner.

Nobody can criticize his hard work ethic. This week, Melody was infected with the flu as a result of terrible injuries caused by a bad fall last week.

But she resisted the comfort of the bed for the ice rink, where she feels frozen and where her partner, Alexander Demetrio, has run at full speed.

She says, "My arms are so weak that I can hardly lift them, my shoulders kill me, my elbows hurt and after my head has bounced on the ice, my face is still very painful to the touch. And I have the flu. But at least I did not break my jaw. And I just have to continue.

Working so hard leaves Melody, who has temporarily moved from Los Angeles, little time to socialize or to find a Briton so far.

"I am single and hope to meet me," she says. "But I'm so tired when I get home after training, I do not know where I'm going to meet someone." But I hope that I will do it.

"Maybe he will read this interview!

"I have the impression that the British are very chivalrous. The door is always held for me, which is charming. I do not know what else to say about the British, but I hope I can find out.

"I have to know a person and crack for the way he treats people and respects himself. There is a model who really has style, I think it's called David Gandy. No disrespect if he's out of the market, but he's handsome. "

But David's partner has nothing to fear, as Melody says: "I will never fight a woman for a man".

It is precisely for this reason that she is annoyed by rumors that she will secretly argue with Kim Kardashian about her past relationship with Kanye West.

Melody said, "I certainly knew Kanye even before meeting Kim. But they are happy and together and I am very happy for them.

"Kim and I just stopped talking. Honestly, that's all. Our lives have simply taken different directions.

"She is a mother and she is married. I started spending a lot of time in Europe and we just lost touch. That's what it is.

"It's like having friends in high school you never thought you could spend a day without them, but it happens. But I love him and wish him the best.

"Why do not I send him text messages? She probably does not have the same number. And I just believe in letting life roll. Life brings people together if they are supposed to be together.

"I'm sure she's fine without me and I'm fine without her."

• Dancing on Ice is on ITV Sunday at 18h.