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I volunteered
at an event for single mothers recently.
It was a beautiful evening organized by a local church to give single busy
Mom is taking a break from everyday life. A
the opportunity for them to do their hair and make-up, to prepare their dinner and
served to them and earn a lot of nice prizes while their kids enjoyed the food
and crafts at the free daycare below.
I was on
cooking duty helping to put food on the plates and start a conversation with one of the
the other volunteers. I asked him how
she became involved in this organization.
Without losing a beat, she explained that she had lost her son 2 years
there is a drug overdose and she wanted it to have a meaning. She did not know what that meant but looking
of answers, she found solace in this community because it was a place without
judgment. A place of compbadion,
support, vulnerability and imperfection.
My heart
stopped as I repressed my tears. Tears
for this beautiful woman and her loss and also tears of pain. As she spoke, all I could imagine was my 17 year old
elderly son who, a little less than two months ago, was fighting for his life
while he was lying in an induced comma, on a life support in a cold hospital bed.
It is ironic that May 31 marks the last day of Mental Health Awareness Month and my son is 18 years old. Only five months ago, we did not know if he would arrive here.
It was a cold Saturday morning in January, just after the holidays and just before clbades resumed on Monday. His older sister, my daughter, came into my son's room while his dog did not stop barking in front of his closed door (a miracle and a story all by himself). She found him lying on the floor with a very low pulse and barely audible breathing. She immediately started administering CPR and called 911.
I rushed to find her trying to keep her alive, she continued the cuts and we stayed in line with the 911 operator while waiting for what seemed like an eternity to the # 911 Arrival of the ambulance. With hardly a pulse, they took him to the hospital where he was examined. It was bad. He had taken an overdose and aspirated, which meant he had vomited during his unconscious state and the vomit had entered his lungs, causing bacterial pneumonia. He could not breathe alone, so he was put on life support while he was inducing a coma to give his body a chance to heal. We were told that the next 24 hours were critical. We spent the next four days in critical care and, in the end, unlike his son, we did not lose our precious child because of mental health problems that fueled his addiction.
Two of my
the children have suffered from depression and anxiety to varying degrees, each of them
face them in their own way. In his
In early adolescence, my son turned to drugs to numb the pain. Although we have crossed
a roller coaster of one lap during this time he attended the consultation, group
therapy and, finally, a five-month internal rehabilitation program for youth. These programs, especially young people
Rehabilitation program, provided excellent tools for dealing with addiction issues
and to combat future drug use, however, nothing has been done to tackle the root.
cause of the problem – mental health problems.
There are so many factors and variables that contribute to mental health issues today, including the world of social media in which we live. That being said, my son and I have had this conversation, and we both sincerely believe that as a society, if we advocate and get better education for our children, many of these mental health issues could be avoided. Not a school education, but a non-academic education, an education on developing the emotional intelligence of our children. IQ on IQ. There is too much emphasis on getting good grades and not enough on teaching our kids the social and emotional skills they need in life. We do not teach our children that perfection is a myth – that they are pretty good they are pretty bright, and are strong enough. When we focus on developing our children's self-esteem, self-esteem, and self-esteem, and teach them self-love, they stop believing that they are not Lean enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough or pretty. When we teach them to love each other for what they are, that they are unique and intelligent in their own way and that they have something to offer to the world, to offer themselves, to offer to society – this is that while they can really love each other, their lives and others. If our schools focused on the early development of their children's emotional intelligence and providing the tools they needed, our children would have no choice but to develop behaviors based on the belief that they have everything in them to succeed in life and that they are enough. This would certainly result in fewer cases and / or reduced anxiety levels, less depression, less addiction and less suicide.
This is one of the most difficult articles I have ever written. To share the most intimate details of my family's life and my son's personal struggle. Relive the desperation of almost losing my youngest child (this image – the image that will never leave me mind). The devouring feelings of shame, guilt, inadequacy and sorrow of not being able to protect my child from this pain of life. The fact that he has suffered so much in his last eighteen years.
I wrote this article for two reasons. One – hopefully, comfort other parents of children with mental health problems and let them know you are not alone. It is a long and difficult road, but being able to console yourself for not being alone is sometimes enough just to help you through the most difficult days. And second, educate society and help eliminate stigma related to mental health. The Canadian Mental Health Association estimates that 10% to 20% of youth suffer from mental health problems and that number continues to grow. I urge people to think before drawing erroneous conclusions the next time you meet a troubled young person. Have compbadion for the fact that they may just be trying to cope with life in the best way possible with the limited tools they have. Before judging our children and their parents, try to open your heart and mind to empathy. These problems are real and widespread, and they are likely to be closer to you than you think – within your own family, friends, and community. Help end the stigma and choose to be part of the solution.
#BreakTheStigma
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