Trevor Noah: where is Biden in the 2020 race? Too close to women | Culture

Trevor Noah

On Monday, in the Daily Show, Trevor Noah presented an update on the overcrowded Democratic presidential field, featured in numerous polls by former Vice President Joe Biden. Although he's still not officially in office, Biden has "broadcast probes to see where he stands, and apparently the answer is: too close to women," said Noah. He referred to a viral trial published this weekend in which Lucy Flores, former Nevada State Secretary, recounted how Biden was feeling uncomfortable at an event in feeling her hair and kissing the top of her head very slowly.

"It's really not okay, I mean, feeling the hair is still weird," Noah said of Flores' tale. "Honestly, feeling the hair is one of the scariest things you can do. It's on the list of scary things – just after picking up doll parts and sneezing with open eyes. "

The account of Biden's strange and often dreamlike behavior towards his uncle raised an important question for Noah: "What about the vice-presidents of the United States? None of them is normal. One guy smells women's hair, the other refuses to be near a woman without a chaperone, "he said about Mike Pence. "Is there not a common ground? There is no intermediate vice president? There is nowhere else between MeToo and Handmaid's Tale?

After Flores' trial, a second woman told another story of Biden's strange and inappropriate behavior with women, claiming that he had bitten her nose. And for critics who called Biden's story, again the uncle of America, Noah reprimanded: "Let me say it this way: if rubbing his nose was just that Biden was cute and was a harmless grandfather, why did you ever see him do it with men?

Biden's unofficial campaign may well be suspended as a result of this weekend's "sniff-kiss door". "And people panic, because if it did not show up, Democrats would only have 16 candidates to choose from, and only six of them would be white – an absolute disaster," he said. launched Noah.

Stephen Colbert

Clearly, President Trump came out of the drama of the Mueller report and, just in time for Spring Break, threatened to close the US border entirely with Mexico, said Stephen Colbert at the Late Show. In a "three-part epic political tweet" that asked Colbert to read aloud a bottle of water and a briefcase, the president explained that it was not rational to close the city border, saying that this would ultimately be a good thing for America.

Colbert had nothing. "Closing the border would not be a good thing," he said. "According to the American Chamber of Commerce, the United States and Mexico are negotiating about $ 1.7 billion worth of goods a day and this decision would threaten 5 million US jobs," which is why they called the situation "Total economic debacle".

"Thank you very much, I've always said, the US economy has too many – obstacles," said Colbert in the president's voice. "It's our job to solve the problem."

Trump is also preparing to cut aid to Central American countries such as Guatemala, El Salvador and Honduras – or, as stated in a false Fox News speech, "Trump cut aid to three Mexican countries ".

The error explained a lot, observed Colbert. "Now we know why Mexico has not paid for the wall – Trump has not asked any Mexican."

Seth Meyers

Seth Meyers discovered an eventful news cycle that had eluded Late Night's vacation last week – including the conclusion of Robert Mueller's special investigation. To recap briefly, Mueller handed over to Attorney General William Barr his final report, fruit of a two-year investigation into Russia's interference in the 2016 election. In turn, Barr has published a summary of the report that had allowed Trump to evade allegations of collusion, although he refused to rule on whether or not the president prevented justice.

The clearance of the collusion was "good news for Trump," Meyers recounted. "I'd say he's had a boost since, but he's not really doing it. If he had a Fitbit, the only thing his Fitbit would display is "You up?"

This week, however, Barr disputed what many described as his "summary," insisting that his four-page dissertation was not and was never intended to be a summary of Mueller's 300-page report. .

"Wait, so it was not supposed to be a summary? This is an important detail not to discuss, "said Meyers. "It's like reading the phrase" The prince and the princess lived happily ever after "in the fairy tale, then we turn the page and a note says:" It was not, and should not be wrongly interpreted as the end. They divorced the next day.

In addition, Meyers continued, "you can not reduce a 300-page document to four pages. It's as if you were trying to get tested by reading the notes of the Great Gatsby cliff, and then you end up writing: "A rich man enjoys a summer without consequences in the Hamptons."

In summary, concluded Meyers, "we have no idea of ​​the content of the report".