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CHER CAROLYN: "Becky" and I stayed with my brother "Dan" and his wife "Mae". Becky and I were recently married and it was her first time at my brother's home.
Later, she sent a thank you to Mae and gave her some useful tips about some lodging issues: nothing serious, just replace the bed mattress of the guest room, the siphon of the bath is slow and many people can do it. Do not eat high carbohydrate meals first thing in the morning. Becky would be welcome if someone did it for her and thought she was doing Mae a favor.
Mae is livid and has forbidden us to visit.
I would have liked Becky to check with me before sending the text, but Mae reacts excessively. We were really good guests – we only stayed for three days, we took everyone to meals, we did all the cleaning after a big meal and we always cleaned up after ourselves, so it was at best a minor discomfort.
I told Dan when I explained that Becky did not want to say anything, and now he's mad at me too. My mother lives with my brother and asked me to repair fences. Becky and I are therefore welcome. Where can I start fixing this mess?
outcast
DEAR PROHIBITED: Becky begins to fix it with abject and sincere excuses. Sensational.
And then, you really hope that's enough.
Mae may be reacting a little bit too hard – in her place, I would not have forbidden you (out of love for Dan) – but if you suggest that this says you still do not understand, how awful it was to be. send this review. And just for Mae, not Dan, as if she were the mistress of mattresses! Ugh Ugh Ugh.
Seriously. Maybe Becky "will sincerely welcome" the same thing, but it places her among the thickest people on the planet. It's fair or theoretical, and she never actually received a detailed list of her shortcomings that her co-facilitator did not receive.
I do not know how to tell you that differently. Becky just set fire to your relationship with your family and you and she must admit it out loud to your entire family before you start shooting as fast as you can.
CHER CAROLYN:
Re: Fallout
I'm not a kind of girl to "bead pearls", but wow. Tried literally to grab pearls that I do not wear. Being kind during the stay does not eliminate bad behavior after the fact.
Clutch Beads
CHER CAROLYN:
Re: Fallout
So you can not tell them that the tub is emptying slowly?
curious
DEAR CURIOUS: You can – right after you've noticed it.
CHER CAROLYN:
Re: Fallout
Maybe Becky comes from a Festivus family and grievance spreading is her love language? "I have a lot of problems with you!"
Anonymous
DEAR ANONYMOUS: You can stay.
CHER CAROLYN:
Re: Fallout
How do Mae and Dan know that their mattress needs help? Surely there is a way to say that kind of thing?
Help me
DEAR HELP: Everyone with a room needs to do an occasional sleep test. It's like that that they know.
CHER CAROLYN:
Re: Fallout
Since Becky is a fan of constructive criticism, she should be grateful to Mae for so kindly pointing out how she was a fool. It's for his good!
S.
DEAR .: Winner.
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Send an email to Carolyn at [email protected], follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon, ETH. East, every Friday on www.washingtonpost.com. (c) 2019, Washington Post Writers Group
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