Hi everyone, Mr. Goxx, the crypto-trading hamster that kills him


A hamster, not Goxx.

A hamster, not Goxx.
Photo: FREDERICK FLORIN / AFP (Getty Images)

Meet the social media sensation taking the crypto trading world by storm: His name is “Mr. Goxx” and he’s a hamster from Germany. You can stream your trades on Twitch.

Named after Mount Gox—The famous Bitcoin exchange which closed in 2014 after a declared $ 460 million assets are gone – the hamster caused a stir in the investment world, largely with the help of its “human business partner”. Said anonymous pet owner facilitated much of the hamster’s rise to fame and fortune and presumably operates all of his social media accounts. “The world’s first crypto asset trading hamster! »The Twitter account of the beast proudly proclaims. It also provides regular updates on the state of its financial activity.

You are probably wondering how a hamster trades. According to to a video on his YouTube account, everything works like this: Goxx occasionally walks into his “office” (also known as the “Goxx box”), which is filled with a hamster wheel (nicknamed the “intention wheel”) and two separate tunnels, labeled “buy” and “sell” respectively. Running on the wheel initiates a transaction: an automated, rotating Rolodex of 30 different cryptocurrencies is linked to the movement of the wheel (Bitcoin, Ethereum, and other important coins are included). Once Goxx is off the wheel, whatever tunnel it goes through, it then initiates a “buy” or “sell” position on that particular token.

All this setup apparently brought big gains to the little rodent. Really, reports show that Goxx outperformed Warren Buffet, the NASDAQ 100 and the S&P 500 – with his portfolio up to about 20 percent since he started trading in June. True, he moved a much smaller amount of capital (his account holdings would have grown from the euro equivalent of $ 381 at $ 498) … but stay! Here we go, buddy.

Since bursting onto the scene several months ago, Goxx has quickly become a worldwide sensation. The little furry trader recently did on a CNBC segment and was also written by people like NPR, BBC, Vice, and other electrical outlets worldwide.

Of course, on his Reddit page, the Goxx account kindly reminds people that this is all just for fun and that you shouldn’t really turn to a little rodent for financial advice, even if they’re on TV:

The stream and all associated messages are for entertainment purposes only. The investments presented here are not financial advice. Do not make financial decisions based on the transactions or data displayed here.

Yes, don’t be fooled by investment clues from a former Resident of Petco: a good lesson in life for all of us. That said, it would be great if Mad Money replaced Jim cramer with a hamster? Just a thought.

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