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Morgan Wallen posted a video apology on his Instagram account, claiming the reason for the delay was that he first wanted to make a personal apology and meet with black leaders before giving details of the quick mea culpa he issued when the scandal over his racial insult was breaking up eight days ago.
“I decided to leave the grid for a little while and get used to making good decisions,” he said in the statement. “Who knows if I’ll be able to live with all the mistakes I’ve made, but I will definitely try. I will spend time taking back control of… living healthy and being proud of my actions.
“Finally, I have a favor to ask,” he said. “I appreciate those who still see something in me and who stood up for me. But for today, don’t. I was wrong. It is up to me to take possession of it and I fully accept all the sanctions I am facing. When I return is entirely up to me and the work I do. I still have a lot of very good people in my area trying to help me and I appreciate you more than you think. This whole situation is ugly right now, but I’m going to keep looking for ways to be the example instead of one.
Wallen said that when he first apologized for TMZ, knowing the site was about to post the video of him telling the N word to his friends, the combination of the rush and the cut didn’t hasn’t done much favor.
“I was made aware of the video’s publication on TMZ with barely time to think about it before it was made public,” he says. “I was asked if I wanted to apologize, and of course I did. I wrote many detailed thoughts, and only a part of it was used, which painted me in an even more carefree light. Hope I am here to show you that is not the truth.
In addition to appearing to blame TMZ for cutting short his initial apologies, Wallen does not outwardly blame any of his actions.
“The video you saw was me at the 72nd hour of a 72 hour bender, and that’s not something I’m proud of,” he says.
One thing he says he doesn’t want to do is go on a half-hearted apology tour.
“Obviously the natural thing to do is apologize more and keep apologizing – but because you got caught, and that’s not what I wanted to do. I let down so many people. … I let my parents down, and they’re the furthest thing from the person in this video. And I let my son down, and I don’t agree with that. So this week I was waiting to say something more until I had the chance to apologize to my loved ones who I knew I had personally hurt.
While it is not known so far whether Wallen accepted offers from the Nashville NAACP or BeBe Winans to meet with him, Wallen now says he has met with black leaders, although he did not quote no name or organization.
He says he “has accepted invitations from some amazing black organizations, executives and leaders to engage in very real and honest conversations. I admit I was nervous enough to accept these invitations from the very people I hurt, and they had every right to walk on my neck while I was on the ground, to show me no grace. But they did the exact opposite; they offered me grace. And they also associated that with an offer of learning and growth.
“And one thing I’ve already learned is that I’m particularly sorry is that it matters – my words do.” These words can really hurt a person, and in my heart, that’s not what suits me. This week, I have heard personal stories of black people with my own eyes that really rocked me. And I know what I’m going through this week doesn’t even compare to some of the lawsuits I’ve heard from them. I came away from these discussions with a deep appreciation for them and a clearer understanding of the weight of my words. I wish the circumstances were different for me to learn these things, but I’m also glad that this started the process for me to do it.
The country star says he’s been sober since the night the video came to light – and acknowledges that may not mean much to the scale of things just yet.
“I hope to end this update on a more positive note,” he said. “Since this video was taken I’ve been sober for nine days. It’s not that long, but you just have to know that the man in this video is not the man I’m trying to be. . I’ve had this week to reflect on the times when I’m sober and I’m really proud of who I am and my actions for the most part in those times. When I look at the times when I’m not, it’s where the majority of my mistakes are made.
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