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The other day, I was walking around my favorite bookstore in town when I came across this monstrous creature – a sparkling display of candy hearts, teddy bears, and candles in shades of light. original pink, red and fuchsia. was starting to throw me enough to look for the context when it came to my mind. We are in February; the month of the worldwide celebration of love because of this day in the middle.
I'm not very big on Valentine's Day. I see red every time I see a heart of red foam blocking an otherwise pleasant storefront. It's not that I do not like the idea of a day devoted to "love". But foam hearts are not just decoration. They are an invitation in a world of foul romance and endings of Cinderella and it's not inclusive. Most of these pastel shindigs are meant for couples only.
Fighter myself with these annual bouts of love, I've started to notice a trend in the way that singles like me treat Valentine's Day and it's exactly like the five stages of mourning. I like to call it the 5 steps of always alone. If, like me, you face another Solo Valentine, here is your Bible.
Denial
Start with denial. You can simply say that you do not adhere to the "Valentine's Day concept". Some good arguments to support you at this point are: "Valentine's Day is for the greedy", or "It's just another way for large companies to withdraw money from lost people ". And of course, the clbadic "I hate the idea of spending only one day to love. I love "love" every day. You reject the pastel roses and do not make plans for the 14th [] because it's one more day, right? Why make plans? You consider yourself better after saving all this money and even manage to feel a little superior to all those depraved love rabbits who make dinner reservations or who plan surprise gifts. But as the day approaches, these learned discussions soon give way to a more concrete feeling.
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Anger
You can no longer deny it. It is there, described as a "couple discount" on the doors of every restaurant and bar you go to. The newspapers are also full of shouting "The perfect gift for your Valentine's Day", selling you watches in pairs and offering exceptional offers on movie tickets, diamonds and other items considered precious by the lovebirds. Your couple friends are buzzing with plans and many singles have left the ship to find an emergency date. The flower shops have gone into hyper-drive mode and the smell of roses and FOMO is unbearable. You act by accusing roadside decorations of causing traffic jams. You are unleashed on social media against companies that abuse the day to sell jewelry and view online forms of right-wing organizations that fight against the corruption of Indian culture by the West. You temporarily block all the friends of your couple to avoid finding yourself in a situation of desperate paranoia and promise to be single for life. You give in to mush-fest – you are one of them now. You are desperately trying to prepare a last-minute plan with that friend's friend you've been thinking about for so long, but you've never asked to go out. It turns out that they already have plans and you curse you to wait until the last minute (and you cry a little in the bathroom, because the rejection is difficult and it is correct). You are looking for song lists on things that singles can do on Valentine's Day and decide to make this year a story of love for yourself. Some stores earn a little money while you end up shopping pity to raise your morale, but you realize that you eventually give in to corporate propaganda even without celebrating the V day. You are planning a Lonely party Hearts with all your single friends and tell them that you want to read an angry feminist prose to crush the patriarchy. You are marking an article about a person in the UK who is getting married to fight the overwhelming pressure of looking for love. May be next year. Or maybe Tinder?
The Depression
It's a day before the V Day and you're at the bottom with your socks. Your will to live is at best DOA and watching Mary Kondo in a frenzy, cleaning the cluttered homes of people wasted by Netflix, is all that keeps you going. With the Internet flood with #love and #togetherforever, social media do not offer respite. Memes cut like knives. The quick review of the ex-plane that flies to Mauritius with its new fantasy probably will not help, but at least you have the closure (over there, you'll get there). It's probably the right time to call your family and tell them you love them because, Maa sab samajhti hai . And Bollywood has a rich repertoire of songs that make you heartache, so you can probably use those expensive speakers that you bought on your birthday and feel the depth of your loneliness. You conclude, you conclude that Zomato is better than Tinder.
Acceptance
And as every year, the day comes. And you survive it. You feel bittersweet when you buy yourself a rose from the store outside of work (Yeah, you still have to go to work the V Day, thank goodness, Bollywood has made sure to badociate Valentine's Day with roses ). You call friends, those who have no plans anyway, and you prepare a scene. Or you find a white boiler of a series to watch in a frenzy. It's also a good time to catch up with your grandmother or paternal uncle who insists that he wants to be "hanged". Do you have good food or perhaps a good meal? Maybe go to a homeless shelter and give some old clothes. Sort your taxes, end the blog you wanted to write. Once you accept the fact that it's Valentine's Day and that you are single and that it suits you, the possibilities open up quite widely. It must not be a humiliating experience, you know. It does not have to be two people. The beauty of love is that it can be found in just about anything. Descend into your ravine listening to songs by Gully Boy, judiciously released on 14 e and find a bedding to cuddle. If you make fun of yourself, the hospital is probably the only place where there is no Valentine's Day decoration, it's a win-win!
At the end of the day, hope is reborn. Do not forget that what does not kill you makes you forget that until next time.
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