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Since Leaving Neverland – the disturbing documentary about Michael Jackson and the nature of his relationship with two young boys – aired, many Jackson fans have said they could not believe their idol would commit the abuses alleged by now adult men.
But others looked with horror at the stories told of the 1980s and 1990s. Viewers asked: how could that have happened? How did parents let their children end up in seemingly dangerous situations? And why were not the red flags raised at the time?
I will not speculate on the accuracy or otherwise of the stories of the two men. But, whether they are true or not, they raise important questions that we need to better understand if we want to prevent abuse.
Historically, as a society, we had great difficulty believing the allegations or recognizing the possible signs of badual activity involving children. there are abuses. Several theoretical explanations have been proposed on this subject, including our need to believe in a just world where this kind of thing is not done between adults and children. Fair global beliefs encourage us to abide by the rules and regulations of our communities because we believe that this will be rewarded by a safe and orderly existence for us and our families. So we have trouble understanding that bad things happen to those who do not deserve it.
There are several misconceptions about child badual abuse that may make it difficult to believe the charges made. These include the belief that bad offenders are violent and scary monsters for children. We also tend to believe that parents would know if their child was a victim of badual badault or would immediately inform someone and that they would express fear with respect to the child. ;author. It is also common – and often wrongly – to think that a child's statements about abuse experiences would remain consistent over time.
"Best Friends", not "monsters"
Child molesters as monsters who intimidate and scare the children they feed on. However, even if there are different types of offenders, many of them may have access to children and gain their trust because of their ability to attract them and to establish emotional and social links with them. These offenders will turn to children who are shy, withdrawn, isolated or rejected by their peers. They work to create an emotional bond with the child by becoming their "best friend" and making them feel "special".
In this way, the child becomes emotionally dependent on the author. The addiction is also fueled by the isolation of the other child. This grooming process can take between hours and months and the badual element is often introduced gradually by numbing the child to touch by hugs, rough games or tickling. Rarely, badual badault against children involves acts of violence or threats of harm (threats made tend to have an impact on the consequences of their relationship if they are "discovered").
When the perpetrators have no legitimate reason to be unattendedly monitored access to a desired child or a child who is so young that he / she has little autonomy outside the family, the motivated offender will also marry the parents of the child. Indeed, it has been reported that the child's parents are often cared for before this one.
The abuser will have fun with the parents, giving them little favors and creating an emotional bond with them. It may be as simple as offering child care to give parents a well deserved rest. The link is created by sharing personal information, especially that which means a vulnerability. Their involvement in the family becomes natural, normal and highly appreciated. Some will be considered the savior of the family.
This means that parents' natural guard against "strangers" around their children will be lowered or even abandoned. Any suspicions that may arise from this will be automatically dispelled or explained, as they would become incapable of understanding how such a wonderful person could indulge in such an odious thing.
Why not say it? [19659002] Very few children disclose badual abuse when it occurs. In case of disclosure, this is usually where the abuse is a punctual incident committed by a stranger involved in grooming. Therefore, abuse is more easily equated with unwanted aggression on the part of the child and other persons to whom the child is revealed.
Non-disclosure may be be motivated for many reasons. One of the reasons reported in retrospect by adults who were abused in their childhood is that they did not know that what was happening was wrong. Some children even feel hurt by the perceived rejection when the abuse ends. Many only realize that their experience was an abuse when they entered adulthood and that they can see the relationship in a new light. This awareness, which can be seen as a betrayal of trust, can result in delayed trauma due to abuse that only manifests itself in adulthood.
Despite the new awareness of the abusive nature of the relationship, it is not unusual for adult survivors of a child. badual abuse to report always feeling a conflictual love for the author. This has been equated with the "Stockholm Syndrome", which was discovered during hostages, where a deep and immutable connection is established with the author. There can therefore be permanent reluctance and a sense of guilt for denouncing abuse. Sometimes statements are withdrawn as a result. This effect has been badociated with a phenomenon known as "housing syndrome for child badual abuse".
As I said, we are not dealing here with any particular case. But, in my experience, the alleged horrors detailed in Leaving Neverland – and Michael Jackson's family deny that this has ever happened – seem to conform to the problems I've discussed. It is clear that the trauma caused by such experiences can take decades and can last a lifetime.
Nadia Wager, Judicial Psychology Scientist, University of Huddersfield
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
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