[ad_1]
–
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were married less than a year ago, but the languages already speak of their alleged marital dispute. A royal commentator says that the American actress is a "pretty tough person" who makes her royal husband "miserable and moody."
I hope that the rumors of misfortune are not true, but if they are, perhaps, transcultural misunderstandings are the problem. It is not easy to be a woman of color in the world's whitest family perhaps.
Fifty years ago, only 3% of marriages were intercultural. Now this number has exploded. Yet while it is encouraging to see that "love is love," "Love is everything you need" is not entirely true. Tact, empathy and patience are the essential ingredients of romantic success.
Markle must give birth to the couple's first child each day. My baby gift to Prince Harry is an intercultural relationship advice: from man to man, from WASP to WASP, ginger to ginger. As a white man who frequented a mosaic of patrimonies, I made countless mistakes and learned that one insane misstep could destroy a relationship.
If I could talk about "His Royal Naughtiness" (as Diana liked to call her youngest son), I would say, "Harry, here are some tips to remember for the Duchess of Susbad to not make you sleep in the polo stables. "
1. Do not badume that you know his career just because you know his race. Derrick, born in New York, and I myself met at the gym, united by a pbadion for running and dumbbells.After we started seeing each other at dinner, my African-American date and I started telling stories about our childhood "I grew up eating fried squirrels, green cabbage and tote bag," I said, explaining that my father was born into a poor family of sharecroppers in rural Arkansas. "Do you also like traditional dishes?", I asked.
"Mother was a Wilhelmina model," Derrick replied. He took a sip of water and let out a sigh. "Dad worked on Wall Street." We never had another appointment.
Lesson: Make no badumptions, especially about the experiences of Meghan's life or that of his African-American family. Rather than falling back into easy stereotypes, lead with curiosity by asking open-ended questions such as "Tell me about your favorite dishes".
2. It's not because you're married to Meghan that you're an "African-American". At a Shabbat dinner where most of the guests, including my fiance Eddie, were Jewish, I said lightly: betrothed to a nice Jewish boy, I guess that makes me an honorary member of the "chosen people".
The others exchanged glances. "Um. No, joked our impertinent friend Judy. "You look like a Nazi."
Eddie joined him. "Furthermore, in the 6,000 years since God spoke to Abraham, there has never been a single Jew called" Courtland "."
Lesson: Traditionally oppressed groups do not find it funny when an Anglo-Saxon man claims membership after centuries of persecution and suffering. Harry, this is especially true for a guy whose ancestors once owned a huge band of Africa and who were the ones who practiced the persecution. Recognize that the fight is real. Be an ally, but if the word "honorary" is ever pronounced, let it be said of you and not of you.
3. Meanings can be lost in translation, even in the same language. After a few months of relationship, Augusto, born in Cuba, and I exchanged a good night's kiss before jumping into a taxi. "¡Adiós, gordito!", He says, which in his mother tongue literally means "Good bye, fat!". Fluent in Spanish, I understood her words perfectly and I started to boil during the taxi ride through the city.
Once at home, I called my boyfriend. "How dare you!" I say separating myself.
The next day, Augusto brought me a dozen roses as an excuse. "It's a term of tenderness. I call my mother 'gorda' all the time, "he said.
"It's not because you're rude to your mother that I'm going to let you be rude," I replied. Later, my friend Rosa, Cubana, told me that Augusto was right. Some Latinx people use this word in the same way that my friends and family in the South call themselves "honey". I tried to apologize to Augusto, but the damage was done.
Lesson: The language is complicated. "Fat" and "phat" mean very different things, and the differences in American English and British mean that when Meghan asks you to put on a "pants" because you have 15 minutes before dinner with the queen, she will talk about " pants, "No" underwear. "Opportunities for confusion – and fights – abound, breathe, ask for clarification, and if in doubt, contact a neutral party for a" translation. "Then you'll laugh together. Long Live the Difference !
4. Be careful when she wants to share her culture. Simon was born in Hong Kong but moved to California while he was there. was a teenager.He and I had been going out for a few months and were getting close.When he suggested watching his favorite movie, In the Mood for Love, on one of our nights' Netflix and Chill ", I thought," It's going too much you." I've suggested another movie, knowing that it's not going to happen. d acquiescence.
One night at Simon's, he had his beloved film ready. I stiffened. But, at the beginning of the credits, he explained that the original Chinese title meant "the age of the flowers". I relaxed. It was not a declaration of eternal affection.
As we sat side by side on his couch, Simon often stopped the picture, his voice full of nostalgia as he pointed to landmarks in his hometown. He made his own translations highlighting the nuances and double meanings missing in the subtitles. I loved the movie – and his comments made me think that I had visited a place I had never been to.
Lesson: Art is a bridge between people. Ask Meghan – and even her mother – to share favorite literature, art and music. This will demonstrate that you want to know more about their world view. If you already know one, ask yourself why he is touching your wife. You will learn more about her, which will help your love to become stronger.
–
What do you think about what you just read? Comment below or write an answer and submit your own point of view or reaction here in the red box below, which refers to our submissions portal.
♦ ◊
Sign up to our email Invite to write to receive inspiration for your writing twice by week in your inbox.
Photo: Shutterstock
[ad_2]
Source link
