Being single on Valentine's Day

As the single population grows each year and many live a happy and fulfilling life, a gradual change takes place the idea that Valentine's Day is a torture for people decoupled.

But February 14 remains a minefield of platitude for many. Bella DePaulo, social psychologist, sees her inbox filling up from year to year with clichés and stereotypes about how to deal with Valentine's Day as an individual without being a close relation.

Author of Singled Out: How Unmarried Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized and Ignored and Still Live Happy and a project scientist from the University of California at Santa Barbara, Dr. DePaulo s 39; offusque of the idea of ​​f .14 being a "day of torture" for those who do not have a loving partner.

"More and more singles are enlightened by Valentine's Day and happy with their single life;

She is, however, delighted to see this attitude evolve gradually, with more and more people feeling comfortable with their single life and the opportunities that come with it.

But their increasing numbers and importance remain unrecognized, Dr. DePaulo said. The 2016 Canadian Census found that for the first time, one-person households were the dominant household type in this country, with 28.2% of Canadians living as such. In addition, 9% of Canadian households are lone-parent families.

"They must be taken seriously," Dr. DePaulo said in an e-mail interview, citing both political and cultural badumptions. "This means that stereotypes, stigma and discrimination (which I call singlism) must stop. Singles must be respected. "

Married people enjoy discrimination against singles that ranges from financial benefits, such as tax breaks, to benefits, such as travel offers," she says.

The problem has been the long-standing mythology surrounding marriage and the search for a happy life forever.

Clare Payne, author of A: Valoriser la vie en célibataire states that there is still a demographic link. towards single people and singles, the cultural narrative still seems to be articulated around the traditional adult stages of leaving the childhood home, getting married and having children.

However, with respect to the contribution to society, the opposite may actually be true. While married people in families tend to focus on their own household, single people are more likely to contribute to the society in which they live, she says. In the United States, for example, single people do more volunteer work than coupled people, she adds.

"These are actually big contributors, which is one of the myths of their lives," Ms. Payne said. "People think that [being single] is a selfish life, where they are actually the backbone of many families, organizing family reunions, taking care of their parents, etc."

The Tired picture that singles are irresponsible The notion of leadership is also risky and socially sensitive.

"In the business world, over 90% of general managers are married," she says. "Even with our world leaders. Very few are single and very few children do not have children and there is some kind of bias as to the appearance of a leader and that is. is a married person with children. "

In Australia, where Mrs. Payne resides, New South Wales' premier, Gladys Berejiklian, is a single woman without children and never married, when she took office, two years ago, the media asked her one of the first questions: how could she understand families.

"I think, well, how come they n & # 39; "Did not tell another politician," How can you understand that a quarter of your adult electorate is single … how are you going to understand it because you are married, "Ms. Payne said. "You Do not Understand the Reverse."

Society may be starting to adjust to the predominance of single adults, for example, Regarding hosting, for example, the recent incursion of the WeWork workspace provider in the apartments gave birth to WeLive, a community of micro-apartments located in New York and Washington.

Elyakim Kislev, author of Happy Singlehood: The Growing Acceptance and Celebration of Solo Life interviewed 142 people around the world for his book. Mr. Kislev, an badistant professor at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, said that if we were to build a more connected society, we should pay attention to the single population, not to the married population.

"We have a study that followed people from the 80s to the 2000s and this research showed that married people became more isolated during this 20-year period. and singles have become more adept at creating social networks. "

He says that companies such as WeLive defend the kind of ideas and communities that will continue to grow, especially in urban areas.

" People want to be single. in this world and they are growing up and doing it all over the world, "he says.

In fact, he and Dr. DePaulo suggest that we begin to prepare children for the opportunity to lead a unique life choice. [19659035] History Continues Below Advertising