How guilty are parents? – Rolling stone



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Warning: This piece contains annotations for those of Netflix removed from sight and HBO Leaving Neverland.

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A moment ago towards the end of [19659004] Removed from all angles, Netflix's documentary on Jan's repeated kidnapping and rape Broberg, then 12 years old, when Jan's father, Bob Broberg, explains how his family managed to cope with the trauma. "I think we did some things right among the mistakes," he says. "We liked Jan and that made all the difference."

The moment is dark because if you know something about Removed in the open air, I know that the Broberg family has made many mistakes : Not only did they not notice the warning signs of Bob Berchtold's obsession for Jan, but they let him sleep in his bed and travel alone with him, even after abducting her. for the first time. In fact, one of the most amazing revelations of the film is that the Brobergs were so deeply under the weight of Berchtolt that they both separately started bad with him, which he would later use as a means of having access to Jan.

But Voluntary Ignorance Broberg's naivety is hardly comparable to that of Joy Robson and Stephanie Safechuck, the two mothers whose sons, Wade and Jimmy, recount their alleged badual badault at the hands of Michael Jackson in the US. two-part documentary Leaving Neverland. In the first half of the series, Reed painstakingly describes how Jackson gained the trust of parents, giving them gifts, first-clbad airline tickets and even a home, to allow their youngsters son to have access to their children.

Like the Brobergs, Joy and Stephanie are portrayed as hopelessly gullible, ignoring the red flag after the red flag in order to continue enjoying the spoils of Jackson's wealth and fame. Throughout the film, they tell of increasingly serious acts of parental neglect, decisions unthinkable for most parents, whatever their context. At one point, Wade tells how the Robson's left him at Jacksonland for five days at the Neverland Ranch while they were camping in the Grand Canyon. Wade was 7 years old at the time and had just met Jackson. "I've screwed up, I have not managed to protect him," says Stephanie flatly, and it's hard for the viewer not to shout back, "Yeah, I'm not kidding." [19659012] In our hyper-moralising culture, it's easy for us to make verdicts on the actions of other parents, play the role of commission chair and point to Robson and Safechuck for delivering their children directly. in the hands of a predator.It is easy to regard them as stupid at best and, at worst, as cynical opportunists seeking their sons in exchange for access to wealth and fame. we can never know the truth about what is happening in the heart of someone, the film presents arguments in favor of these two interpretations, favoring the first rather than the second. [19659002] Some interpreted Leaving Neve rland and thus removed thus, arguing that the parents of the victims of Jackson are justly guilty. like Jackson perpetuating the abuse. And to a certain extent, Robson and Safechuck seem to share this point of view: as Safechuck says, he never completely forgave his mother for allowing the violence to continue. "Forgiveness is not a line you cross, it's a road you take," he said at the Sundance Festival earlier this year.

The fact that this is said is very, very amazing. Apparently, there are parents who are not fit to be, including the mothers of Wade Robson and James Safechuck #LeavingNeverland https://t.co/9lCmoie01s[19659002¹-RachelWalker(@raaachelanne) March 4, 2019

who would leave a seven year old boy – yes, seven years old with an adult man – makes no sense to me as a mother –

– ROSIE (@Rosie) March 4, 2019

Yet Leaving Neverland and removed we can see fewer accusations of misconduct than condemn the cultural mechanisms that allow the individual power of the personality to remain uncontrolled. Even though Jackson was a pop superstar hailed as a music genius, and Berchtold, a small town salesman and a five-child Mormon father, both were, in every way, men who knew exactly how to use their charisma as a weapon. both were highly qualified to disarm and seduce adults (in the case of Berchtold, literally) to gain access to their children. "We gave an artist carte blanche to live as he wanted because music was more important to us than stories of what could happen behind the scenes," Jenkins wrote in Vulture. "No one deserves as much power."

This power is not limited to mega-celebrities like Jackson; it is shared by all serial abusers, who are allowed to let their horrific deeds go unnoticed simply because there is something about them – be it wealth, money, beauty or simply plain sympathy – which is compelling enough to escape even the most responsible and attention of a sober adult.

The process of preparing a child for abuse is often aimed as much at preparing the adult to create the space needed for such abuse to occur, which does not occur. is nowhere more pronounced than in Neverland . ] and removed. While Bob Berchtold focused on Brobergs' cheerful naivety and gay badual innocence, Jackson was apparently sophisticated enough as a predator to spot a certain star-go-go-go quality in Joy Robson and Stephanie Safechuck, one that he (correctly) suspected would become even more pronounced with the growing proximity of wealth and fame. We can say everything we want. Because Robson and Safechuck were the parents, they should know better, but parenting itself does not make you smarter and more emotionally sophisticated; it does not automatically give you the skills and mental acumen to protect you and your family from danger. Yes, parents should know better, but as anyone who has been raised by an absent or unstable parent can attest, this is not always the case.

In addition, Leaving Neverland does not prove that the Safechucks and Robsons simply dropped their children at Michael Jackson's door and let him do whatever he wanted with them. With both families, Jackson made a concerted effort to prove he was not a threat before becoming one. With the Safechucks, who had not initially allowed their son to sleep in Jackson's bed, Jackson made no progress until he allowed his son to tour with him; In the same vein, the Robson did not allow Wade to sleep alone with Jackson before spending the night with his sister Chantal. Although Jackson's supporters have long argued that he was simply too impious and childish to know that his behavior with children would be considered inappropriate, Leaving Neverland makes an extremely powerful argument: not been the case; he knew exactly what he was doing and he spent years perfecting his methodology to do it right.

I feel bad for Wade Robson AND his siblings. His brother throws bombs of truth. "Idc who's a guy; how do you leave your child aged 7/8 to spend the night at home? I mean, as a parent, I do not even understand how this is possible. "
Shane Robson #LeavingNeverland

– Shennanigator (@Shennanigator) March 4, 2019 [19659035] At some point, parents are the facilitators and at least partially responsible for the events horrible things that happened #LeavingNeverland

– Andrew Kozak (@AndrewKozakTV) March 4, 2019

One of the most troubling aspects of Leaving Neverland is so that Reed pretends to be an abused child, like the slippery slopes, with every apparently innocuous decision taken by the parents (allowing Jackson to come for supervised visits, for example, accept tickets first clbad to visit him, writing his cultural fascination for young boys as an idiosyncrasy of celebrity) giving way to a more questionable and ultimately dangerous solution (allowing Jackson to sleep r in the same bed). Initially, the parental permissiveness seems quite justifiable, even haunting: of course, you would let your child go behind the scenes to meet the biggest pop star of the world; Of course, you would accept his offer to transform your son by aspiring dancer into a star.

Hear Stephanie and Joy describe these early days of Jackson's grooming – a "fairy tale" as a "dream come true" – it's easy for the public to get caught in the trap of the Safechucks must have felt at the time they befriended Jackson: as if they had won the jackpot. So why would they begin to question the motives of this extremely famous, lonely, childish and seemingly ruthless man? Why not accept this as a stroke of luck, a respite from the sadness and chaos of parenting, and take everything as it should?

As a parent myself, after watching the first part of Neverland, I began to ask myself under what circumstances would I have made the same decisions as those Safechucks and Robsons? And if there was a chaperone in the room during the night? What would happen if the celebrity in question had been a crazy, non-threatening idiot, like Tom Hanks or Chris Pratt, and not one of the most famous quirks in the world to have an Elephant Man skeleton? As I began to ask myself these questions and to try to justify my decisions, I realized the truth: under the right circumstances, any parent would have made the same choices as these parents, because few of them we are really insensitive to life. attractiveness of money and celebrity and the ease and magical appeal of a mysterious stranger posing to make your problems disappear.

It is easy to judge Robsons, Safechucks and Brobergs, but it is also easy to judge any parent to whom a horror or tragedy has occurred; otherwise, our brain simply can not understand, can not understand the magnitude of the injustices of the universe. Otherwise, we could come across the truth: it could just as easily happen to our children.

It is therefore better not to judge the parents for the mistakes they made. Better to take a lesson from children who, in both films, demonstrate a tremendous capacity for empathy. Jan Bromberg spoke openly about how her parents' love had helped her recover from her years of badual abuse, calling them victims of Berchtold's manipulation; while Robson and Safechuck do not treat their mother so gently – "every night I was with him, there was abuse while my mother was – you know – next to it," Robson said at one point – their understanding of their parents' actions far outweighs their resentment.

At the end of the day, Robson and Safechucks must live with the certainty that they took their children directly to the lions' den – and that, no doubt, is no longer a punishment in itself claims that they directly invited the abuse or took advantage of it. More than 25 years after the alleged events, they can be a little rebadured to know that they are protecting them now, just by appearing in the documentary and redeeming their sins under the eyes. In this sense, the mere fact of being there can be one of the few good things among the mistakes.

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