Gading and Gisel want to divorce, why do many people join broken hearts?

KOMPAS.com – Even ten days later (19/11/2018), Gisella Anastasia brought a divorce suit before Gading Marten in South Jakarta District Court. This news immediately shocked many parties and made Warganet feel a broken heart.

This is not the first mbad grief felt by fans for separating personalities.

If you remember it again, Angelina Jolie was able to turn the world around in 2016 after her decision to divorce Brad Pitt. Earlier this year, Veronica Tan's divorce with Basuki Tjahaja Purnama aka Ahok also broke her heart.

From the psychologist's point of view, Warganet's reaction to the famous partner separation mentioned above is very understandable, which is clear evidence of parasocial interactions.

Read also: Why are there many people who are heartbroken by the divorce that claims Ahok-Veronica?

"I'm pretty sure Warganet is heartbroken because they have parasocial relationships, but do not know it," said Anna Surti Ariani, a family psychologist. Kompas.com by short message Thursday (29.11.2018).

What are parasocial relations?

Anna Surti Ariani or Nina, colloquially called, said that the parasocial relations could not be separated from the influence of the media, both on television, on the radio and on social media.

When public figures appear in various media, many people feel involved in their personal lives and feel really close and familiar with the character.

However, these personalities or public figures do not know Warganet who continue to observe their activities.

"It means that the relationships that are intertwined are one-way relationships, not real relationships parasocial interaction alias parasocial interaction, "explained Nina.

Nina continued, those who were not fully aware of being involved in parasocial interactions might have more sympathy for public figures.

"Some studies even confirm that people involved in parasocial relationships can change their behavior, for example by choosing objects that they do not actually choose simply because their favorite characters choose it," Nina said.

He continued, another example, they could form a community of fans of these characters and do things that might be different from what they could do without communities.

How are parasocial interactions created?

Along with the development of social media, celebrities or public figures often share their daily lives, including even very intimate experiences such as getting a surprise for their birthday while sleeping or not wearing. makeup

"The more fans spend time watching social media personalities, the more familiar they are, the more familiar they are, especially if the character gives them an opportunity to interact," Nina explained.

Although Personal Growth Clinical Psychologist Laurentius Sandi Witarso has added, there are some things that can trigger parasitic interactions.

Firstpeople who are directly lacking in social relationships and have low self-esteem will have difficulty communicating with others.

"They will choose to watch characters on television and make them a fake friend," Sandi told Kompas.com.

Secondly, viewers who think they have the same personality or appearance as a character tend to always follow the activities of their idols.

Third, realizations of figures.

"The higher the character's performance, the more the audience will idolize it.The audience will increasingly identify as close as possible to the character's achievements," Sandi said.

Read also: Jonghyun SHINee, K-Pop World and How to torture him like an idol

Is this behavior normal?

Studies that study parasocial relations have only happened in recent years, when television began to dominate people's lives.

"Studies conducted since the 2000s have explored social media-related social-social relations, and many have experimented with it," he said.

But if asked whether this behavior is normal or not, the answer depends.

Normal behavior or not is characterized by 4D, that is to say Deviance, Dysfunction, Distress, and Danger

1. Deviance

Deviance is related to the number of people who experience this behavior.

If most people do not experience parasocial relationships, those who have one are called devian and may be qualified as abnormal.

Devian also means if it is consistent with the dominant culture.

"In Indonesian culture, it is important to have proximity to idolized people, the parasocial relationships are normal, but if it is not the case, it will be abnormal," he explained. .

2. Malfunction

Whether individuals can perform daily activities normally or not.

"If, because of the idol of someone and his departure from school or work, it means that it becomes a dysfunction of work or school. which means abnormal, "explained Nina.

3. distress

Is the person experiencing negative stress or not? In psychology, there is a positive stress, his name eustresse.

For example, if because the idol wants to divorce, we become anxious, unable to think, remain tense, easily angry, etc., then this parasocial relationship becomes abnormal.

Read also: Divorce vulnerable to health problems

4. Danger

Does the individual behave in a way that endangers him or threatens others for this reason?

For example, if the idol wants to divorce, he immediately strikes the street without realizing that the truck behind is at top speed, so it's unnatural.