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Some mothers are true forces of nature. One of them is Annarita Adduci psychologist and psychotherapist, who recently presented the book with illustrations for children A formidable dance contest (Carthusia Edizioni, 16,90 €), created by Emanuela Nava and Patrizia La Porta.
The text tells a metaphorical story of a small red chicken who, supported by her cubs and the rooster, manages to do what she wants most: participate in the great dance competition at the end of the summer, putting all his heart and his
The little hen can fight even an invisible wolf, which threatens it continuously. The wolf is multiple sclerosis and the illustrated book aims to help all mothers who have this pathology tell their children the invisibility of the disease.
In particular, the idea of volume comes from the happy encounter between Carthusia Edizioni publishing house specializing in children's edition, and Annarita Adduci mother with multiple sclerosis and psychologist. The latter and her husband, both psychologists, and three other mothers still suffering from multiple sclerosis (MS) and their respective husbands, met and this meeting was born this beautiful book. We interviewed Annarita, who told us in detail about her experience and the story of the creation of the book "A Great Dance Contest".
Books for young children and adolescents, titles to enrich the library home
A great dance contest: an illustrated book not to hide the truth to children [19659002]
Annarita Adduci has been taking care of children for almost twenty years: a large part of his activity, both clinical and research, as a psychologist and psychotherapist, has focused on the management of the disease within of their family
.
"My little patients, all these years, have shown their need to know, to understand, to make sense, to be involved, always. They have taught me, more than articles and books, the protective effect of the truth. This theme has touched me closely, for personal reasons: I have, in the first person, fought multiple sclerosis for over twenty years. MS did not stop me from realizing the future I wanted, including the greatest of all my dreams: to become a mother. "
The psychologist explains that she and her husband had to cope Personally and concretely to the task of talking about the disease to their children.
In particular, a few years ago, after reading a booklet on MS, Annarita's son, discouraged and irritated, said "Mom, they only talk about things that we can not do with MS, they talk about the disease as an obstacle to happiness." Annarita understood that the boy was right.
"I thought I needed to be able to do something. It needed a story that says exactly the opposite, that changed the headline of what the disease removes from what the disease still manages to give that would help all mothers with MS to tell their children about it. The invisibility of the disease against which they are fighting, to teach them to value all that we can do, to have, to be, to live in spite of its hard and constant presence ".
"It is for this reason that I contacted Carthusia a publishing house for young people, attentive to problems of this kind. It is thus that was born the story of GalliNella, who speaks of a small hen who decides to participate in the dance competition at the end of the summer, a competition which can represent any small daily challenge, even if for her dance requires a particular courage, because often her dance steps are hindered by an invisible wolf, visible only to her (illness). The victory of the little chicken is in the simple power to participate, to be able to dance "anyway"; it's not important if it's worse or better than others … what matters is that it can dance despite the threat of the invisible wolf, "Annarita explains.
Read also: Becoming mothers with multiple sclerosis
Coping with motherhood with multiple sclerosis
MS, like many other maternal diseases, inevitably affects the mother-child relationship, even before the child is conceived. This is not easy for a parent, especially for a mother: there are fears and fears related to the suspension of therapies, to abortion, rather than to the typical fallout from the puerperium. or the unpredictability of the disease course remove the lightness of a pregnancy, first and then a maternity.
"For many women, choosing to become a mother is a real answer to the diagnosis; motherhood becomes its own "victory" against disease, its own way of fighting it and defeating it. Many mothers do not have the opportunity to give birth to their children or badfeed; others are forced to steal the time and energy of their children for visits, therapies, rehabilitation.
Others still can not share parts of everyday life or activities with their children: biking, swimming, running or just shopping. All of this can affect the mother-child relationship if you allow it. If a child is motivated by possible interference of the disease with their own planning and daily life, and especially if you show them how any interference can be bypbaded and compensated, the disease and its barriers can become an opportunity for growth and development. # 39; education. for the whole family, "explains Annarita.
Why is it important to tell the truth to children?
Sharing the "truth" with children can be difficult when it comes to complex and uncomfortable truths. The truth about a disease is never simple. Even when the disease is concrete, we see it and touch it, too often it is easier to deny it and not to talk about it.
"A parent, instinctively and physiologically, tends to protect his children from this, in the illusion that, denying him the existence of this" something "unpleasant, it can not hurt them. Unfortunately, to deny is not enough; he can help us, and only apparently, in the immediate future, but he turns against us in the long run.
Many studies show the psychological protective effect of telling the truth to children and adolescents on different topics: is now shared that the truth has positive effects, even when it is about Sensitive and complex subjects as the actual disease of a parent, a brother or a member of the family. To give a name and meaning to things, to understand why, is a physiological and intrinsic need of human nature. Even the little ones need it even if they do not ask questions, "says the psychologist.
Telling Multiple Sclerosis to Children
According to Annarita, there are no rules and instructions for talking to a child about MS, but it is important to adapt the communication to the child. age and those who are the needs of a child as well as his ways of knowing the world and sharing.
"Stories, fables, tales or novels, in addition to being particularly useful for children, are an important communication facilitator; they can constitute a first moment of sharing, above all emotional, from which to begin. The book does not claim to explain the disease, but motivate parents to talk about it and help them do it, trying to introduce the disease into the family imaginary through the figure of the invisible wolf. It is indeed important that at some point, the invisible wolf be an illness.
But above all, it is essential that a parent be genuine in relation to his emotions. No one better than us can say to himself, explain what he feels, what he thinks, what he feels. And no one needs instructions for that. "
What Is The Message That Launches The Book A Great Dance Contest ?
" It is essential and a priority that the child understands that the disease is removing things but there are many others, but we must learn to see, to feel, to grasp. The most important message, which is what we wanted to convey with the story of GalliNella, is that illness is not an obstacle to happiness, that illness does not make it happier, but that It may make us more "able" to be ; that these obstacles to our happiness can be overcome, with tenacity and thanks to the support of their children and their companions, and that the interference of these obstacles makes every dance step more precious and admirable. "
Tips for Parents with MS Who Want to Address Family Problems
" A valuable tip is that parents are the first to talk to the "family". child, to provide him the first explanations ; even better if the parent directly affected by the disease is involved from the start in this sharing, "concludes Adduci.
Teachers, educators, doctors, psychologists can support the parent, support him, but not without replacing it.It is only later that it becomes important for a child to come and share these topics even in non – family contexts; child is usually because the child has become capable of doing so, it is proof that the child does not live with this problem with the secret or shame and that he has integrated the chapter "illness" in his own history, life and their own family history and that it allows him to talk about it outside
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