Jake Gyllenhaal says bathing is “less necessary sometimes”

This blog is for Jake Gyllenhaal, a very handsome man who recently said Vanity Show that he finds “the bath less necessary, sometimes”. And what would those hours be, Jacob? Hmm? Here’s the full quote, for context:

VF: Is there something revealing about your shower ritual?

JG: I’m still baffled that loofahs come from nature. They feel like they were made in a factory but, in fact, that is just not true. Since I was young, it amazes me. More and more, I sometimes find that the bath is less necessary. I believe, because Elvis Costello is wonderful, that good manners and bad breath get nowhere. So I do this. But I also think that there is a whole world of not bathing which is also very useful for the maintenance of the skin, and we cleanse ourselves naturally.

And then, they just… go on talking about free lox? Sir! Please! Can we go back to this “whole world of not bathing” that you speak of? I appreciate the attention paid to dental hygiene, among many other things about you: the shyness about your height, your love for bagels, the fact that you have a twin. But I’m a little worried about your armpits!

Scientifically speaking, it doesn’t hurt to skip a shower every now and then. In fact, some experts say you can over-wash your face, stripping your skin of its natural oils and microbiome. Perhaps Jake can take comfort in the fact that he’s not the only celebrity lately who shares a minimalist approach to bathing. Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher recently stated that they only wash their children when they are visibly dirty. Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard say they “expect the stink too” when it comes to bathing their children.

Look, I’m also known to revel in my stench every now and then. I am not above a bathtub sink. When I wear a hat, my nieces ask me if it’s because my hair is “gross”. (It probably is.) And everything Jake Gyllenhaal does can’t be so bad considering that he’s currently the face of a new Prada fragrance campaign and has been said to be “pickled.” In a sort of good scent.

Maybe this is all a distraction from Taylor Swift’s next ten minute version of “All Too Well,” a song that is probably, certainly, about her ex-boyfriend Gyllenhaal. But I can’t be so easily distracted, Jake!