[ad_1]
John Roderick, podcast host and frontman of indie rock band The Long Winters, has the unfortunate distinction of becoming the first person to go viral in 2021 for some really, really stupid reasons. On Saturday night, Roderick posted a lengthy thread on Twitter, telling the story of his daughter trying to open a can of beans. In Roderick’s account, his sobbing and starving daughter spent six hours trying to figure out how to work a can opener, when he pointedly refused to help. The story quickly caught on and infuriated a lot of people, and Roderick, in the eyes of the Internet, became “Bean Dad”.
Roderick’s story took a darker turn when Twitter users found old posts in which Roderick used racist, homophobic and anti-Semitic terms. Roderick’s podcast co-host, the Danger champion Ken Jennings, defended him, but others have distanced themselves from Roderick. Podcast My brother, my brother and me, who used a Roderick song as a musical theme, ad that they would no longer use Roderick’s music. Roderick has deleted his Twitter account and it remains inactive.
This morning Roderick posted an apology on his website. In his long note, Roderick says that the whole bean story had been “a bit” and his daughter didn’t really cry all the time: “My story about my daughter and the can of beans was poorly told. I didn’t share how much we laughed, how we had a bowl of pistachios between us all day as we worked on the problem, or that we both had a full breakfast a few hours before. He also acknowledged that his story had painful resonances for people who had been victims of child abuse, which Roderick had not anticipated.
As for his use of offensive language, Roderick wrote: “I can only say this: all of these tweets were meant to be ironic, sarcastic. I thought then that being an ally meant taking the insults of the oppressors and turning them around to make fun of racism, sexism, homophobia and bigotry … It was a lazy and damaging ideology, which I continued to believe far beyond the point that I should have known better that because I was a hipster intellectual from a diverse community, I could joke and deploy insults in that context. It was not.”
Here is Roderick’s full apology:
Hi..
I turned off my Twitter yesterday in a state of panic. I had to reflect on what I had done and the hurt I had caused and my mind was clouded with an unprecedented flow of new information. I want to recognize and repair the wounds I have caused. I have a lot to atone for. The insensitivity of my parenting history and the legacy of hurtful language in my past are two profound failures. I want to confront them directly.
My story about my daughter and the can of beans was poorly told. I didn’t share how much we laughed, how we had a bowl of pistachios between us all day while we worked on the issue, or that we both had a full breakfast a few hours before. Her mom was in the room with us all day and alternately laughed at us and told us to be quiet while she worked on her laptop. We all took turns on the puzzle.
I framed the story with me as an asshole dad because he’s my comedic character and my fans and friends know it’s “a little”.
What I didn’t understand when posting this story was that much of the language I was using very viscerally reminded people of the abuse they had suffered from a parent. The idea that I would take food away from her, or force her to solve a puzzle while she cried, or tie her to the task for hours without a break, all were images of child abuse that went deep. affected many people. By re-reading my story, I can see what I had done.
I was ignorant, oblivious to the message that my comedic “pedantic daddy” character was indistinguishable from the way abusive dads act, speak and think.
I woke up yesterday to find that I had become #BeanDad. I was the site of a tremendous wave of anger and sorrow. It took me hours to fully understand. I reread the story and saw clearly that I had framed it so badly, so insensitive. Bean Dad, full of swagger and swagger, was hurting people. I had conjured up an abusive parent who many people recognized in real life.
I’m deeply sorry that I precipitated more evil in the world, prolonged or exacerbated it by fighting back and flippant face to face, and taking my Twitter feed offline yesterday instead of facing the music. I wish the parents I modeled didn’t exist; I wish no one had to grow up with a parent who tortured them physically or emotionally. I would never intentionally shed light on these experiences, and I will never again underestimate the pain I can cause with poorly chosen words and acting defensively when challenged.
As for the many racist, anti-Semitic, hurtful and insulting tweets from my early days on Twitter, I can only say this: All of these tweets were meant to be ironic, sarcastic. I then thought that being an ally meant taking the insults of the oppressors and turning them around to poke fun at racism, sexism, homophobia and bigotry. I am humbled by my incredibly callous use of the language of sexual assault in occasional jokes. It was a lazy and damaging ideology, which I continued to believe far beyond the point that I should have known better that, because I was a hipster intellectual from a diverse community, I could joke and deploy insults in this context. It was not. I realized, at the start of the decade, helped by real-life friends and Twitter friends as well, that my status as a straight white man did not allow me to “reuse” these insults the way people would. communities deprived of their rights. They have been damaging whatever my intention, because words themselves have power and because real violence is often preceded by people saying, “I’m not a racist, but …”
It was wrong, so I quit.
Yesterday those old tweets resurfaced and hurt a lot of people again. People who are close to me, people in my community who couldn’t reconcile those words with the person they know I am. And the people who don’t know me, going about their business yesterday, must have seen these horrible insults and felt the pain that these words inspire. They must have suffered from this #BeanDad asshole by humiliating them and their friends. I deeply regret ever having used those words. I don’t want to spread more hate in the world. I want the opposite.
My language was not appropriate then or now and thinking about it has been part of my continuing education as an adult who wants to be a good ally. This education is ongoing and this experience will have a profound effect on the way I conduct myself throughout my life.
I’m a middle-aged, middle-class straight white male and I try to be aware of this and the responsibility that my privileges come with in everything I do. In this specific case, it is precisely my privilege of not living in an abusive family, of not being a member of a community that regularly suffers real trauma, that led me to so grossly ignore the impact of language that I chose.
I have a lot more to think about in the next few days, so I’m going to take a break from my public life to let some of these lessons soak in. I apologize to my partners, friends and everyone touched by my words for the harm I have caused.
[ad_2]
Source link