Kindness Guru: So what are you doing? | News, Sports, Jobs



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Mom helps with homework

Have you ever been asked this question? “So what are you doing?” What is your answer ? When I was asked this two days ago, I was exhausted and didn’t know how to answer.

Certainly, I speak mainly to women because they are often wives, mothers, daughters, sisters and grandmothers – like me. On this occasion my husband and I ate amazing burgers, fries and shakes from a local joint – Iceberg – along with several other volunteers. We all got together to work on a community farm project and we were given dinner afterwards. My husband and a friend sat down to talk about fishing. They showed each other the photos of the “big ones” they had rolled up. And then the friend asked me the question: “What are you doing?”

I had already explained my job and how it took the most energy from me at this time of year, so I wasn’t sure how to respond. “Well, I’m writing,” I replied. Then I added: “I am a good buyer.” Which is also pretty much true.

As I sat at home for the first time that day at 9 p.m., I pondered this question. I’m sure many of you will relate to my thoughts. I have a busy career, five children, 11 grandchildren, a lovely husband and two aging parents in my life. What do you think I’m doing !? The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I didn’t give enough credit to my work as a wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, sister, aunt… etc. And as much energy as I put into my career, and managing a household, I put a lot more emphasis on people and my relationships with them. It is not uncommon for me to spend an hour or two a day on the phone, in front of Marco Polo, or in person with family members and others.

Many of you lead scouts, bands, sports, and a myriad of other community activities in your day, as well as lead families, so the question “What are you doing?” May sound a little ridiculous. But, you can bypass yourself into thinking that you can’t do anything very important because you’re not running an international business, marathon, or political campaign.

Well, that night I got a little gripe on myself. I had not let myself honestly feel the importance of being a wife, a mother… etc. And yet these relationships are the things that matter most to me! I only really enjoy a hobby or adventure when it’s done with or for someone else.

After spending a few hours face-to-face as a math teacher with a grandchild, I feel fulfilled. After listening to a girl share big concerns about her career for an hour, I feel fulfilled. After leading a choir for an hour, I feel overwhelmed. After sitting next to my husband and holding his hand (not knitting) while we watch a movie, I feel fulfilled. Why? Because these interactions with each other were actually the most important part of my day.

Girls, let’s face it. We work very long and hard hours and we don’t recognize how much we are actually doing. We could answer the question, “So what are you doing?” With something like, “I do so much important work every day just being me; it would take an hour just to sum up a day. We don’t have to be involved in big adventures, hobbies, sports, or careers. We can be amazing just by being women.

Bulletin

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