No punishment can be disciplined. Learn to positively discipline the child and yourself / Article / LSM.LV

"Without good man , no one is in danger "grown up! "- the wisdom of such a people was ancient and in some families it was found even now.

What is Discipline

Discipline is the boundary of the behavior A child is like a setting that simultaneously determines acceptable and unacceptable behavior and gives the child a sense of security, making the child's life understandable and predictable.

Parents should understand that disciplining the child is not just a physical punishment.

We get a lot more relationships with children and families when we choose a positive disciplinary approach to education – we educate with your example, with attention and conversations, with coherent and understandable rules, proportionate consequences.Physical punishment – method of detrimental discipline

The physical punishment is to mistreat d children, to beat them by hand or objects, to shake, to throw, to comb, to force the children to remain in an uncomfortable position. Physical punishment is sometimes effective because the child is afraid, but does not teach the child how to behave in the desired way. On the contrary, the child learns to hide better next time.

Adults, by physically punishing the child, express their anger and stress, rather than teaching how to behave properly. Parents often raise their children in the same way as their own children,

Why do not children obey?

It is easier for adults to understand how to respond to children's behavior

. ] Typical reasons why children do not sometimes obey:

• Fatigue A child is tired, hungry or sick – for these reasons, the child can often lose control.
• Misunderstandings. The child may not have understood that the particular behavior is not acceptable.
• The jealousy. A child can become mean to attract attention. If someone else is attracted to attention, but not to him, then the child may be just jealous.
• Fighting . It may be that the child is trying to get revenge on a person who has it through, causing pain or unpleasant emotions.
• Anger. The child may get angry when he does not have what he wants. If we give in such a situation to the child we want, he learns that anger is an effective way and can continue to use it.
• Fear A child may become disobedient if he is afraid of something (eg, darkness, strangers, punishment).
• uncertainty. Consequences of Physical Punishment:
  • A physical punishment intimidates a child, but does not teach a child to understand why he should behave in the desired manner.
  • This child is humiliated. 19659004] There are situations where children are injured and even killed during a physical punishment.
  • A physical punishment inflicted on the child hurts "externally" and "internally" – usually "external" or stops faster, but the child's emotional state deteriorates .
  • A child does not feel safe, does not trust an adult
  • Physically punished children are more aggressive than other children, it is harder for them to understand what is good and what is bad . There may be different mental health issues.
  • A child develops the notion that violence in relationships is the norm, since the closest people deliberately and deliberately provoke the worst pain.
  • The child continues the chain of violence against other children. Later, he can continue in other relationships with their children.
  • Many, when they grow up, do not even know what they've been physically sentenced to, but they remember very well the feeling of self-injustice, injustice, and bodily harm. humiliation. In addition, the lasting negative consequences are emotional abuse – threat, slander, mockery, ignorance

  How to teach positive discipline?

  The Dardedze Center recommends to parents some tips for teaching a child a positive discipline:

  Try to speak calmly and name your desired behavior. Try to use phrases rather than bans, which indicate the desired behavior. Instead of saying "Do not play with food anymore!" You can say "Do it well by eating." Give each "NO" an alternative. "You should not eat a cake before lunch, but now you can eat apples and you can eat cakes after lunch." Do not talk with your child about superiority. If, for example, your child plays on the floor, talk with him, do not stand up, try to sit at the same level and speak calmly, especially if you want to explain to him that he has not followed any rules .

  boundaries. The rules must be simple and clear. The rules should not be too big, it is better to introduce some of which the child certainly learns. Involve children in the rules, let them express their points of view. And only after accepting the rules can they be tied to the wall. To know and follow all the rules, all family members must participate in the formation of the rules.

  Listen to the child. Let the child feel that he can tell you everything. Do not ignore the child when he wants to tell you something, even if you do not mind. Until the child finishes his quest, do not show that you probably do not agree with him.

  Play with the child. The short-term goal of games and gaming is entertainment. But in the long run, play has an impact on the physical, social, emotional and intellectual development of children. It also strengthens strong relationships with the child during the game. Games are a great way to teach discipline and rules. Get involved in a variety of activities with your child, such as drawing, painting, building, role playing, and more. according to the age of the child. Remember that the best games for the kid are the ones you play with him!

  Praise and reward your good behavior. Do not be tempted to praise the child for a small success. Children need the attention of parents, and congratulate the child is a great motivation for good behavior. There is always something to rent for a child. With praise, you will not shake your baby.

  Show love and understanding. Let the child make a mistake. Do not be afraid to show love to your child in all its forms (for example, saying "I love you", hugging him, l & # 39; Kissing, mocking him). Show an understanding when the child is doing something wrong, feel free to punish every mistake, we are all learning from mistakes. Remember that the love of parents is unconditional and never tell your child "If you do / hurt, your mom / dad will not love you anymore"

  Show your emotions and let your child stand show alone. It is very important for a child to teach emotional expressions by naming them. The role of the elder is to teach the child to recognize the emotions that he calls and also to support when the child feels these different emotions.

  Be an example for your child. Remember that children copy the behavior of their parents. If you want the child to behave well, remember that you are an example for your child and you must first follow the discipline you want to teach your child. For example, you should not ask the child to sleep in bed every day unless you sleep in bed in the morning.

  Be informed. Request for help. An older role is full-time work, with no afternoons or free weekends. And, like all the work, you must be informed and regularly gain new knowledge. Try to get information (for example, from books, the Internet, professionals) about the various physical and psychological changes that your child undergoes.

  * The study "The physical punishment of children in Latvia" by the Center "Dardedze"