Louis Vuitton’s hideous $ 3,000 enclosure looks like a UFO

Sometimes you see an expensive gadget and think, “Oh shit, this is really expensive, but considering the design, feature set, innovation, and build quality, it’s probably worth it. This is absolutely never the case when luxury brands decide they want to participate in the tech game. There are dozens of examples of why luxury brands are launching technology is stupid, but the latest is just this $ 2,890 Louis Vuitton speaker in the shape of a UFO.

Dubbed the Louis Vuitton Horizon Light Up Speaker, this thing is “inspired” by the brand Spinning top handbag. Unfortunately, this means that it is a cone clad in ugly and overpriced leather. LV also threw out a lot of cute marketing jargon on its site, saying it is “reinventing the world of portable audio” by creating something that doubles as a metal and leather “work of art” dotted around of the LV logo. The brand would also like you to believe that this cone in metal and leather with monogrammed patterns and a total of 35 LEDs is a discreet travel companion.

Look, art is subjective and fashion is incredibly personal. Perhaps you look at this thing and think, “Ah, the epitome of art …!” I will politely disagree, but respect that you have your own sense of taste. I might even nod if this speaker had respectable specifications. But from what I can see you might be paying $ 2,790 for the Louis Vuitton brand and $ 100 for a OK Bluetooth speaker.

This thing has a 3 inch woofer, two 0.75-inch tweeters, one Qualcomm QCS 404 chip, 15 hours of listening time, three microphones and a maximum sound level of 89 dB SPL at 1 meter. It supports bluetooth, wifi and AirPlay 2. Supposedly, It is able to detect directional orientation so that you get 360 degree sound even if it is out of the dock, slumped to the side. TThese are pretty much the same specs you would expect to find on an Amazon Echo, Nest Audio, or literally any decent portable Bluetooth player in the $ 100 to $ 200 range. Did I mention he weighs 2.2 pounds? This is about twice the weight of other portable speakers.

It’s folly to expect a gadget from a high fashion brand to be reasonably priced to match its feature set. You pay for exclusivity and to be the kind of person who casually pulls something like that out and says, “Oh, Muffy honey, that old thing? It’s a Louis Vuitton. “Technical capabilities or features are an afterthought, as long as they do the bare minimum. After all, a flashy bright speaker that can’t stand without a docking station weighs just as much and comes without a clue. IP protection is definitely a “low-profile” speakerphone reinventing portability.

Louis Vuitton is no stranger to this kind of stunt gadget. Last year, the brand created $ 1,190 Horizon Wireless Headphones. Before that he made a silly handbag with flexible screens sewn on the sides. It also has a Wear an OS watch this departures at $ 2,700. (Spoiler: It has the same specs as Wear OS smartwatches which cost less than half that price.) It would be one thing if that kind of stunt didn’t work. But for some reason he does.

I understand what it feels like to be bitten by the Collector’s Virus and the thrill of hunting for a rare item. For some things, it makes sense. Retro technology, for example, has its value both as a means of preserving history and nostalgia. But luxury watches are things you keep long. You’re paying for crafts, for something you can maybe pass on – an bullion coin, so to speak. Gadgets Are Ruled By Planned Obsolescence. It’s a racket. These luxury brands can a limited edition Super Mario watch it makes no technical sense, and the hypebeasts swallow them up in minutes to resell them at an astronomically higher price. Technology evolves, and those things you paid your nose for become obsolete and worthless in a year or two, but brands? Brands benefit from it.