Dating applications are tricky: experts reveal the biggest mistakes made by users

Online dating is fairly recent so there is still a lot of confusion about how (or if) it works.

So, if you stay up until 3 am, you find it hard to create a bio Tinder who screams "single and ready to mingle!" but also "completely cold", know that you are not alone.

Over the past year, I've talked to experts including a psychologist, a sociologist and a dating app founder on the best approaches to online dating – as well as the worst. And my boy, are there many misfortunes?

Here are the biggest mistakes people make on dating apps – and what to do instead:

1. Spend more than 30 minutes per day on profiles

According to Jess Carbino, Bumble's in-house sociologist (she previously worked at Tinder), 30 minutes is enough time to spend on dating apps: 15:00 and 15:00 hours at night.

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"People are busy and they have to think about going out together as part of their lives, as a part of their life," Carbino said. "It should not look like a job, dating should look like something you do to meet someone." Instead of spending hours slipping, Carbino said, "It would be better for you to spend a few hours a week on a date, two dates, or three dates, and try to get to know the people you have matched. with. "

Carbino added that, if you're really active on dating apps, which means you're communicating with multiple people at once, 30 minutes in the morning and 30 at night is fine.

2 Obfuscating what they're really looking for in a relationship

Dawoon Kang, co-founder and co-CEO of the Coffee Meets Bagel Dating App, emphasized the importance of being forthright in If you're looking for something serious, say it.

"I feel we feel a little embarrassed to say what we want in a relationship or a person," Kang said. There is, culturally, a tendency to "take care of too much is not cool". "

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Kang thinks it's ridiculous: how are you going to get what you want if you claim you do not want it?

She said, "What I really want to encourage people to be, is yourself, cool or not, if that's what you want, say it, because otherwise , how will the other person know? the time attracting the wrong people. "

3. Squeezing on an" algorithm "to find their soulmate

Psychologist Eli Finkel recently co-authored a study that suggests supposed algorithms on dating sites do not actually work. [19659005] For the study, published in the journal Psychological Science, Finkel and his colleagues asked students to complete questionnaires before a speed-dating session and to use a mathematical model to predict who would like who. In fact, the mathematical model that they used did a worse job of prediction of attraction than simply taking the average attraction between two students in the experiment.

Finkel says that apps like Tinder and Bumble are the best options just because they allow you to meet as many people as possible.

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He said, "These companies do not claim that they are going to give you your soul mate, and they do not claim that you can tell who is compatible with you from one." profile. on this stuff, then get together around a pint of beer or a cup of coffee.

"And I think it's the best solution, online dating is a great asset for us because it allows us to expand the list of meetings and introduce ourselves to people we n & # 39; We would not have met otherwise. "