Need help with mental health? Here’s how to get it

In Meghan’s first public comments since she and her husband Prince Harry, the Duke of Sussex, resigned as members of the Royal Family, she described herself as a victim at Buckingham Palace who took away his personal freedom and worried about the dark color of his son’s skin. Archie would be. She said these experiences severely affected her mental health, leading to suicidal thoughts that made the Duchess feel like she couldn’t be left unattended.

Stigma “affects everyone, and probably the people who are least expected to have an impact, it does have an impact,” said psychologist Hector Adames, professor in the Department of Counseling Psychology at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology. “It’s like when we are sick with a cold: we are all sensitive.”

Because a high profile public figure like Meghan was vulnerable to her struggles, some people may become more willing to talk about their pain, stress, or feeling trapped or losing hope, Adames said. What Meghan’s interview reiterated is that some of the challenges in getting help are universal, regardless of status.

Barriers to mental well-being

The mental health stigma that can prevent people from getting help prevails because “we are socialized to believe that everything that is different is bad, instead of really celebrating our differences,” said Adames. “We see that with race, we see that with gender, anything that is outside the ‘norm’, that tends to be whiteness, is deficient, it is wrong. I think that it also extends to mental health. ”

Shame – another potential deterrent to seeking support – also stems from a lack of education about mental health, which can make these conversations about mental issues confusing, Neville said.

Some may think that their mental problems are their fault or that they are under their control. Not being educated can also mean that people don’t know how to recognize that their experiences may indicate a deeper problem. For example, someone may think of their constant anger as a personality trait, while anger may be a sign of depression or trauma.

Like the Duchess of Sussex, some people struggle in silence because they don’t want to overwhelm others with their pain – especially if loved ones are dealing with their own pain or stress, Neville said.

In addition, some people do not have health insurance and therefore do not have access to mental health care. People with health insurance sometimes do not have coverage for mental health services, cannot afford it, or cannot find professionals who are sensitive to their race, ethnicity, culture, gender or gender. their sexuality.

How we talk (or don’t talk) about suicide

When someone asks for help, we tend to want to understand and support each other, Adames said. “But the peculiarity of suicidality and people who have suicidal thoughts is that it makes us be afraid,” he added. “This fear paralyzes us, which in turn doesn’t help the person calling for help, and then it becomes a vicious cycle, increasing the person’s chances of executing the thoughts they are having.”

Sometimes these confessions about people wanting to hurt or kill themselves can remind us of our own pain or suicidal thoughts, Adames said. A social attitude towards suicide is that it is selfish. If you are having suicidal thoughts and want to talk to someone about it, know that you are not trying to hurt others, Adames added.

Having at least one person you can be vulnerable with is important, even if it doesn’t make you feel good. Tapping into the psychological strengths of your heritage, spiritual beliefs, or relationships with children or pets is also helpful.

“A lot of times we run around and say, ‘OK, what can we do so that you don’t kill yourself?’ Of course, we have to try to help the person not to get hurt, ”said Adames. “But I would encourage people to become curious and understand their desire to die,” which does not mean supporting that wish, but rather trying to understand the reasons from that person’s point of view.

“In that listening, we might be able, with the person, to create ways for them to feel less trapped” and more connected, added Adames. Suicide prevention is crucial, but the ideation stage is “our window of opportunity” to empathize and “help them create more assertive alternatives”.

Where to find help

Meghan shared her story “because there are so many people who are afraid to speak out that they need help,” she told Oprah. “I know, personally, how hard it is not to just express it, but when you express it, to be told no.”

Believe in yourself, and that you are not alone and that what you are going through is not your fault. “It will be better,” Neville added. “It won’t always be that difficult.”