Dare to just talk about an abscess and your other dirty ailments

The biggest step in a relationship is not the first kiss, but the first fart. This is in Discomfort, physical taboos and what to do about it . You can add that there are two types of relationships: those in which loved ones keep their pets in front of them and those in which they are cracked without any embarrassment. There is a good chance that, in the latter case, the number of physical taboos will decrease. And this not only benefits the relationship, but also the happiness and health of both partners, describes Yael Adler.

But Mrs. Adler, how is it going in your family, do you give in to your flatulence in the presence of your husband? For a moment, the woman who talks about bottles of cola inserted anally and the danger of stress is a bit like him. "Uh … well, I like to be a little charming, it could be something of my upbringing, and you can certainly keep something for yourself."

Yael Adler is a German skin specialist. Zeitung and is a well-known German, because even on television, she speaks in a totally open manner of the most diverse physical problems.

Before, she had written a book on the skin. She is now in the Netherlands for her latest book. In German, he calls himself Darüber spricht man nicht . And then, you immediately know what it's all about: body odor, shit and piss, sex, itching everywhere, menstruation and menopausal symptoms, for example. But the men and women of Adler's office struggle just as much against hair loss and snoring. "Snoring is particularly painful for men, especially for men."

You can not think of such a crazy object or a doctor who removed it from the intestines of someone

Adler takes it very seriously, but writes with humor. Yes! The fart are flammable! Anyone who doubts that his vagina has a good smell should ask a man. And do not confirm a man who fears losing his manhood, call it rather low t without testosterone. "Humor makes everything lighter."

Anal abscess

Physical taboos have a function. "They provide the necessary framework for social interactions, helping to treat each other with respect." But too much shame can be dangerous, even fatal. She describes how a colleague, when her husband fainted in pain, discovers that he has an anal abscess. Until then, he refused to let his wife look. Understandable but imprudent, he could have become incontinent. "And sometimes you're also responsible for others, think of foot fungus or venereal disease, I always ask patients, are there more people who need to know that?" Shame is sometimes associated with secrets.And there is a lot of adultery. "

You come across Discomfort of a horror on the other: all the juices, smells, warts and the critters arrive. And countless dangerous sexual acts – you can not think of such an insane object or a doctor who sometimes removed it from the intestines. But every time you think your stomach can not stand it anymore, Adler sends him his message. Talk to a doctor so that something can be done about it. She does not give a moral judgment, only a council. When she finds that the "cleaning yoni cucumber" is a trend in women, she first patiently explains why the vaginal insertion of a cucumber is perhaps not so good idea, then she says, "Do what you want most. but pay attention to the security of the attributes you use. And, please, tell the truth if you end up in the emergency room. "

When it comes to the contraceptive pill, she suddenly becomes fierce." I have seen so many women who have side effects due to hormones, including IUDs containing hormones. Headaches, mood swings, loss of libido – this is for good reasons that I call the pill a chemical chastity belt. "

Learn more about the pill: From contraception to lifestyle pain

But the pill has become much safer and lighter?" Then again! There are many alternatives, such as the copper IUD. It works well for me. The most important thing is that you first need to know your body and your sexuality before exposing it to hormones, with all the physical and psychological side effects that entails. Because of the power of the pharmaceutical industry, the pill, especially for young women, has become a lifestyle product. "

Clean and Clean

The physical discomfort and the shame associated with it are of all ages and generations, and young people are no less ashamed of it than older people," says Adler, who notes that "In my doctor's office, I find that patients lose their shame as they grow up and are more often exposed to the doctor."

In practice, she finds that women are often ashamed of things that men do not embarrass at all. to have. "All the kids have an anal phase, but the girls are fast learning to be neat and tidy I have had three days of abdominal pain because I dared not go to the restroom toilets. Hotel where I was with my beloved Men have less problems with that. "

Men also know their penis much better than women's sex. "Although every woman knows that she has something, a clitoris that has only one function: to give pleasure."

Read also: Penetration is not sacred and seven other sexual facts

Sexual awareness is important, especially at a time when #metoo can create conditions conducive to "restricted". "Look, at work or in similar formal power relationships, the boundaries are clear, but in private it is nuanced.It would be so unfortunate that eroticism completely disappears from everyday life." The sexually conscious women of their who know their needs and limitations well, can better protect themselves from unwanted behavior and are less likely to feel victimized. "

Discomfort. Physical taboos and what to do Yael Adler (translation Linda Jansen), publisher Luitingh-Sijthoff, 352 pages, 19.99 euro