Many parents find it difficult to adapt after learning about the sexual orientation of a child for years.

Two years after their child "appears" as a lesbian, gay or bisexual (LGB), many parents still say that it is moderately or very difficult for them to adapt to the news , according to a study published today. These responses are on average the same as those of parents who have recently learned about their child's sexual orientation, suggesting that most parents have difficulty with such news for several years.

The results are important because previous studies suggest that parents who have difficulty coping are more likely to disapprove or engage in negative behaviors that may, in turn, expose LGB youth to serious health problems. .

"Surprisingly, we found that parents who knew the sexual orientation of a child for two years had as much difficulty as parents who had heard the news recently," said David Huebner, Ph.D. , MPH, Associate Professor of Prevention and Community Health at the School of Public Health, Milken Institute, George Washington University (Milken Institute SPH). "Two years is very long in the life of a child who has to deal with the stress of a parent who disapproves or rejects."

This study is one of the first and largest to interview the parents themselves, Huebner said. In addition, the study includes data on parents rarely studied, said Huebner, noting that 26% of parents surveyed had learned that their son or daughter was identified as LGB last month. Huebner and his colleagues studied more than 1,200 LGB parents. Young people from 10 to 25 years old. The researchers asked parents who visited a website containing LGB resources to complete a questionnaire.

Huebner and his colleagues asked the parents, "What is difficult for you, knowing that your son or daughter is gay, lesbian or bisexual?" Parents responded using a five-point scale of magnitude ranging from not difficult to extremely difficult.

The researchers found:

• Parents who had learned about their child's sexual orientation two years ago reported having as much difficulty as parents who had learned it very recently.
• African-American and Latino parents reported having more difficulty adjusting than white parents;
• Parents of older youth reported having more difficulties than parents of younger children;
• Fathers and mothers reported difficulties similar to those of parents of boys and girls.

Huebner says most parents find it difficult to take a development course, but most adjust over time. Parents in this study who have lived for five years or more reported the least problem with their child being LGB.

Parents who have trouble accepting the news may fear that their child may face a harder life, including harassment or harassment. Others need time to adapt because they have long imagined a traditional heterosexual future for their child, Huebner said.

Previous research by this team suggests that if parents reject their child or react negatively, even for a few years, the parent-child relationship will deteriorate. Negative parenting behaviors range from mild disapproval to categorical rejection. Huebner's research and other studies suggest that such behavior exposes the child to a high risk of depression, suicide, addiction and other health risks.

Still, Huebner said that most parents, even those who were shocked at the first reading of the news, cared deeply about their children and ended up adapting.

"Our findings suggest that interventions to speed up the process of adaptation would not only help parents, but also their children," said Huebner. "LGB youth with foster families are more likely to succeed in adulthood."

Huebner and his team have created a website, Lead With Love, which contains factual resources for families, including a documentary film, to help parents who come to learn sexual orientation from their parents. a child.

At the same time, researchers say that there is still much to be done. For example, this study looked at parents and their reaction to a snapshot. Additional research needs to be done after parents and children to see how the relationship evolves over months and years. Such studies could help researchers develop better support mechanisms for families, mechanisms that would help maintain the relationship between parents and children in good health and sound.

The study titled "Effects of family demographics and the passage of time on the difficulty parents experience with the sexual orientation of their lesbian, gay or bisexual youth" was published in the newspaper Records of sexual behavior. The National Institute of Mental Health funded the study.