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Why do so many people still seem determined to attribute meaning and style to clothing?
In the past, when I protested against the use of clothing to code the sex of children, I've always met opponents who argued that none of it was serious.
These clothes are (ironically) only "clothes" and the kids do not know what that means anyway. Yes, I replied C & # 39; is the goal.
Children are not born knowing what ridiculous gender stereotypes the adults around them have applied to the garment, but they learn very quickly and begin to self-assign on that basis.
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However, more specifically, even if children do not know what clothing is meant to mean, the adults around them know it, and they will consciously or not respond to the gender code presented to them.
One of my friends moved to Queensland some time ago and enrolled her two children in a small local ballet school. They both love dancing and her young son in particular has embraced the wearing of tutus and other dance props.
Recently, the school started preparing for its end-of-year concert. What followed was a disturbing glimpse of the depth with which people stick to their assumptions and phobias about the binary expression of gender and the challenges that this represents.
My friend's son – we'll call him "John" – was eager to join the other little dancers, wearing his tutu and dancing with them. But apparently, this did not fit with the vision of the teacher.
John was told that not only would he not be allowed to wear the same costume as the other dancers, but that he would also play in pants in the role of the Doctor, the character who (by vomiting) must give his spoon to all the little girls of medicine.
In recent weeks, my friend was struggling with the school coordinator. She has always been a strong advocate for her two children, allowing them to express themselves and express their personality through their clothes, as they please.
She had thought the problem was solved, telling the teacher that John should be encouraged to wear his tutu over his pants if that was his choice. That's what he wanted. This is how his whole family went to the concert that day wearing tutus.
Imagine the horror of my friend when she saw the teacher force John to the side of the stage and start removing his clothes to remove the tutu.
My friend tried to intervene by repeating to the teacher that she did not agree with what was going on while her son was crying. To make matters worse, the professor then gave John lollipops to stop his tears.
Some people may think that all this is an overreaction. But ballet is very traditional! You could think. Stop making such a big deal out of nothing!
But why is it considered "making a big deal out of nothing" when a parent argues for the right of their child to express it so as not to cause harm to anyone else, and gives also the example to his child are worth getting up?
We should not sit idle while adults send puzzling messages to children to tell them that lollipops are a soothing balm for times when their clothes are removed against their will.
My friend has since written to the school to express her disgust and explain that her children will not come back, but there is a lesson to be learned for everyone.
Clothes are just strips of fabric in which we wrap ourselves for comfort and personal expression. What happens if a two-year-old boy or a 65-year-old man wants to wear a tutu?
Why do we continue to allow the tyrannies of homophobia, transphobia and misogyny to dictate how we force our children to dress?
If your son wants to wear a skirt, that's fine. If your girl wants to wear pants, who cares?
If your child decides that he does not know what he wants his sex to be, just be his parent and provide him with the space, the support, and the support. love that it takes to understand it. If your vision of the world is so fragile that it can be defeated by a garment, it was not very solid to start with.
As my friend had told me previously: "This situation does not even concern a little boy, but an adult who can not manage more his understanding of the world in which she lives."
And that's what comes down to. It's not the kids' responsibility to defend our own regressive ideas about gender and expression. It's up to adults to expand our thinking. It is up to us to make the world a better place for them than for many of us. Why would not we want that?
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