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As expected, a weird week 1 confused us a bit.
After dominating the performances in Week 1, the Pittsburgh Steelers and New Orleans Saints returned to Earth, looking more like the teams I expected going into the season. On the flip side, Josh Allen and his 55% completion rate bounced back and blew up a lifeless Miami Dolphins team 35-0.
The 49ers engaged in a trench fight with the Philadelphia Eagles but escaped Lincoln Financial Field with a 17-11 win thanks to a punishing ground play and a curious play call from Nick Sirianni.
Derek Carr looked like an MVP contender early on, and the Las Vegas Raiders are one of the NFL’s 2-0 surprise teams. Also put Sam Darnold and the Carolina Panthers in this category.
As for the QB class of 2021 rookies, it was a tough Sunday. Zach Wilson was selected four times, Trevor Lawrence threw for just 118 yards and Justin Fields, who relieved injured Andy Dalton, looked inexperienced. Trey Lance did not see the field.
The Death Stars in Tampa Bay and Kansas City seem fully operational, while there is nothing but sadness in New York, uh, New Jersey.
Here is the position of each team after the action of week 2 on Sunday:
32. Jacksonville Jaguars (0-2): In two games, Trevor Lawrence has an above-expected completion percentage of minus-12.5%, according to NFL Next Gen stats. It was not an easy start for the anointed one.
31. Detroit Lions (0-1): Can Dan Campbell put his first kneecaps on the wall with a Monday night win over the Packers?
30. New York Jets (0-2): Zach Wilson became the fourth top-five rookie quarterback with four interceptions and no touchdowns in a game in the past 20 seasons. Two others (Sam Darnold and Mark Sanchez) were also Jets. Cursed franchise.
29. Houston Texans (1-1): You have to feel Tyrod Taylor, who left his “rematch” against the Browns with a hamstring injury and is not expected to play in week three. Guy can’t take a break. At least he won’t get Wally Pipped by Davis Mills. Probably.
28. New York Giants (0-2): Daniel Jones and Kenny Golladay are battling on the sidelines, Kadarius Toney is relatively absent, Saquon Barkley looks like a below-replacement running back and Joe Judge’s honeymoon is over. The Giants are a bad football team. Complete stop.
27. Atlanta Falcons (0-2): What are the Falcons doing well? I’ll wait.
26. Minnesota Vikings (0-2): Death. Taxes. The Vikings kickers missed winning goals on the field. Favorite in the twin cities.
25. Cincinnati Bengals (1-1): After throwing interceptions on three straight shots, Joe Burrow rallied to lead back-to-back touchdowns and give the Bengals a chance to win. Cincy’s O-line needs to do a better job protecting the franchise after allowing the Bears sack Burrow four times and register nine QB hits.
24. Indianapolis Colts (0-2): The Colts had the full Carson Wentz experience in Week 2 as Wentz threw a red zone pick on a shovel pass, brought the Colts back from a 14-point deficit before leaving the game with an ankle injury.
23. Chicago Bear (1-1): The Bears took out Joe Burrow three times, Justin Fields got some big shots, and Chicago took a win without Matt Nagy doing anything credit-worthy. A good Sunday in the Windy City.
22. Tennessee Titans (1-1): Derrick Henry came to life in the second half to lead the Titans to a comeback victory in Seattle. The Tennessee high school couldn’t cover the tin foil scraps, but that might not be a problem in the AFC South dumpster fire.
21. Washington Football Team (1-1): Dexter Lawrence’s questionable offside appeal saw the WFT win. But giving Daniel Jones 29 points without forcing a turnaround is a tall order for a defense that was to be the elite this season.
20. Philadelphia Eagles (1-1): In the past 20 years, there have been 46 games of 91 or more yards in the NFL, and only twice the team has not received any points on the record. Nick Sirianni’s curious “Philly Special” play call put the Eagles on that list on Sunday. Morning driving time radio in the City of Brotherly Love should be fun on Monday.
19. Miami Dolphins (1-1): Miami’s big offensive line investment was a failure from the start. The Dolphins allowed five sacks on Sunday and Tua Tagovailoa left the game with a rib injury. The truth is that the Dolphins are a Damien Harris fumble to be 0-2 and in big trouble. Hey, they might still be having trouble with the Raiders coming to town.
18. New Orleans Saints (1-1): It was a historic and humiliating defeat for Sean Payton and the Carolina Saints on Sunday. New Orleans only had six first downs and 128 net offensive yards, the least of the Payton era (2006). It’s hard for Jamies to eat W’s if the punt team gets that much work.
17. Pittsburgh Steelers (1-1): The Steelers offense hurts your eyes, and Mike Tomlin knows it. Pittsburgh tried putting lipstick on a pig to promote Matt Canada to OC, but Ben Roethlisberger is just done. I can’t get around this.
16. Carolina Panthers (2-0): Sam Darnold rushed 300 yards for the first time since Week 12 of the 2019 season. What a difference to Adam Gase to Joe Brady.
15. New England Patriots (1-1): Mac Jones has been solid in his first two starts, but the Patriots are going to have to open it for the rookie to hit his cap in 2021. I’m a week away from leaving #LetMacCook.
14. Dallas Cowboys (1-1): Dak Prescott and Greg Zuerlein’s right leg saved Mike McCarthy from a firing squad on a Monday morning talk show. “The boys got a win they didn’t deserve, but it counts as much in the win column.
13. Green Bay Packers (0-1): Everyone WILL RELAX if the Packers dust off the Lions on Monday night.
12. Bison bills (1-1): In two games, Josh Allen has only passed 55.9% of his passes and averaged just 5.4 yards per passing attempt. The Bills faced two strong defenses in Pittsburgh and Miami, but it’s a troubling start for a team that should be a legitimate AFC title threat.
11. Los Angeles Chargers (1-1): A horrific illegal shift penalty cost the Chargers a victory over the Cowboys. The Bolts played their C game and were still the best team on the pitch. Sometimes the breaks don’t go your way.
10. Denver Broncos (2-0): In two games, Teddy Bridgewater is 54 for 70 for 592 yards, four touchdowns and no interceptions, and the Broncos are 2-0. That’s why Steady Teddy is in the center and Drew Lock is holding a clipboard.
9. Seattle Seahawks (1-1): The Seahawks lost a 24-9 lead over a Titans team allergic to covering wide receivers over 10 yards. It’s a loss that could haunt Seattle in two months.
8. Baltimore Ravens (1-1): Lamar Jackson bounced back from a disastrous start and eventually took the win over Patrick Mahomes. Jackson and the Ravens ‘running game crushed the Chiefs’ defense to keep them from falling into a 0-2 hole. I won’t complain if Jackson and Mahomes meet again in January.
7. Cleveland Browns (1-1): Baker Mayfield is 40-fo-49 so far on the season. If he walks like a franchise QB and speaks like a franchise QB, it’s probably a franchise QB.
6. Las Vegas Raiders (2-0): Derek Carr and Jon Gruden are firing on all cylinders, and Gus Bradley’s defense looked competent for two weeks. This is the first time the Raiders have opened 2-0 with wins over teams that were playoff teams the previous season during the Super Bowl era. It’s hard to imagine a better start for the Silver and Black.
5. Arizona Cardinals (2-0): Kyler Murray (400 passing yards, four TDs overall) is an early season MVP contender, but he’s also said he’s never seen Star Wars, so I’m not sure how much we can. take seriously.
4. San Francisco 49ers (2-0): Over the course of two weeks, the 49ers played 2.5 good quarterbacks against a poor Lions team and otherwise looked mediocre at best. Still, they were back at the Bay at 2-0 and have plenty of room for growth. But improvement has to come quickly with the Packers and Seahawks on deck.
RELATED: Ranking the 49ers’ win over the Eagles
3. Kansas City Chiefs (1-1): Patrick Mahomes finally threw an interception and lost a game in September. So he can bleed. The Chiefs’ defense has real issues, especially in the red zone, which can plague them in the playoffs.
2. Los Angeles Rams (2-0): The Rams took care of Andy Dalton and Carson Wentz to open the season. Want to prove you’re real? Here’s Tom Brady and the Bucs in Week 3.
1. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-0): Taking of Gronk. Gronk score. Gronk Point. Gronk party with Tom. Tale as old as the world.
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