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DEAR ABBY: I am a 21 year old woman who has not had much luck when it comes to relationships. My first real relationship didn’t happen until I was 20, and it didn’t last too long. I ‘talked’ to quite a few guys, but they never got past the ‘get to know you’ stage.
I was able to figure out things that I wanted and didn’t want in a relationship.
My best friend for eight years has always been there to help me through some pretty tough times. He has all the qualities that I look for in someone. He’s smart, funny, honest, caring and is literally a male version of me.
When we were younger he told me he had feelings for me, but I only saw him as a friend. Everyone told us we should be together, but I ignored it. After years of knowing I didn’t feel the same way, he gave up on trying to take our friendship to something more. I always told him that I didn’t want to get involved in a romantic relationship because I value his friendship too much and I didn’t want to lose him.
He recently started a relationship with someone, and it made me realize that I might have romantic feelings for him that I never had before. I do not know what to do. Please help.
TOO LATE IN TEXAS
Expensive too late: The more silent you stay, the greater the chance that your friend’s new relationship will turn into something serious.
Tell her all the qualities you think are special about her (minus being your “clone”). Then follow up with the fact that it wasn’t until he started this new romantic relationship that you realized you had those kinds of feelings for him. Better late than never
DEAR ABBY: Last month, I found out that a friend of mine was going to live in his van. I couldn’t let him do that, so I offered him my second room and rented it out.
He told me that Uber doesn’t pay much and that he can’t afford half of the $ 1,700 in rent per month, so we agreed he would pay what he could, around $ 200 to $ 300. out of the $ 1,700. I said it was OK because I didn’t host it for financial gain. I did this to help a friend in need and had some free space.
I soon discovered he was a storekeeper. His whole room is full of his boxes of stuff (manga, anime, books, etc., no furniture or TV), so much so that he slept on the sofa in my living room. He also spends all of his time at home and only Ubered the last two days of the month to earn the $ 200 to pay me.
Guess my question is, our deal was $ 200-300 per month, which he paid for, but is knowing that he only works two days a month for that to change our agreement?
LOST PUPPY IN HAWAII
DEAR TAKEN: May I clarify that when you welcomed this “puppy”, it was not for him to sleep on your sofa but in the guest room? He shouldn’t use your living room or sofa for sleeping.
Because you’re hiring this freelancer – for what reason, I can’t figure out – you might need a lawyer to get him out of there. Rather than working two days a month to pay you that tiny amount of rent, he should be driving enough hours to accumulate a down payment on his home. To say that your kindness has been used is an understatement.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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