A few years ago I stumbled upon a Halloween blog post that made me laugh and feel jealous that I hadn’t thought of it myself.
The post was from Suzanne Fleet, who blogs at Toulouse and Tonic, and was a listing of funny sexy Halloween costumes for moms — from the “Blazing Hot Bake Sale Babe” (complete with flaming brownies fresh from the oven) to the “Drive You Crazy Carpool Mom” in all of her pajamaed glory.
I interviewed Fleet about her hilarious idea and a year later was invited to participate in her next sexy costume post, where I was photographed as the “Shagalicious Short Order Cook.” My hot mom costume was me striking a sexy pose while making my kids breakfast (that is, serving them Lucky Charms).
Over the three years, Fleet ended up with close to 30 humorous Halloween costume ideas.
“Together the three seasons of ‘Sexy Halloween Costumes for Moms’ pretty much covers it all,” Fleet told TODAY Parents in a recent interview. “There’s something there for every mom — and the best thing about these funny ‘sexy’ costumes is — you’re probably already dressed.”
“I kept coming back because I thought it was such a funny idea and statement,” said Brenna Jennings, who was in the photo shoot all three years. “Both on the rise of ‘MILF’s’ and the conflicting messaging that women lose all sexuality once they become mothers. I loved joining in because hidden just beneath my low-maintenance persona lies a woman who’s dying to go Pinterest bananas once or twice a year.”
This year, TODAY Parents is rounding up Fleet’s ultimate list of sexy Halloween costumes for moms.
Every dad in the neighborhood will be lining up behind you in our sexy “Drive You Crazy” Carpool Mom costume. Its racy features include whatever funky pajamas you slept in last night, rat’s nest hair and a cup of tepid coffee. Rock it with a pair of therapeutic slippers and for our sexiest version yet, skip the bra! Lunch boxes your own. Sold out in L, XL and XXL.Suzanne Fleet at Toulouse and TonicBe sure to have your fire extinguisher on hand when you’re dressed as our Blazing Hot Bakesale Coordinator. You’ll make their mouths water in our broiling hot brown and white polka dot apron complete with sugar-sweet bows on the pockets, a lickable batter-covered t-shirt – and yoga pants that hide all your naughty indiscretions! Add your own purple Uggs and muffin tin, then bend over that oven and make them drool for your goodies!Rebecca Gallagher at Frugalista BlogSet your washing machine to sanitize with our Dirty Delouser costume! If none of the other moms want their kids to play with yours, you’ll know the real reason. You’re just too damn hot in our fishnet stocking-inspired hairnet, specially patterned “lice-hider” apron and red hot rubber gloves that’ll protect your hands from all their dirty deeds. Itchy kid and reading glasses sold separately. Nit comb and half empty bottle of RID your own from the last time. Also available in Plus Size for our Curvy Delousers.Leslie MarinelliShe can’t answer the door right now, Mr. Plumber. She’s all tied up with the laundry! 50 Shades of Grey will have nothing on you when you spend a sizzling Halloween in your laundry room in our “50 Shades of Laundry” costume. The dinginess of the sweatshirt and the holes in your college sweatpants make this outfit the ONLY things clean in your entire house – including YOU! There’s an inner goddess in there somewhere! Be sure to complete the look with your own bored housewife bondage fantasies and our life-sized cut out of Christian Grey. One size fits the lowest common denominator.Karen Alpert at Baby SideburnsYou’ll be #1 (and #2!) when you out pout your toddler this Halloween in our “In The Line Of Doody” Potty Trainer costume! Slipping seductively into this costume is easy but getting out of it can take forever. But no one (else) will mind as long as you keep that captivating come hither look on your face and a can of Lysol in your hand! Accessorize with the potty chair of your choice and a look of utter exasperation!Robyn Welling at Hollow Tree VenturesWhat’s that spooky sound I hear? Oh no, it’s a crying baby! And there she goes again in our Luscious Lactator costume. Check out all the striking details on this exclusive naughty nursing top, from our realistic looking regurgitation to our stay-fresh boob leakage! You can be sure your breastmilkshake will bring ALL the boys to the yard this Halloween! Sweatpants available at the bottom of your laundry hamper. Finish the look with your own dark under eye circles and that special aroma of showerlessness and spit up.The Hill JeanTease your man with the idea of getting a little on Halloween and every other night when you stretch out in our Sleeping Seductress costume. Will it happen? Maybe, but probably not. Because you nodded off again under the sultry Good Night Moon, you little minx. Costume imported from your husband.Motherhood WTFWhat’s sexier than a clean kitchen? Watching you load and unload in your Dirty Dishwashing Damsel Halloween costume! And best of all, you don’t even need to Trick or Treat because your pants are already full of all the candy anyone could want. We provide the candy pants and the dingy apron – single rubber glove your own.Amy Flory at Funny is FamilyDon’t touch that snooze button! You’re sure to be too exhausted to do anything about it but you’ll have your husband all riled up anyway when you usher in the morning in our tantalizing Tired Temptress costume this Halloween. Our fuzzy robe and your clinging child will provide all the stumbling blocks you need to keep to keep that man wanting more. Or just some.Brenna Jennings at Suburban SnapshotsYou’ll be the cat’s pajamas in our Teacher’s Pet School Bus Stop Mom Halloween costume! Just listen to you purrrrr as your children board that big yellow school bus leaving you with 7 hours to be the bad bad bad bad housewife you are. The look includes our “it’s getting hot in herrre” purple fleece pullover and fetching feline pajama bottoms that hide every curve. Complete this classic look with a tube of Carmex and all the great intentions in the world to actually be productive today.Nicole Leigh ShawWhoa! Check out that equipment! Nobody’s scoring more than you this Halloween in our Sexy Suburban Soccer Mom costume. Kick off the night in our red hot double-layered team tee strategically lengthened to hide the stretchy waistband of those maternity jeans you’re still wearing even though your youngest is 2 years old. We provide the tee and the net, you provide the minivan and the balls!Erin Williams at Sisterhood of the Sensible MomsWith all the sexy costumes out there, Halloween has become the trashiest holiday around – but this year, nobody will be trashier than you in our Tantalizing Trash Can costume. Yoga pants starting to smell? Don’t toss them, just put them on again and add our purple “athleisure” top that’s loose enough to hide all the garbage that you’ve been eating. You’ll need to add your own banana peel and empty bag of Pirate’s Booty but the kids come with the costume if they don’t stop fighting right this minute. Sold out in L, XL and XXL.Suzanne Fleet at Toulouse and TonicWhat’s her naughty secret? She’ll never tell and neither will you when you’re wearing our Homeschooling Hottie costume. No need to study the sexy features of this outfit – you’ll ace the test in our comfy 3-piece stretch ensemble complete with paper airplane for your head and a pair of reading glasses that look like they’re borrowed from the school librarian, except you are the school librarian, the cook, the janitor, the teacher, the principal, the coach and everything else. Accessorize with your own feeling of utter chaos, a case of pencils and a group of kids who don’t listen to a word you say.Jessica Watson at Four Plus an AngelIndulge in a day of forbidden frivolity when you spend Halloween in our Hot Mess Mom costume. Uh-uh, no cleaning for you because you’re a dirty little hausfrau, aren’t you? Costume comes complete with our oldest yoga pants, a tight “Hot Mess” pink tee and whatever other crap we rake off the table into the box before we mail it to you. Deluxe Hot Mess Mom costume comes with a set of lipstick-stained teeth and a hoodie with copious cigarette burns.Deva Dalporto at MyLifeSuckersYou’re not a crazy cat lady, you’re a purrrrfect little pussy when you wear our Provocative Pooper Scooper costume. You’ll go into a feline frenzy when you’re wrapped in our polyester Cheetah-print robe with our pink fuzzy cat ears playfully perched on your head. Accessorize with your own matching pink pooper scooper and every dawg in the neighborhood will be scratching at your door.Ellen Williams at Sisterhood of the Sensible MomsWho’s inside that tent? You know you want to slip inside and see. Uh-oh, it’s just your kids so go back to setting some campfires ablaze when you walk the wilds in our new Captivating Camper ensemble. Earn your badge in this campfire cutie costume that includes a wanton wolf onsie and a raspberry beret hot enough to set Prince aflame. Give me s’more!Kim Bongiorno at Let Me Start By SayingDon’t have any preconceived notions about how sexy you can be when you’re 8 1/2 months pregnant. Plenty sexy when you wear our Pouty Preggo costume. This giant blue tee and stretchy shorts are the same ones you’ve been wearing for 5 days in a row but we’ll send you a red bow to tie across your bloated belly. Top off this ensemble by crying at the drop of a hat when you get a bit of popsicle on your shirt or see an old couple holding hands. Improvise. And remember, you’re pouting for two! Unbridled tears and backache your own. Only available in XL.Paige Kellerman at There’s More Where that Came FromWorking with hazardous material can leave you exposed to some pretty nasty stuff but nothing’s as nasty as you in our Hazmat Hottie costume. Your kids might have the flu but you got dat ass! So bend over and pick up those tissues ever so slowly. This deluxe costume comes with our Papilloma Purple mask, dress and a bunch of wadded up tissues that might be carrying something. Gloves and boots your own. Accessorize with a roll of paper towels and a prescription for Zofran.Brenna Jennings at Suburban SnapshotsYou’ll provide exceptional service in our maid for you Misbehaving Maid costume – although there’s no getting you clean, you dirty little minx. Put on our blue tee and black stretchy pants, tie a sweatshirt around your ass and crawl around on your hands and knees like the handmaiden you are. Striking details include reading glasses you can never find even though they’re on your head, black ballet flats with white tennis socks and a look that conveys the complete futility of trying to clean anything when children exist. Please add your own toy doctor’s kit and silk-wrapped faux lollipop to clench in your teeth while muttering like a crazy person.Mom of the YearOh are you hungry? Well, our Shagalicious Short Order Cook has something you can put in your mouth! What’s that I see? A DOG on the TABLE? That’s right. She’s in violation of every health code imaginable but she’s still gonna make you drool for her goodies in our red and white polka dot apron and giant gray robe. Just add last night’s empty wine bottle, at least two kids who always want something different to eat and a rescue pup to actually eat the stuff you made. Order up!Terri Peters at TODAY ParentsEverybody needs to be somewhere at the same time and you’ll give them the ride of their lives in our Shameless Chauffeur costume. Drive them crazy in our schlubby Tuxedo print tee inspired by your Uncle Ronny who is 44 and lives in Granny’s basement, a pair of gloves to protect you from all the germs you’ll encounter at Chuck E. Cheese and a hat to cover up your unwashed hair. Yoga pants your own.Suzanne Fleet at Toulouse and TonicGive me an S, give me an E, give me an X, give me a Y. What does that spell? SEXY! And that’s just what you’ll be in our Cheeky Cheerleader costume. Wearing our fitted white tank top that spells out your devotion to your favorite player will give you a jump on all the other moms while all the dads will flip for you in our arousing athletic shorts. Costume comes with pom pom and hair bow. Add your own embarrassed child and beguiling beverage of choice.Amy Flory at Family is FunnyYour calendar will be completely full this Fall when you dress as our Hot Hairdresser for Halloween. The costume’s black tee and yoga pants bring the (tepid) heat, while the flat iron will curl their toes. Don’t worry, there will be no cancellations because your reputation precedes you and nobody wants to get a blow out from anyone but you. Add your own Little Mermaid-obsessed child.Mom of the YearYou’ll be as hot as molten lava this year in our Science Fair Femme Fatale costume. Wearing our teasingly paper-thin jumpsuit and standard issue goggles, it’ll be all they can do not to erupt when they see you. So grab that fire extinguisher and create your own foam party because things are about to get weird (science) up in here. Failed science experiment your own.Brenna Jennings at Suburban SnapshotsYou’ll finally be ready to come out of the closet this Halloween when you wear our Hidden Pleasures costume. But do you have to reveal your secret stash? No you don’t. No one gets a taste of your candy until you say so. The pleasure is all yours. Costume comes with a box of assorted sweets, heavy on the chocolate — and factory-defective sweatshirt and sweatpants. Extra boxes of candy may be purchased here. Costume no longer available in L, XL and XXL.Karen Alpert of Baby SideburnsKnock, knock. Who’s that at the door? Oh dear, it’s the Foxy Fundraiser here to take all your money and leave you with nine rolls of Christmas paper, a giant tin of popcorn and a dozen boxes of Girl Scout cookies. What’s that? You don’t have any cash. That’s okay. She takes checks and even has a Square credit card swiper on her iphone. Order this costume now because the only way to stop people from trying to sell it to you is if you can tell them you’ve already bought three. Comes with blue tee shirt and yoga pants. Accessories are extra but please buy as many as you can because we really need to raise money for our band trip to Disney World, to save the whales and for the children. Come on, it’s for the children.Harmony Hobbs at Modern Mommy MadnessYou’re the only one who knows who and what goes where this Halloween when you’re out and about in our Saucy Secretary costume. Keeping up with so many schedules has never been so fetching (and frustrating). Costume comes with sweatshirt, an assortment of pens and a shit pile of whatever papers, cables, books and pets we rake off our table into your box when we pack it.Rebecca Gallagher at Frugalista BlogNobody can collect as many stares as you in our Bodacious Boxtopper costume this Halloween. All eyes will be on you in the aisles and on the streets in this sizzling off-the-shoulder “Flashdance” sweatshirt from 1983 and bewitching black stretch pants. Accessorize with your own box tops because we’ve bought all the Cheerios we can eat for the next decade for our own kids’ schools and quite frankly can’t afford to buy them for you too.Domestic GoddessYou’ll be making all the calls this season in our deluxe Racy Referee Halloween costume for moms. Fierce features include buxom black and white striped referee tee, luscious lavender robe that doubles as a tablecloth, whistle and flag. You know you’ll be calling foul on all the dads in the neighborhood when they try to score with an illegal play. But don’t worry too much – accessorize with a couple of fighting kids and before you know it, the game will be over.Terri Peters at TODAY Parents
