Sailors invite everyone to Disneyland, Splash Mountain spontaneously ignites



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The Mariners, needing every possible victory, lost to the Los Angeles California Angels of Anaheim 14-1. The only bright side here is that each loss only counts as one loss in the standings, although that should count as at least 3 or 4 anyway.

Tyler Anderson failed to adapt when it became clear that the Angels attacked all shots that even stung the strike zone, and did so successfully. Yohan Ramirez came over to clean things up a bit and instead dug the hole much deeper. Justus threw 15 straight balls and entered a runner. The offensive ended with 3 double games.

In the words of Gary Hill, Jr. and Rick Rizzs,

GH: “Is this really happening? “

RR: “Unfortunately.”

Unfortunately, indeed, Rick. There have been, at best, two promising performances tonight (Doolittle and Raleigh), but not promising enough to go into detail here.

Instead of recapping further, here are a few adjectives to describe each sailor’s performance. (Hint: most of them are negative)

Pitch staff:

Tyler Anderson: Fulminant (strongly and / or violently explosive)

Yohan Ramirez: Annoying (maddening; boring)

Justus Sheffield: Vexatious (distressing; disturbing)

Eric Swanson: Unpleasant (unpleasant to the taste)

Sean Doolittle: Sterling (admirable, high quality)

Matt Andriese: Without consequence (little or no importance; insignificant; insignificant)

Position players:

Cal Raleigh: Auspicious (promising success; auspicious)

JP Crawford: little (not abundant; almost insufficient)

Kyle Seager, Abraham Toro, Mitch Haniger, Jake Fraley: Ridiculous (ridiculously or insulting little)

Ty France, Jarred Kelenic, Luis Torrens, Jake Bauers, Dylan Moore: Hateful (quite detestable; abominable; odious)

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