Shirt From Target Helps Amtrak 188 Survive Crush With TSPT: NPR

When Janie Dumbleton looks in her closet, she walks past a group of workwear that she has not updated for four years: a blazer, black pants, winter dresses.

One of this 30-year-old's favorite items is a high-waisted floral sleeveless peplum from Target. It is black and beige, with pale pink and coral flowers and a pinch of sky blue.

It is robust, silky but structured. No tears. No stains.

"It's a kind of miracle," she says.

That's because Janie wore the jersey on May 12, 2015, the day the 188 Amtrak train crossed a turn at 106 miles to the hour – more than double the speed limit posted – and derailed in Philadelphia. Eight people died and more than 200 were injured. It was one of the worst accidents of Amtrak in history.

Janie was in the train, sitting next to her chief, as she was returning to New York from Washington DC The sun had gone down – it was late, it was almost 9:30 pm.

She was tired but did not want to fall asleep – it was her first work trip – so she texted her friend Jordan. They started talking about the TV show The anatomy of Grayand Jordan have described the death of one of the main characters, Derek Shepherd, in a dramatic car accident.

"I remember answering a text message:" Nothing serious ever happens in real life, "Janie remembers." And then I looked up and saw him. " accordion train, sort of crease and curl, and four seconds later, I blink, thinking: 'OK, I'm tired. I could be in a dream. & # 39; "

But it was not a dream.

The car she was in was derailed and Janie was trapped in a crevasse. Three helicopters hovered just above the ground.

"I remember thinking that the world had to be over, I completely accepted death and I was ready to die," she says.

Janie survived that day. She lost her laptop, her identity card, her bag. But his mother – who ran up to Janie's hospital bed – kept her clothes on.

"I do not think my mother threw them because she did not know how my life was going to unfold after [the accident] or how I was going to unveil myself after that, "says Janie.

When Janie first saw the sleeveless top and the black short pants, cleaned and stored in her closet, her body reacted immediately.

"I remember having a kind of strange thrill." I knew right away, when I saw them folded, that I would keep them, "she said.

His injuries were considerable: Janie was broken and had torn all the ligaments of the shoulder. and suffered injuries to the jaw and hip. She underwent an operation in the shoulder, to which a doctor added a plate and six screws. She had trouble walking after the accident. At one point, she was undergoing physical therapy five days a week while she was recovering at her parents' home outside Atlanta. Even now, she is undergoing physical therapy and experiencing chronic pain.

After five and a half months, Janie and her outfit have returned to New York. Back to work working in conflict resolution – his normal life. But nothing seemed normal.

"One of the ways that PTSD is happening is to stop thinking about a future. I did not really understand what was happening until my PTSD counselor really challenged me. "Said Janie," I do not see anything. I see nothing. I was just trying to survive. "

Janie's post-traumatic stress disorder followed her everywhere. It was triggered by scenes from The anatomy of Gray and sirens in the streets. When his company moved to downtown, the PTSD was hiding in front of the new window of his office, in the form of a helicopter landing pad.

"Suddenly, I could see and hear helicopters, and they were not just up in the sky, one of them was getting further and further away. down, "she says. "It bothered me and made me feel like I was out of life for … a few seconds."

When Janie decided to face her PTSD by standing in front of the landing strip, she reached out into her closet to get a secret reinforcement of her strength.

"I knew I would like to put my train wreck out, because I knew it would be difficult and I wanted a physical reminder that everything would be fine," she said.

During her lunch break, dressed in her "wreckage gear", Janie would watch the helicopters take off and land, pushing herself closer. She did it once or twice a week for two months.

"I was listening to the helicopter. Close your eyes and try to root yourself in the space where I stood and think:" You're fine. "You're not in a train, and you're not in a train wreck, nothing has gone off the rails and no one will die right now, "she says.

Then, one day in her apartment, Janie heard the sound of a helicopter and was not brought back to the accident. His PTS has calmed down. It is no longer triggered by helicopter noise, but it still does not take the trains out of the ground.

Now, in demanding work days, Janie's clothing choice is strategic. When she animates a presentation or has the courage to ask for an increase, she dons this outfit.

"My old self was in these clothes, and the self that was in the wreckage of the train was in those clothes, and then the self that I was trying to rebuild was in those clothes, and this woman was OK." said Janie.

Finally, Amtrak reached a settlement of $ 265 million with over 100 victims and their families. And two years later, in 2018, charges involving manslaughter were restored against the engineer. He is waiting for the trial, which is scheduled for later this year.

As for Janie, she will be in Italy this weekend, for her first trip to work abroad since the accident. Same employer, same boss. And the same black pants and the same floral top that she wore four years ago will be nestled in her suitcase.

She will wear this top, wash it, then hang in her closet, unharmed and ready to be worn again.