At home, really after 8 years: the quest for safety of a divorced mother



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SINGAPORE: She was threatened with knives in her own apartment by her husband after a quarrel that escalated. Even the intervention of the police could not guarantee her safety if she stayed.

Ms. Tamilvaannii had already obtained a personal protection order against her abusive husband – allowing the couple to live in the same house but in separate rooms. Yet the officers who responded to his call advised him to leave for his own good

"And if he stabs me to death after the departure of the police?" Thought she.

At night, she and her 18-year-old daughter Vinothinnii found themselves on the streets

Mdm Vaannii saw the true value of being an owner in a new light: it was not just a roof over his head. or a place to decorate as she wanted.

It was a haven where no one could take his children out. Said 46-year-old:

I felt the pain of (having to leave). I saw that I had to have my own house.

But it took eight years of anxiety as a single mother, and the unexpected chance of a second chance, before she found that safety for her children, with the help of the Housing Agency. and Development Council (HDB).

SO CLOSE, EVEN FURTHER

The night she was hunted, Mdm Vaannii sought refuge with relatives. And so began a "very, very difficult" transition from a full-time housewife to a single breadwinner.

When her divorce was granted in 2011, her son went with her ex-husband, while she had custody of her two daughters. To make ends meet, she began working twice as a health care assistant

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Mdm Vaannii was found alone to raise her two daughters, Vinothinnii and Visalini. Regarding housing, she rented a four-room apartment in the open market for around $ 2,200 per month – a high price given her financial situation. It was a decision she had taken "in a hurry" because her daughters were in schools near the apartment in Bukit Panjang.

And, she thought, it would only be for a short time. She had successfully applied for a new apartment as part of the 2012 Sale of Balance Flats exercise.

But she received another shot of her ex-husband: he refused to declare that he would not buy a subsidized apartment in three years

At the time, only a portion of a divorced couple could buy or own subsidized housing during those first three years. The policy has been lifted since March 6, 2018 to help divorced with children through an "already difficult transition period". But at the time, the intransigence of her ex-husband has dashed his hopes

The proceedings of his daughters in his name could not touch him, and his request had to be canceled. "If something happens to me, where will they go?" Worries the mother "very disappointed" and "lost".

SINCE A ROOM AT THE TWO-ROOM APARTMENT

A year of rent, his savings were down, even with his 40% share of the proceeds from the sale of the house. A four-room matrimonial apartment in 2012.

That and his monthly salary of $ 900 S as patient care attending a polyclinic would not cover both the rent and the education of his daughters, as well as their living expenses, for a long time.

Thus, in May 2012, the family asked for a public apartment to rent from HDB. While the policy generally prohibited people from applying within 30 months of the sale of their HDB apartment, the Housing Office examines applicants' needs and options on a case-by-case basis.

In the case of Mdm Vaannii, she was found financially unable to buy an apartment and without other options – and the requirement was therefore waived. They received an apartment in December

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Living in a rental apartment seemed to be in limbo, but they were doing as much as possible.

Her eldest daughter, Vinothinnii, now 26, remembers the day she saw their two-room apartment in Clementi for the first time. It was a reality after staying in a four-room apartment with his own bedroom

We walked in, and I sat in a corner, hands on his head

"Like this Was small, are we going to live here? ", She thought.

She remembers that they cried by storing their personal belongings, such as photo albums and soft toys, for them. The value, mainly two boxes of saris, was the most painful part of the movement.

"All saris make sense," she says, "most of them my father “/>

Much of their belongings, including photo albums and cherished sarees, had to be stored in a warehouse

Yet, although they felt like they were safe. they were in limbo over the next five years, they managed with the temporary

And at the beginning of the In 2016, it seemed that things could get up when Ms. Vinothinnii started working full time as an operation.

The problem: their monthly rent, indexed to household income, has been reduced from S $ 275 to S $ 495 after one year of work.

Part of his salary of A $ 2,500 a month was spent in part-time studies at the Singapore Institute of Management. The rent increase was not something that they could afford.

Ms. Vinothinnii even contemplated dividing the family and moving to a relative's home, in the hope that the rent would stay as it was.

The uncertainty of their situation so affected her mother that she decided that it was time to try again to own her own house and to ask for an apartment together with his mother

"I've always wanted a house under his own name,"

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A FRESH START AND A HAPPINESS

The turning point in research a permanent home by the family is not quite as they expected it.

While he was submitting a sale request for balance apartments in November 2016, an HDB agent suggested to Mdm Vaannii to apply for an apartment under the new housing program Fresh Start

. 16 years old, who live in public rental apartments and have subsidized housing previously owned. It gives them the opportunity to own a home again – in particular, two-room apartments with flexible leases between 45 and 65 years old, which are more affordable than standard two-room apartments with 99-year leases.

important opportunity for the family because of their difficult financial situation. The apartment would also be endowed with a subsidy of up to S $ 35,000

and in December Mdm Vaannii applied to benefit from the program with her two daughters, one of whom was to be married. one – Mrs Visalini – was 15 years old at the time

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Vinothinnii and Visalini.

In the space of one month, the family received a letter from the HDB: their request for sale of Balance Flats was rejected because their position in the queue. waiting exceeded the available apartment offer. But the Fresh Start application came into effect.

Three months later, they received the official letter of approval. Mdm Vaannii could ask for an apartment – and become owner again. Her eldest daughter said, "When she was accepted with Fresh Start, she was the happiest woman."

HELPING TO MAKE A TRUE DREAM

But she lived with uncertainty for so long Even in the midst of her joy, Mdm Vaannii could not get rid of the feeling d & # 39; disbelief. Not even when they chose their two-room apartment.

I kept asking, "Are you sure you choose my apartment? Am I really going to buy an apartment?

Fresh Start applicants must meet a set of criteria to "ensure that they are committed and ready for homeownership," according to the HDB. For example, they need to qualify for a social assessment letter from the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF), which would assess the stability of their family, their ability to manage their finances and the regularity of school attendance. children.

Vaannii made the cut. Hers is one of 70 families who have found a home as part of this project up to now.

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And for her to take full advantage of this "dream come true," the HDB and MSF officers were on hand. offer help. As she said, "From nowhere, someone popped up and said," Hey, I'm here to help. "

For example, HDB senior Johnson Lim estate manager helped him develop his housing budget, which consisted mainly of the Central Provident Fund (CPF) savings, a concessional HDB loan (subject to $ 50,000). a credit assessment) and the Fresh Start Grant for Housing, of which 20,000 Singapore Dollars would be credited to its CPF account in advance. Key aspects of this regime are financial sustainability, "said Lim. "What I'm trying to do is understand the situation of the applicants and propose a housing plan according to their situation."

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The family with Johnson Lim, one of the officers who helped them.

The apartment cost Singaporean $ 133,000 to Mdm Vaannii, after incorporation of a reduced resale tax of S $ 16,700 on the basis of the 60-year lease period. And she opted for an apartment with all the finishes, which will help save on renovation costs.

While they were waiting for the day they could finally move in, her family was barely able to contain herself. They went for walks in his brother-in-law's van to see their new block at Bukit Batok take shape

"Every week, without fail," Vinothinnii said with a smile. "They have to see if the house is fine, if the building is good, they even inspected the car parks."

HOME SOFT HOUSE, FINALLY

When the time came to recover his new set of keys, Mdm Vaannii was visibly nervous – but above all, moved. As were his daughters. Ms. Vinothinnii burst into tears as she walked down the hallway to their apartment

"Tears of Joy," she manages to say. "The fight finally paid off."

With her family acclaimed behind her, Mdm Vaannii opened the door of her new home. Naked as she was, excited cries filled every corner as the family invaded the apartment.

Taking a moment for herself, Mdm Vaannii was standing by the window to admire the greenery on the outside. "I start again, after a long time, to have our own house," she says, with tears in her eyes.

I am so happy.

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A teary Vaannii Mdm enjoys the sight of his new apartment for the first time.

In fact, it will be their home for at least 20 years, the minimum period of occupancy under the Fresh Start program. Ms. Visalini, now 17, is looking forward to family reunions here, while her older sister is ruminating ideas for renovation.

Their mother plans to do one thing first: take out her sarees from the warehouse for good. "There is a storage room (here), so we can put a closet there," she said. "I'm going to hang the saris, only the saris."

In the place she can finally call her own house, sweet house.

This story was made in collaboration with Gov.sg. [19659002]

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