Graduate in Psychology tells 3 years of struggle with the acceptance of mental illness

In a country where stigma and discrimination against mental illnesses are rampant, admitting that a person is suffering from a mental illness is probably a difficult pill to swallow. But after President Rodrigo Duterte signed the Mental Health Act, Zildjian Athelstane Velasco Yaneza, a graduate in psychology, finally found the courage to share her three-year journey to accept her mental health condition.

It took me 3 years – to find the courage to meet my needs and for myself. It took 3 years – to accept, to learn. It took 3 years – to honor my weakness as my strength, "said Yaneza in a Facebook post that she made on Friday, July 6th, which became viral. The position garnered about 9,900 mentions I'd like, 4,100 shares and more than 800 comments, so far.

Yaneza remembers the first time that she was diagnosed with mental illness in December 2014: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). She shared her experience of introducing herself to the Department of Outpatients Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Medicine of the University of the Philippines (UP-PGH), after months of insomnia and restlessness, associated with anxiety attacks.

After her diagnosis, she received the medication she needed. However, she thought she could do without her medication, so she refused to take them. It was then that things became a bit more problematic for her.

"I started to self-harm: I cut my wrists, I let it bleed. Paranoia, illusion. I wanted to die. I prayed loudly for him to claim my life. My thoughts became [obsessed] on the thoughts of dying; I got tired of pleasing everyone, of not being good enough, of not respecting the "norms". Paralyzing thoughts and anxiety have overwhelmed me.

She was again taken to UP-PGH in May 2015 for ten days in the psychiatric ward. She said that she had not told anyone about her internment because she was afraid of the stigma attached to it. It's during that time that she was diagnosed with "Bipolar Disorder Type 1 Most Recent Disorder (MRE) with Psychotic Episode, Borderline Personality Traits (BPD) and PTSD."

"I remember how much I cried a lot I literally did not sleep for 9 days while still attending classes, and I had a lot of shit talk with some from my classmates, ex-abusive partners, etc., "Yaneza said. "It has cost me a lot – it's bad when you expect people to think you understand that you are playing the" ignorant "card and that you said they did not know such a thing when all time, they are the reason, I understand the resistance of my loved ones to accept what I am confronted with, because [to be honest] I myself had a hard time coping with it. "

Yaneza admitted to having tried to end her life last month, and later realized that suicide is never the answer.

The psychology graduate doubted herself and said that she was not the only one. she lost her self-esteem on the way: " Sobrang taba ko na daw eh," di na maganda ?? Ha ha. Pakiramdam ko wala akong karapatang mahalin ng tao kasi wala akong kwenta. Na wala akong silbi. Na wala akong mapatunayan. Na wala lang ako . "

(They say I'm too big [because of the medications] and I'm no longer beautiful?" I felt like I did not deserve to be loved anymore because I'm not worth anything. I have nothing to prove, I am nobody.)

Yaneza also deplores the use of the word "bipolar" as an adjective and even as a joke, as it undermines the real meaning of the word "bipolar" " Mahirap piliin mabuhay kung ang nakikita mong lahat ng rason his paligid mo eh gusto mo na mawala lang ," she said. (It's hard to make the choice to live when all this that you can see is a reason why you do not see it.)

"I always complain when I wake up from a trance sleep because I regret not doing it. It's a constant battle of living and leaving.

The psychiatry student also shares the comments related to the mental illness she faced: " pa pa pa yan bipolar ka? Paano mo magagawang mag- Physician? / Di ka makakakuha ng trabaho kasi can saltik ka / nakikinabang ka lang naman sa iba eh / choice mo naman his mga taong nasa paligid mo? "

(How can you become a doctor when you are bipolar? / You will not get any work because you are crazy / you only benefit from d & # 39; other people / it's your choice, anyway / do not you have pity for the people around you?)

Yaneza then shared his greatest teachings throughout his three years to fight against the acceptance of mental illness. Physical health, having a mental illness is not a choice, and suicide is not the solution because help is available for those who need it.

Outreach and acceptance of his condition by Yaneza reflects the growing concern of the various actions of organizations to achieve mental health patients love it. The Youth Coalition for Mental Health Inc., for its part, invites interested candidates to join the youth team that will draft the Rules and Regulations for RA 11036 or the RA 11036. Philippine Mental Health Act. Filipino youth interested can join the Coalition Consultation Group. JB

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