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It’s that time of year again: A big publication has decided that kids are playing too many games, and this time it’s a COVID-flavored special, courtesy of The New York Times, designed for kids to play. parents feel guilty for letting their energetic kids play video games after being locked up all day in online school.
I won’t pretend that video games are in fact perfect, although it’s tempting to step up to defense here. There are many predatory practices in games, such as microtransactions and game mechanics that can easily entice children to become addicted. Additionally, the last two generations – the ones who grew up with technology – are so used to having everything served on a screen that we often find it difficult to be alone with ourselves for a period of time without one in front of us. . Yes, we all take our phones to the bathroom. Yes, we play Switch on the couch while we watch movies. Can you blame us? Technology is so delicious and life is so short.
But I want these posts to take into account the perspective of children. They are bored! They’re stuck inside! They miss their friends! Where is the empathy for this generation of children who are spending a significant portion of their lives in a global pandemic, where nothing they do is right, learning is next to impossible and governments keep rewriting the rules?
Honestly, if I was a kid through all of this, I would have rioted.
It’s not really a hyperbolic statement when I say video games have kept me sane during all of this. If this pandemic had happened in the early 2000s, I would only have been in contact with my pals through MSN Messenger, limited to short bursts of text and spamming the faded pink emoji to symbolize how sad we were. I would have had my tiny library of Game Boy Advance games to keep me entertained. I probably would have read more books, but these are books I had read before, anyway.
In 2020, I can ping my friends on Discord and run around a virtual world with them in minutes.
The NYT article refers to increased online use associated with anxiety, depression, obesity and aggression, which – in my experience – may be true. Going on Twitter makes me anxious. Trying to beat a tough platform game, like Guacamelee or Ori and the Blind Forest, makes me stressful. Playing games all day and not going out makes me gain weight.
Do you know what else is true? Relaxing with Hades actively helps me when I am anxious, as it gives me something to hyperfocus on. Playing Ring Fit Adventure every morning not only helps me stay in shape, but also helps me actively want to go out and exercise more. Streaming games help me feel less alone in a pandemic where I’m estranged from almost all of my friends.
A few weeks ago around New Years Eve, I played with us for the first time with a group of friends. Haven’t seen them for a year and a half – they live in England, I live in Canada, and we are in a pandemic, so taking flights across the ocean for a cup of tea and a stroll is frowned upon .
Now, I’ve never murdered any of those friends on a spaceship in real life, so take that with a pinch of salt, but when we play games together it feels a lot like hanging out. Even when these games are about betrayal and lying (which I have done very successfully, by the way). We also play Dungeons and Dragons together, watch Bridgerton together, and have fun in co-op games like Animal Crossing and PHOGS !, when we can find the time. I don’t feel like I’m trapped in a house, across the sea, unable to get out – I feel like I have a rich (albeit virtual) life.
My partner and I spend most of our evenings in front of a screen. Sometimes we do puzzles while watching a movie; sometimes we play Final Fantasy VII remake together; sometimes we get some friends together to get demolished at Puyo Puyo Tetris. The key is moderation – we also cook together, walk around town, and have most of our dinners at the table. We’ve even banned phones at bedtime, so we read or talk instead. This balance has been hard won and we are slipping a lot. But when we lived apart for the first few months of the pandemic, we played Minecraft for hours together. This time was no less quality than the time we spend without a screen. The game has enriched our lives and our relationships, and life would be very different without it.
Watching a group of children grow more depressed and worried unprecedented global pandemic, then blaming said depression on gambling – their only outing, and perhaps their primary means of socializing – is mean and unfair, and it comes from a place of fear of what we don’t understand.
I grew up with games. I understand their appeal and their dangers. I’m not going to pretend I know anything about parenting, because I’ve never had a child (although I once was), so I won’t teach anyone a lesson on how to raise children. I know these plays are written for exasperated parents, who want their fears confirmed when their child has a temper tantrum over turning off Wi-Fi. I get it.
But children are also people. They are alone, they are probably scared and they want a way to escape for a little while. Do you remember how stressful being a kid was? It doesn’t seem like much to adults, who have real responsibilities and jobs, but having to go to school every day is wayyyy more demanding than most jobs, where you do much of what you’re good at and get paid for it. There’s a social dynamic to navigate, basic human functions to understand, and the gruesome wave of puberty looming, all the while trying to remember the death of Henry VIII. Wouldn’t you like to play games at the end of this too?
Yeah, we would all prefer the kids to be outside, running around, making friends and basking in the sun. Right now, however, we are all trying to survive through it, physically and mentally. Video games aren’t scary. They are not bad. They are just another way to keep you entertained, and a lot of them are just right very well.
I keep thinking about that single quote from the NYT article:
The family dog died on New Years Eve, and James said playing games with his friends helped keep him from thinking about the loss. It concerned his mother, Kathleen Reichert, who felt that her son was escaping the emotions of real life.
“What are you going to do when you are married and stressed out? Tell your wife you need to play Xbox? She said to her son during the interview.
Look, one day this kid is going to grow up and maybe marry someone. He will always play Xbox because it was his childhood. He will likely still play games to connect with friends and deal with his emotions. Is this the healthiest way to cope? Maybe not. Is it better than not facing at all? You bet your butt. I just hope this kid finds a woman he can say, “I’m gonna play Xbox,” and she gets it. Maybe she’ll even join them.
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