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"Do not lose track!"
President Trump has worked hard to stem and clamp down on the various investigations surrounding him, leaving him open to charges of obstructing justice, according to a New York Times report released this week. He has also publicly attacked the investigation more than 1,100 times since taking office, the Times found. (When the article came out, Trump remained true to form: He saved it.)
Stephen Colbert highlighted part of the report that points out that Trump's behavior has gradually become the norm for many Americans. Colbert urged his viewers not to get used to the president's behavior.
Purdue Pharma, the Sacklers' company, aggressively marketed the drug to doctors, sometimes with the help of exotic dancers. Noah commented on a pharmaceutical executive and a former stripper who allegedly bribed and sexually involved doctors that she was trying to persuade to prescribe more opioids.
"That's right, this pharmaceutical company did not just buy doctors to put pressure on opioids; they sent strippers to bribe the doctors. And let me just say, when a stripper starts to pay you, something fishy happens. It makes no sense, it makes no sense. It's like a crack that asks you for $ 5. "Hey, brother, it looks like you might need some help. Come on, man, take it! '"- TREVOR NOAH
"This family would have earned $ 4 billion by allegedly lying about opioid addiction. That's the harm directly. If your product is addictive, you to have be honest about it. I mean, that's why we always start our show with a disclaimer: "Do not consume more than three episodes of" The Daily Show "if you're addicted to Africans with dimples." Very well? I could be a billionaire if I did not show this warning. I have to do that." – TREVOR NOAH
"Neva happen-da"
Seth Meyers pointed to a new and growing popular argument about Fox News: Trump may not have to declare a national emergency for the construction of the border wall (a decision that could anyway be overturned by federal courts, The Democratic president could invoke emergency powers to fight climate change.
According to Meyers, the situation is the real emergency.
"C & # 39; What's worrying you? It's like saying: would have give a dollar to this homeless person, but you know he will use it to print his resume and find a job. & # 39; & # 39; – SETH MEYERS
Meyers played a Trump clip trying to persuade Chris Wallace, the Fox News host, that the worsening of the California wildfires is not due to climate change, but to the lack of maintenance of the forest. The president claimed that a governor had told him that picking up the leaves under the trees would help solve the problem. (He would not name the governor.)
"Why do not you say what state it was? It seems to me that if a governor knew how to stop forest fires with a rake, he would like to know his name. Is it because they come from Neva-happen-da? "- SETH MEYERS
Meyers then filmed a Trump rally where the president warned that supporters of the Green New Deal wanted to stop people from owning cows.
"Dude, Trump is getting really desperate. In two years, he went from "they will take your weapons" to "they will take your cows". Nobody forbids cows. You know what's called that? False moos. "- SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punchlines (Fantasy Football Edition)
"After a guy in Dallas finished last in his fantasy football league, have you heard about it? – he had to go to a dog park covered with peanut butter. Her friends laughed and then worried about her coming back the next day. "- JIMMY FALLON
"I have read the story of a vegan woman who recently married and banned all meat eaters from her marriage. Then his friends and family said, "Oh, no, we are not allowed to your vegan wedding? What a shame. "" – JIMMY FALLON
"The Bernie Sanders campaign announced that in the 12 hours following the launch of his presidential candidacy, Sanders had raised more than $ 4 million in donations, which is great for Sanders. Perfect for Sanders, but terrible for the guy behind him at Coinstar. "- SETH MEYERS
The bits to watch
In the Late Show, Kermit the Frog has become a symbol of the Green New Deal. He promised not to kill all the cows. (May be.)
Noah asked Senator Kamala Harris if she was ready for the frivolity that would inevitably greet her during the presidential campaign.
What fascinates us on Thursday evening
"Desus & Mero," the irreverent late-night show hosted by two young Bronx-born comics, will debut at Showtime on its new weekly slot machine. The representatives of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will be their first guest.
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