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The moment you sit at this table and lean back in, because a relaxed evening with friends is finally about to begin – and all of a sudden all meet: It will not work. Because there is war on one side of the table.
She fires a dart of poisoned darts in her approximate direction, he pushes her away, she is hit, he is annoyed, she does not say a word for the rest of the evening. The couples stop. All the other couples are sitting there, embarrassed and thinking: You ruin your evening. And then they sit very embarrassed and think that they should not think of something so selfish. Because they are friends.
Such nights. Nobody likes it, everyone says it's unpleasant, but says nothing, all secretly stare at their cell phones and spend the minimum of minutes to stay polite before saying goodbye to this table of bad luck, to return home side by side on the couch and to give up
Couples arguing in the semi-public of those who love them are the plague. How should participants react to their Zoff? Ignoring would be ignorant, discussing the problem of the relationship in eight is unacceptable. Then the couple spreads their misery before a round that can not do anything, but who has to endure the situation for hours. It's ruthless. On the other hand, did not they quarrel?
The eternal "You have …" – "No, you do not stop saying …"
I knew a radiant Couple, great hosts too . Saying we were invited to dinner from time to time would not do it. We were invited to productions from Essen, in which the invitations acted as the main actor. But I only see that today, at that time I thought it was real. He would never have rolled his eyes on anything that she said. Not once did she hit a high pitch because she was bored with him. They told stories of compromise, but they obviously did so as accomplices: in the end, they both laughed. They did not argue, they teased each other. It's a fine, but a huge difference. A couple who teases after ten years of relationship, laughs together and flirts with each other without restraint, sends a message of hope to all: Look, it's okay, you do not have to be disappointed and bitter!
On the other hand, in these towers, many people who thought about petty quarrels at home were forever "You have …" – "No, you always say …", and a little depressed . That's why these fun and funny nights have always had a little after-taste.
I learned from third parties that they were separating. It was apparently that he had business over and over again; After a couple therapy, they decided by mutual agreement to end the relationship. I confess: After the first shock, I soon had the impression of having been fooled. Since you spent so much time together, and everything was fake?
But maybe that's not true. Today, I think the evenings with us were the only times they were allowed to be the newly-loving couple that they once were – excited viewers of their own staging. I am almost certain that during these few hours they believed in their luck
The Secret of a Happy Relationship
The question of whether you can have such a relationship is another case. More precisely, if only they had quarreled and if it had cost us the evening! In my experience, the secret of a good relationship is not to argue. The secret is to discuss, if necessary violently, then to reconcile. You can not choose the moment, and if others have to believe it, it's like that.
There may be couples, smiling for a whole evening, then gagging their teeth. But I suppose that if two people are able to cover their deepest and most violent feelings in society, then they will continue to do so when they are together again. And you are stuck in your own charade, in the most stupid case for life. Who wants that?
Not a good move, but a good feeling
So, fight against others: Do you really want to disturb them with their private bullshit? Oh, what? First of all, you do not need to deploy the whole battle, secondly, there are friends who will be able to support it, and thirdly, there is nothing more pleasant for them. couples to watch other couples quarreling.
We think of the petty quarrels at home and we say with relief that other relationships are ultimately not more generous, glamorous, happier than his. This is not a good idea. But a good feeling anyway.
(Tages-Anzeiger)
created: 17.07.2018, 23:12
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