Hardee's new Tinder promotion is the saddest food deal in the world

Every day, I review a lot of dreadful stuff in my inbox, but the one I received this week stopped me in my scrolling tracks. So sad, so pathetic and so desperately desperate, this promotion was covered on its own. Here's the basics, according to a press release: Hardee's asks you to open the Band-Aid-filled baby pool that's called Tinder, matching an imaginary character from Hardee and In exchange, you will receive a QR code for a single purchase. – a small combination of tender chicken 5 pieces. (The knowledge that you exchanged your human dignity for BOGO chicken fillets is probably also included.)

But wait, there is more! The character you hope to associate with is Chris P. – get it, crunchy? – a nickname that caused Take away Staff sigh "oh my god" in unison during our morning meeting. His profile, consisting of the classic selfie with mirror and the indispensable dog picture, describes him as "super tender and 100% real! Looking for someone who has the taste to have fun in good health. "His interests? "Traveling, Podcasts, NetChix [sic] and relax. "Ughhhhhhhhhh guyyyyyyyyyys What if you recently joined Tinder after a sudden breakup?" You temporarily soak your toes in the terrifying app for water outlets, but you're mostly playing with matches until That's a match – except Chris P., Hardee's imaginary mascot – it's overwhelming.

I'm not sure if I can write about it later, so let's put it to the brink – this promotion starts tomorrow; I can not believe that in 2018 we would be subject to this level of indignity promoted by the brand in exchange for BOGO fast food chicken; This has prompted me to consider removing all my digital presence.