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Saturday Night Live once again opened with a fake talk show, a device that allows the show to skewer a trio of disgraceful public figures.
This week it was Ted Cruz (Aidy Bryant), Andrew Cuomo (Pete Davidson) and Gina Carano (Cecily Strong) invited to a talk show called Opps, you did it again, hosted by Britney Spears (Chloe Fineman).
Cruz was at the center of a media storm this week after it was revealed that he and his family flew from Texas to Cancun for a vacation, just as the state was in the middle of an emergency when the bitter cold has left millions of people without electricity.
“You literally gave up [Texas] and flew to Cancun for a family vacay-sh, ”Spears grilled.
“That’s right. And now I’m in some hot water, what I’m being told is something that no one in Texas has,” said Cruz.
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“Would you like to apologize?” Spears asked.
“Absolutely. I deeply regret my actions over the past two days, most of which have been flying with United,” said Cruz. “I’m sorry, I’m pretty bad at people.”
Spears then asked, “You don’t understand why people call you a coward?”
“Yeah, a coward is actually the nicest word I’ve heard,” said Cruz.
Spears then enters Cruz’s initial explanation to explain why he went to Cancun: to be a “good father” and to accompany his daughters on their trip.
“Would a coward have the cajones to blame his actions on his young daughters?” You blamed your daughters! she asked.
“Oh yeah, the whole trip was the girls idea. They love Cancun. There is so much to do. The beach topless. Plans on Senor Frogs. Swim with sick dolphins. They love it. “
Spears then replied, “As someone who often blamed other people’s problems at a young age – maybe let your girls out of it, because it might really mess their heads up.”
The next guest is Cuomo, who is trying to deal with the controversy over how he handled nursing homes during the Covid-19 pandemic. New York State has acknowledged that the number of deaths at these facilities is grossly underestimated.
“Some of the people who died in nursing homes were not counted as deaths in retirement homes. They were counted as hospital deaths, which is basically what happens at Disney World. People are dying and they are moving bodies. They say, “I guess Brenda died in the parking lot, not the tea cups.” So we just did the Disney thing.
“Don’t you think you should apologize?” Spears asked.
“Yeah,” Cuomo said reluctantly.
“What was that?” Spears asked.
“I mentionned I was sorry, ”he replied.
“See, it wasn’t that hard. Bill de Blasio says you should be investigated.
“I would love to bury him in the tallest tomb this city has ever seen!” Cuomo said, relapsing into indignation. “I’m going to hire a bum to Rick Moranis him so tough he’ll think he’s back in pre-k Universal!” I am sorry. I get a little angry every now and then.
The last guest was Carano, who was fired from The Mandalorian after posting a statement on Instagram comparing beaten Jews in Nazi Germany to the treatment of conservatives in America.
“I didn’t do anything wrong,” Carano said. “No one can even explain what I did wrong. Explain it. “
Spears replied, “Okay, on Instagram you said the Tories got it as bad as the people living in Nazi Germany.”
“Okay, congratulations, you explained that. I never would have made this comparison if I had known everyone was going to be so Nazi about it.
“Do you feel like a victim of the culture of cancellation?” Spears asked.
“Absolutely. And I got canceled by Disney? Disney is the moral hotspot? Have you recently heard Br’er Rabbit’s focus on Splash Mountain hike?” She replied.
Cuomo then interrupted, “Well, if you die on it, they’ll move the body.”
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