The 23 bagel flavors that matter, ranked from worst to best (2021 update)

For us New Jersey, National Bagel Day is NBD.

We don’t choose a single day to celebrate the bagel. It is a way of life. A daily fact. A constant. One of the many reasons to live in New Jersey is amazing.

But for everyone, it’s Friday January 15th. All right, I guess we can participate.

But rather than telling you why New Jersey bagels are better than everyone else’s (including New York ones), we’re going to engage in a bigger debate: which bagel flavor is better?

I ranked bagel flavors in 2018. Almost three years later, I’ve eaten even more bagels (way too many, probably) and have more perspective and appreciation for our baked beauties. So I have some adjustments. Here is the updated list.

23. Salt

Dead last before, dead last again. I was shocked at how many people love these things, I got real hate mail for it in 2018. Salt is great on a hot pretzel and a staple component of an everything bagel. But alone? No. Pass on the salt.

22. Oat bran

Stop trying to make bagels healthy. They are not in good health! With all due respect to the Quaker Oats man, oats have no place in a bagel. Unless the bagel is for a horse. In this case, I fully support it.

21. Spinach

Popeye the bagel man? He probably likes this bagel. I do not. Vegetables are great in cream cheese, but not in the bagel itself. It doesn’t really taste like spinach, it just tastes bad and the texture is undesirable.

20. Marbled rye

Fantastic for an episode of “Seinfeld” no matter if you are having breakfast. If I wanted pastrami on a bagel, I would put it on it. I don’t often put pastrami on a bagel. Caraway seeds are powerful to say the least and the texture is too soft. Points for being creative, but it doesn’t really work like a daily bagel.

19. Blueberry

The blueberry muffins are wonderful. Blueberry bagels are not. No matter where you get one, it will taste like a shitty Thomas bagel from the bread section of a grocery store. They look like bagels made by Smurfs.

18. Rainbow

If unicorns could make bagels they would look like this. Unicorns shouldn’t be making bagels. Super trendy in recent years, although it’s actually just plain bagels with food coloring. Too much hype, not enough flavor.

17. Chocolate chip

Chocolate chips are amazing in just about everything. Unfortunately, not so much in bagels. The novelty works for a little while, but it’s ultimately too sweet for a bagel. Stick to muffins, chips!

16. Whole wheat

You will start to see a trend here. Bagel time is not the time to start counting calories. If you want to ease the guilt of carbohydrate loading by switching to whole wheat, by all means. It couldn’t be me.

15. Pumpernickel

Perfect for lox and cream cheese. A little salty for some tastes, but definitely a classic and visually appealing.

14. Cheddar cheese

Call it a bagel, but it tastes more like a roll with melted cheese on it. So that was really good. I love the texture, although bagel purists might be kidding. Still, you can do better.

13. Jalapeño

If you want a bagel that makes your business jalapeño with spices, you’ve come to the right place. Otherwise go for it. Super tasty and unique, a southwestern omelet is a perfect pairing with this spicy boy.

12. Plain

I ranked them up to # 2 when I did it years ago, and my friends have been laughing at me ever since. Listen, call me old fashioned but I still love them. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Flavored bagels are great and all, but sometimes you just need the original. The simple perfection of the bagel’s crispy exterior and chewy middle takes center stage, or you have a blank canvas for toppings like cream cheese and butter. Yeah, there are toppings that I want if I have a choice. But if your bagel isn’t ordinary, it won’t be good no matter what you put in or in it.

11. Poppy seed

The seeds go everywhere (and get stuck in your teeth) but the subtle flavor is really nice. A solid choice, but not before a job interview or a first date.

10. French toast

It is soft. It is soft. It’s probably more expensive than a regular bagel, but it’s worth it. Try it and you will understand. If you’re going for a sweet rather than a salty bagel, you might as well give it a go. Have you ever had a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich? You are welcome.

9. Egg

The added egg not only gives the bagel a richer flavor and yellow tint, but adds protein and vitamins! Maybe I’m an advocate for healthy bagels after all. At least when they taste good! They’re also a bit softer than standard bagels and make a great base for bacon, eggs, and cheese.

8. Cinnamon grape

These bagels never really taste like cinnamon to me, but I love them anyway. They are not too sweet, the raisins add a nice chewy texture and overall a nice change from the classic savory flavors. I have a friend who swears by peanut butter on a cinnamon raisin, who is just crazy enough to work.

7. Bialy

Technically not a bagel? Technically, I don’t care. Different in shape than any other bagels with a bump in the middle as opposed to a hole, filled with onions, garlic and poppy seeds. Not conducive to really cutting, nor to put any type of spread. But you don’t need it. The onion and garlic goodness in the middle is all you need.

6. Onion

The grilled onion is delicious, pairs well with bagel and especially cream cheese if you go this route. You won’t be doing your breath any favors, but your taste buds will thank you.

5. Any whole wheat

All the bagels are amazing! Whole wheat bagels are rubbish. The bottom line is, the whole bagel has the dominant genes in the equation and brings that bagel to respectability.

4. Garlic

Perfect for everyone except vampires. There’s not too much garlic, especially in Jersey, and there’s something very satisfying about that tasty crunch in your bagel. Delicious.

3. Sesame

If you want just one topping on a bagel, go for sesame seeds. A good crunch and a nice warm flavor that complements just about anything you put in it.

2. Any egg

The egg bagels are fantastic. All the bagels are wonderful. So it’s no surprise that this is really excellent. Take all the goodness together and add the richness of the egg to the base. Brilliant.

1. Everything

The king remains the king. When reviewing rankings, this was never questioned. Whoever invented this beautiful concoction deserves a Nobel Peace Prize at breakfast time. The sesame, garlic, onion, and salt on a bagel might not make sense, but it’s the best bagel second to none, with each flavor complementing the next. And if you can’t choose from all the flavors of bagels, why not have a bit of everything?

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Jeremy Schneider can be reached at [email protected]. Tell us your coronavirus story or send a tip here.