"The Bachelor" recap: a team match is taking place

This seems to be the season of The single person where all that Chris Harrison says in the promos is actually true. In the Monday night episode, four of the remaining seven competitors engaged in a battle to accuse their rivals of lying, a hubbub that encouraged Colton's growing paranoia to be trusted. The insult this season is to accuse other women of not being "ready" for marriage, which seems to be a reality for Colton, who has repeatedly stated that his greatest fear is to propose to a woman who will leave shortly after the end of the season. But while Colton fears a possible future dumping, he has earned an unfortunate honor in the present: he has now been cast more than any other Bachelor in the history of the series.

Last week, I told how two of Colton's candidates left the series in two weeks, putting him in a bad position. Yes, from time to time, women leave The single personbut they usually do it early, when they realize they're not made for reality TV. The only other single to have lost two competitors so late in the season was Juan Pablo, who was known around the world as The Worst Bachelor. But Monday night, Colton lost a third competitor, making an ignominious story. Heather – the candidate who had never been kissed before the show – told Colton that she just did not think their relationship was at a point where she felt comfortable introducing her to her family. It's a conversation we've heard dozens of times on this show, but usually from the leader. Rarely has a competitor ever chosen not to visit his hometown even before being officially invited.

From one side, I understand. Heather took 23 years to kiss a boy. Of course, she will not feel comfortable getting married to a boy after three months. I mean, we have already learned that this woman has already had a strong eight-month relationship during which she never kissed her boyfriend. (Eight months! You can have the majority of a baby at that time!) But on the other side … this woman finally decided that she was comfortable talking with someone, a position that she had never even taken with her eight-month-old boyfriend – and then she immediately decided that this guy, the one she was waiting all her life for to kiss, was he abandoned?

To be fair, none of the three women who broke up with Colton seemed to last long anyway. Heather was at a rendezvous where two women received roses and two women were sent home, and these roses seemed intended for Cassie and Hannah G. – that is, both women who Colton clearly loved the season. Colton did not attempt to stop all three starts accurately. But it is striking how many women have been ready to leave. Ten percent of the initial cast of the series and 23 percent of his last 13 women were eliminated.

I was surprised to see how much I enjoyed Colton this season. The worst part of his season has been the jokes that are still virgins, most of which are assaulted by producers and competitors. (And his blank jokes are good!) On Monday night, he pointed to his room and said, "This is where magic does not happen." Classic.) Colton himself was sympathetic and serious. He has not made any obvious mistakes, he has not done anything particularly nasty and he seems to be doing his best. It is a disappointment that he spends so much time worrying about what women are called to break with him – and that these fears seem to have a pretty decent base in reality, because many of the competitors in the series already break with him.

The most dramatic moment of the most dramatic episode of the most dramatic season of all time: The Tayshia / Kirpa / Cassie / Caelynn Kerfuffle

It's time to talk about what everyone has read here: the drama! There was so many tea spilled in the episode of Monday night! Tea kettles! It's like the producers of The single person ordered Arnold Palmer to hold the lemonade! People, what is it, an episode of The single person or the factory of Arizona? So much tea! Colton? More like Col-Tea! (If I do not write "tea" in a Bachelor recap at least 11 times, nobody will trust me. I do not know why.)

Anyway, summary of the drama: the episode of Monday night saw the development of two factions of the tag team, with Tayshia and Kirpa face to face with Cassie and Caelynn. Tayshia launched the opening salvo by insisting that when other contestants announced to Colton that there were "unprepared" women in the series, they meant Cassie and Caelynn. "Cassie and Caelynn are not authentic," Tayshia said. "They talk about being the next Bachelorette, and they are not ready to be engaged." Caelynn, after shredding the gnar, then told Colton that it was a total BS. And when she returned from her date, she told Tayshia that their "friendship was a lie."

Colton did not really know he had to trust Tayshia and Caelynn, but he decided to love them enough to keep them for next week's dates in their home town. But it was not over! Later in the episode, Cassie and Kirpa found themselves on a date with only one remaining rose, and Kirpa continued to argue the story that Cassie and Caelynn do not belong to the series. Caely did not go well: Caelynn, suspecting that Kirpa may have nothing good, crushed the date to take Colton aside and tell him that Kirpa was probably lying. And because Colton loves Caelynn (and honestly Cassie) more than Kirpa, he finally chose to trust Cassie to send Kirpa home.

As far as we can tell, Tayshia was lying outright. If two candidates had a public debate about wanting to become the next Bachelorette, it would probably have been recorded by the ubiquitous Bachelor cameras, and yet we saw no evidence that Cassie and Caelynn had this conversation. Tayshia has therefore invented this story and directed it on two of his most powerful rivals, specifically trying to take on a fear that Colton has publicly expressed on several occasions. It's brutal and incredibly clever.

But part of me think Cassie and Caelynn made talk about that stuff and I just got a beneficial show on TV. At first, Caelynn and Cassie strongly denied having ever had a conversation similar to the one Tayshia was talking about, but later, Cassie hinted that Tayshia had simply "twisted her words". The single person We know that the narrator is not reliable. Sometimes, candidates reveal their true nationality and the show will leave these beautiful images in the editing room. And sometimes, some candidates will get favorable changes to make the story more convincing and make the show more enjoyable. I really can not tell if Tayshia has just unleashed the most vicious calumny in the series 'history, or if Cassie and Caelynn have the most friendly editing in the series' history. But it must be one or the other.

More valiant effort: Kirpa

It seemed odd that Kirpa had thrown himself so heartily into the fray here. In fact, we have not heard of Kirpa until two episodes, when she inspected Colton. She was so crowned that the explanation on her part comically obvious facial injury did not even make an episode. She seemed soft and sweet. And yet here she was falling bombs along the stretch. She played carpet throwing Cassie and Caelynn under the bus, telling the public not to trust the "crying people", as if crying was a choice made by sneaky crooks and not by so upset people that They lived a physical experience. reaction. (It's tied to the vilest thing anyone has said this season, up there with Onyeka, saying that she does not feel bad about hurting Nicole because Nicole is crying every day. )

But I understand. We have already mentioned that the climax of this episode was a four-way date with Heather, Kirpa, Cassie, and Hannah G. – and that Colton obviously loves Cassie and Hannah G. When Heather resigned, Kirpa went east. found alone with two great favorites. She realized that she was not going to win the fair game and therefore started to launch hay producers under the belt.

No, it did not work. But I have to give Kirpa a credit. This date should be one of the most predictable eliminations in recent years. Bachelor memory – but Kirpa aroused enough emotions to keep me intrigued until the final rose broke. I do not think it was in her nature to act as if nothing had happened, but I am proud of her having tried it.

Biggest Snub: Thor, the other Colton dog

The undisputed star of this week's episode was the beautiful, former Labrador Retriever, Sniper. Sniper's is part of Colton Bachelor since his introductory video on Becca's season. At this point, all true Bachelor The fan can recognize Sniper – although Colton himself failed to recognize Sniper when a competitor presented him with a sniper photoshop and his dog.

With Colton back in his hometown, Sniper was able to participate on the first date of the week. It was a great day for the dogs. He had scritches from the remaining seven competitors:

He must have a long and beautiful walk with Colton and Tayshia:

He ate ice cream:

And maybe even better, he had a tennis ball.

This show is supposed to talk about love, and most of the time, it fails. Do not forget that we are in season 23 of this show and that only one of the first 22 singles is currently married to the person who has won their season. I think it's safe to say that Sniper and this tennis ball are the best couple ever produced by the series. This is the type of love that everyone is looking for in the show.

However, one thing bothers me about the perfect Sniper dog day: Sniper is not the only Colton dog. There is also Thor, a 2 year old German Shepherd. Thor is definitely Colton's dog, as evidenced by countless posts on Instagram. (Seriously, they are endless.)

Why was not Thor invited to Colton's big date? Perhaps there is a practical reason, such as that Thor is too energetic or hostile to be surrounded by many strangers, or that Colton was uncomfortable with walking on foot. Denver with two big dogs. But I think The single person should have worked around Thor's needs rather than the other way around. Until someone proves to me that Thor has also received many scratches, an ice cream cone and one or more tennis balls, I will lead his crusade to defend it.

A toast to Hannah B.

The Monday night episode took a disappointing turn when Colton eliminated Hannah B., my second favorite opponent this season behind Demi. Unfortunately, it turned out that there was simply not enough room in this show for two attendees at Miss USA 2018 and / or two women from Alabama, Hannah. So Colton took Hannah B. to a hangar and dropped her, although she did not seem to understand that she was being dumped for 45 good seconds. I would like to say goodbye to Hannah in the only way that seems appropriate to me: a toast.

D & # 39; AGREEMENT. Hahahaha, agree. Well. OK, I have to start it.

What do I write? I have to write a lot of words that sound good. Words that are real. Real words.

D & # 39; AGREEMENT. Hahahahaha, I can not do that!

Let's make a toast at the premiere. Hannah B. made a lot of silly grimaces. That's why, here's a great candidate. And uh, yeah. Roll the tide!

Most enjoyable date: Colton and Ben H.

There comes a time in every season of The single person when the baccalaureate talks to former bachelors to be bachelor. (Again, I'm not sure why this is supposed to be helpful because only one of the last 22 graduates is married to the person who won the show.Normally, it's in the first episode, but this year, everyone was too busy telling Colton he was a virgin to tip him. a spectacle. As you can see, Ben and Colton are excellent Denver buds that hang around constantly.

I understand why The single person They sometimes film conversations in completely empty bars – they want the atmosphere, but the bars are noisy and full of drunk people who could behave like idiots around television cameras. But there is something deeply hilarious for me about this meeting. Because you know that guys like to go to the local watering point at 9:30 in their drabest navy sweatshirt to share some laughter with their best friends in the middle waters.

I said it was a "water hole", right?

The oddest date behavior: everyone on this tourist train

The rendezvous to four women and two rosettes was in the Rocky Mountains, where Colton and the women were riding together on a sightseeing trip. However, it did not seem that anyone really saw the sites. Look how these five idiots lived on a totally empty train:

Heather and Caelynn hung two seats at the window. Meanwhile, Colton, Cassie and Kirpa have all missed dozens of empty rows so they can look over Heather and Caelynn's shoulders for a glimpse of the breathtaking mountain scenery they've been through. I suspect Colton would really appreciate a woman who was really excited about various views of the mountain on a woman who decided to sit in the driveway for a better closeness with him on a shared ride by train five minutes.

Most chic moment: Colton

Colton is a bit of an oenophile. When he does not slap agua with his friends, he drinks white wine. It is therefore logical that during his appointment with Tayshia, the couple went to what appears to be a wine tasting. Let's see Colton's opinion on this wine.

"[[[[Glug Glug Glug]VERY GOOD. He said "very good" as he had just read a book on wine appreciation that tells you everything about the mouth feel, the tasting notes, the terroir and all that people say wine, then on the very last page of the book, it is written: "But if you really like a wine, you should simply say "VERY GOOD" as swiftly as possible when you drink it. "

So, if you're there, watch The single person and trap Trader Joe's brand Pinot boxer, remember: it's chic if you just shout "VERY GOOD" right after your throat clears.