The release schedule of Disney movies made me think of death

On Tuesday, Disney has updated its list of scheduled movie releases, providing exciting new details to fans of Omnicorp, the world's leading producer of sequels, and forcing me to think further than ever in the future.

I am not joking. Three new Star wars the movies are now scheduled for December 2022, 2024 and 2026. The latter is in seven years. If the 22nd amendment stays in the books, a totally different person will be the president. Fifth graders are preparing to finish high school.

And I'll be old as shit.

Expected release dates for the (unlikely number of) Avatar the consequences have even more serious implications. As of today, Disney says Avatar 5 must go out December 17, 2027 … 2027! If I'm still alive, I'll be 40 years old.

Let's be honest, events such as the 2008 financial crisis have conditioned me not to plan too far. At most optimistic, I have goals of two or three years. But there is something concretely disturbing in a date like December 17, 2027. It's a day that will definitely happen, whether we're all here to see it or not.

What will life look like in 2027? Will there still be bees? Coral reefs? Discrete weather seasons that an average person would recognize as "summer" and "winter"? Hard to say, but Disney is almost sure that there will be five. Avatar movies.

And more importantly, what will be my life be like in eight years? I could live on another continent, or be homeless, or run an animal shelter to save donkeys from here. Statistically, I will probably have at least one child. Will they extend my capacity for love beyond my imagination? Will they change all my world? Will they bother me to buy IMAX tickets for Untitled Avatar Sequel Number 4?

And then there is the darkest thought of all.

By the end of 2027, my two parents will be 76 years old. If they are still alive, there is no guarantee that they will be healthy. When 2028 arrives, I hope I can look into my mother's eyes, tell her that I love her, and let her know that the strange dream of James Cameron's cat-cat is finally over.

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