Too Fast Too Fantasy XV: Chocobros Vs. The Volcano

Stop the Regalia, I want to get out. In my quest at finish Final Fantasy XV before this friday, when it disappears from both xbox game pass and my s series, i hit the point of gaming i was dreading. This is the moment when the story takes a 180-degree turn, from a light road trip to a barely recognizable grim treatise on war and sacrifice. Oh my Shiva, I hate this.

A lot happened over the weekend to get me to this point – the boys did light guerrilla warfare, we climbed a volcano twice, ate our way across the mainland, we got our ass kicked by a magnificent dragoon, and made almost 90,000 gil taking photos.

By doing all of this, I racked up 19 hours of play time, which brings me to 26 hours in total. Of those 19 hours, I estimate that only five of them were devoted to historical events. I just couldn’t rush this game and now – as I stare at the prospect of being driven straight into the depressing endgame – I’m so glad I didn’t. I’m pretty sure my reluctance to just do the story came from finding, doing, and seeing a lot things that I missed on my first game.

For example: I had no idea that you could have little one-off side quests with the boys. After completing a hunt in the Galdin Quay area, I rested at a nearby campsite. In the morning, Gladio took me aside and asked me if I was going to run with him in the morning. Of course, I said yes, and the next day he and I had a run on the beach. Noctis has been bitching and moaning all the time because it’s not in the morning, but at the end of the race he said something like “You know, it’s pretty cool at this time”, and the camera turned to figure this out (and I can’t stress this enough) beautiful Wide shot of the entire beach drenched in the sunrise as Gladio said, “If that’s all you remember, that’s good enough for me.” Cue my heart melt. It’s like the game is telling me, “Yes, Ash, you just wasted another five minutes doing something that has nothing to do with your ultimate goal, but hey, you made view an otherwise invisible photo of your favorite location. So if that’s all you get out of it, it was worth it.

I spent all Saturday finding the camps that allowed me to see these little vignettes and learn from them. Final fantasy know for my problems. In one of the Prompto adventures, he asked me to help him take a picture of a catoblepas. Now the catoblepas is a bull-like monster of greek origin that appears in many games, not just Final fantasy series, and for a very long time, I thought it was pronounced “kah-toe-BLEE-pis”. Turns out I’m wrong – it is pronounced “kah-TOE-ble-pas” (which rhymes with the way Strongbad says “fhqwhgads. ”) [Hums] “Go catoblepas, I said go catoblepas.

A special cry to the reader who, in response to my money problems, suggested that I look for Vyv in Lestallum. I completed all the quests he had, and the resulting money returned me in my eyes to healing. This is also why I ended up climbing a volcano twice – once to take a photo of it and twice because once I got off the volcano I got a notification for another quest. Since I was already there, I decided to go up the mountain, burning the rubber of my shoes (and the health bars of the chocobros) to find one of the hidden Royal Arms. I didn’t do much with the Royal Arms in my first game, discouraged by their HP draining properties, but finding one stashed by chance made me obsessed with finding the rest. I already got another optional royal arm which when combined with the ones I got in the main quest puts me at eight out of 13. However, still don’t use them a lot as my Ragnarok continues to drop. do shit pretty easily.

My quest to finish FF15 Before time ran out, I finally had to get back to the story, ending my good times. I hit the part I won’t mess up that I’ll call The Sad Moment. There have been a lot of Final fantasy Sad times that haven’t really felt sad to me, and times that aren’t meant to be sad but are completely gutted. I didn’t feel anything FF7That’s the big surprise (if you know, you know). But I bawled like a newborn when Final Fantasy XIII, Dahj, the son of Sazh Katzroy, has been restored and Sazh – the prankster everyone who happens to be one of the best fucking characters of all Final fantasy cannon – drops to his knees, kisses his son and moans. I wanted to feel something for FF15‘s Sad Moment and I think I did, but more through the voice acting and the visuals of the scene than through the attachment I had to the characters involved.

What made me sadder was that after that moment the game fundamentally changed. No more fun car rides (except through a deus ex canine-ica which will allow me to time travel before the point of no return). The game is now sad boy hours, which sucks.

I have to say I like the way FF15 highlight how different things are now by changing the way you play. That stats boosting food you’re used to eating? Here we go – replaced by Cup Noodles or, if you haven’t bought one like me, a cold box of questionable food. When you do camp, instead of everyone sitting pleasantly around a campfire, the game makes a point of showing Gladio getting up and walking away in disgust to sit alone. Even the images have changed. Instead of being funny selfies or candid shots of the smiling boys, all of Prompto’s captures with his camera are shots of the back of everyone’s head and Noctis hanging in grief.

I’m in chapter 11 of 15 now. Where before I wondered if I would finish on time, I feel pretty good about my chances. So good that I will potentially sabotage myself with a few new goals. I intend to find all the Royal Weapons, including the one hidden in the optional Costlemark Tower mega-dungeon. (I also have a quest for Dino the Jeweler from New Jersey that I’m looking to complete.) Most importantly, I’ll complete all of the character episodes.

I’m pretty sure giving myself all that busy work that distracts from the main quest is a way for me to stave off the inevitable. I don’t want this game to end, especially because I’m cursed with the foreknowledge that its ending is so different and supremely unsatisfying from its start. Yes Final Fantasy XV was just a collection of disparate adventures glued together by a story about the bonds of friendship, he would be considered an all-time greats. But it doesn’t, and without the blessed ability to go back in time and continue to wander, I would consider stopping now. Since I didn’t complete the game when it released and my memory of the endgame is so bleak, I hope there is something that I missed that redeems the story. Maybe the character episodes – which I haven’t experienced yet – help that too. Anyway, I’m in the home stretch with five days left. See you tomorrow everyone.