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Wednesday marked the end of the world as FX closed the book on an American Horror Story eight seasons in the making – but was Apocalypse'S conclusion worth the wait? My guess is that you still need some time to digest what the actual fudge just went down, so let's make sure we're all on the same page.
The first part of the episode explained Cordelia's master plan, most of which we knew, but it was helpful to have a few left blanks filled in: Myrtle kicked things off by antichrist HQ and compelling Jeff and Mutt to free up some space in Outpost 3 … before putting both of those mop-topped morons out of their misery. This fatal encounter was preceded by a classic Horror Story catfight, as Venable Dared question the nature of Myrtle's glorious mane. "My hair is an eternal mystery never to be fully understood," she replied, "You are got to get to hand to Myrtle – she's savage." , even in the face of the apocalypse.
Next, Cordelia cast the infamous identity spell on Coco and Mallory, wiping their minds of all magical memories. In order to keep Mallory 's powers suppressed, Coco' s new personality – modeled after Madison, naturally – was meant to be at every turn. The two actually shared a really sweet moment before having their supernatural lobotomies, with Coco pre-apologizing for mistreating her. "Spell gold no spell, I'd never let anything bad happen to you," Mallory said. "If the world is going to end, at least we'll be together."
This is back to the world with Coco and Mallory arriving at Gallant's salon for the first time. It seems Coco's Uber driver (Madison!) Was a little reckless, resulting in a wind-blown mess that would take all afternoon to fix. And would not you know it, she's putting a name to Brock while she was there. (These witches really were responsible for everything, were not they?)
Time jump No. 2 returned to Mallory and Michael's confrontation in Outpost 3, which apparently signaled Cordelia, Myrtle and Madison to rise from their years-long dirt nap. As As confirmed by By Mad Mad Out By) By) By) By) By) By) By) By) By) By) By) By) By) By) By) By) final showdown with Michael.
As expected, that traitorous Oprah-wannabe Dinah Stevens refused to fight by Cordelia's side, claiming to always pick the winning team. Little did she know, Cordelia never intended to align herself with Dinah; through the magic of yet another freaking flashback, we learned that Cordelia promised to hand Dinah's soul over to Papa Legba in exchange for the release of – you guessed it – the OG voodoo queen, Marie Laveau. (The fact that Angela Bassett's name appeared on screen, but it was still damn good to see Marie back in action.)
At this point, it looks like smooth sailing for the witches. Marie made quick work of Dinah, Cordelia whispered a spell that blew Mead into a million little pieces, and Madison used the robot's severed arm-gun to make bloody swiss cheese out of Michael's torso. But just when the ladies were ready to start popping bubbly, go along with Brock (ugh !!!) to gut a big deal with a cleaver and spoil her big time-travel plan. Brock was appropriately punished, burning alive at Myrtle's hands, but it was not long before the witches also dropped dead. A revived Michael beheaded Madison ("Oh, f-k, I'm guessing it's back to retail!"), Ate Marie's heart right out of her chest, and snapped poor Coco's neck with a flick of his wrist. Myrtle said, "It appears as though we're f-d, my dear."
But Cordelia still had one trick hidden up her sleeve. Do not ask me how Any of this worked, but by sacrificing herself, she revived Mallory, who recited the time-traveling spell and hauled ass back to 2015. A desperate Constance had just kicked Michael out of the house for murdering a priest ("Do you have to kill every single living creature that crosses your path? maim one? "), but she forgot to remind both ways while crossing the street. If she had, perhaps Mallory (!) Would not have run repeatedly (!!!) until he suffered a painful death in the middle of the damn road. (That knowing how to look after the Mallory exchanged with Constance chilling.)
With the Antichrist dead and the thwarted apocalypse, Mallory made tracks for New Orleans, where she enrolled at Miss Robichaux's Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies. Zoe was still alive, working as a teacher, but because Cordelia never revived her to save the world, Myrtle was no longer among the living. Queenie was also still alive, and bragging to everyone about how she was flying to Los Angeles to see The Price is Right ("Plinko all day, ho!"), Though the hotel is nowhere near the studio. (Wink!)
And yet Mallory revealed (via voiceover) that she intended to eventually revive Madison, the movie is still alive. Mallory did, however, use her "blazing street cred" with the denizens of hell to have Misty and Nan brought back to life – even if the last thing to stay by Papa Legba's side. ("I like it down there," said Nan. "Dad lets me play!")
That's when things got … interesting. Mallory's final inner soliloquy can not be over the future, cuing another time jump to 2020. Here, Emily and Timothy – yes, the non-rich couple "chosen" to live in Outpost 3 – puts for the first time at a protest, presumably the one where alternate-timeline Emily was arrested. Anyway, they fell in love (and at least lust) and spawned a healthy baby boy, who turned out to be – wait for it – the Antichrist. Timothy and Emily's house, alongside the Black Pope and Not-Pepper, where the cycle of darkness would soon begin again. Now, you know, for the first time.
Also worth discussing …
* Thanks to a map in Jeff and Mutt's office – more this handy "pause" feature on my DVR – we know that Outpost 4, where Charlize Theron and Jennifer Lawrence reside, are in the Bahamas, while the far-less-desirable Outpost 2 is in West Virginia. And was Myrtle's mention of "Louisiana swamp mud" upon her revival confirmation that Outpost 3 is in Louisiana? (Not that any of that even matters, since this entire season never really happened.)
* I mentioned this earlier, but did not you wish the final had saved some guests for the closing credits, rather than spoiling them on screen at the beginning? I wish I was not expecting Marie, Nan or Misty to show up.
Your thoughts on the Apocalypse final? Were you satisfied with the ending? Cast your votes in our polls drop a comment with your full review.
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